Fingers around My Toes
by Lapiz Liberty
Summary: Sequel to My Toes, My Knees, My Shoulders, My Head. Shikamaru and Sakura ended the rebirth case with the conviction that they have lost each other once and for all. As Tsunade stitches that case close, Orochimaru greets them with a surprise that will force the former lovers to beat the odds a second time – whether they remember their past or not.
1. Prologue

**Fingers around My Toes**

**By Lapiz Liberty**

**Summary: **Shikamaru and Sakura ended the rebirth case with the conviction that they have lost each other once and for all. As Tsunade stitches that case close, Orochimaru greets them with a surprise that will force the former lovers to beat the odds a second time – whether they remember their past or not.

**Author's Note: **To those who haven't read My Toes, My Knees, My Shoulders, My Head, you will surely be feeling you way in the dark in this fanfiction. You've been warned. To those who have read its mother fiction, this is a kind aftermath that I hope you will treat with the same fervour. And no, this won't be cliché.

* * *

**Prologue**

**Shikamaru**

That night wasn't the first time I had snuck into dad's office in the Intelligence Department and rummaged his belongings for a certain item. I was a genin the last time I did this, and the fact that he had not caught me (nor had anybody else) gave me the courage I had the second time to accomplish the same feat all over.

But that night had been different in an important way. The so called 'Pillars' of the Nara Clan had discovered my health condition and decided that I was no longer fit to succeed Shikaku as the Head or, as we more formally called it, the Chief.

Mother and father had refused to turn this into a grave issue until the Pillars brought this case to the Fifth Hokage three weeks ago. After all, we knew that I was bound to recover my original physical prowess within the span of one year. There was really nothing worth worrying about in terms of my future competence in filling the shoes of clan chief.

The Fifth, having handled my recovery after a band of professional bandits had ambushed me along with Sakura and Sai on our last mission, had declared that the issue would rest soon. We just had to be patient and focus on honing my skills again. In the meanwhile, she would not approve the Pillars' proposal to replace me. She justified this on the grounds that I had incurred amnesia; hence I was not yet fit to fight for my place as heir. We all had to wait

Just wait.

The motivation that led me to dad's office that night was the fact that he hated waiting. Patience had never been his strongest point. Add the underlying truth that he'd die for my sake a thousand times over and I was certain he'd take mad measures to secure my inheritance.

Really, all I intended on discovering was his secret plot which should have revealed itself in a form of an ancient clan guidebook or whatever shit my forefathers used to keep track of their laws, but I had found something entirely different. So I guess this validated the reason that night was different.

Inside a book about the history of forbidden jutsus, pinned in the sixth page of the chapter about rebirth ceremonies, was a crumpled and partly burnt letter with my handwriting sprawled all over the page. I hadn't got the opportunity to read the entirety of the letter; I got only snippets of the story behind it and the words that defined it.

The first paragraph implied that this was the third or the fourth letter of a series of letters I had written to myself. Why I would do this stupid thing, I couldn't fathom. It was as though I knew I would get amnesia and I had been desperate to retain a certain piece of memory. I sounded as though I would lose the very air in my lungs if I allowed myself to forget.

Forget about Sakura?

Dad had come in while I was meditating on her name, treading on the bounds of my amnesia to recover information that had been stolen but had existed within me. I had jerked at the sight of him watching me from the doorway, and I had slipped the letter back inside the book as fast as I could.

That night, he had confessed to me about his frustrations regarding our clan members and shared morsels of the plans he had formulated. He had been too sure that it was my sole motive for rummaging his office. He'd mentioned nothing about the letter and nothing about Sakura.

The third time I snuck into his office in the middle of the night to probe the contents of the letter, it was no longer where I had last seen it. His desk was empty, and I went home wondering about the past year and my amnesia and the ambush that had landed Sakura, Sai, and I in the hospital.

At home, I caught dad burning a piece of crumpled paper in the garden. I watched him from the gap of the sliding doors. The ashes flew to my direction. The smoke stung my eyes. Flames raged out the mouth of a metal barrel that stood next to the pond. He knew I was standing behind him and that I was troubled about the letter he was burning, but he let me watch and let me understand that he needed me to forego that curious little thing.

That evidence of the past that I had supposedly forgotten.

In the morning, before he left for work and I left for my therapy with Shizune, he told me to focus on our current dilemma.

"There are too many important events happening in the present to scrutinize events that are long gone," he'd told me.

Still, my curiosity would not be quenched. I wanted to know what the hell had happened and what the hell would happen. It was the past and the future merging to erupt in the present. As I was seated at the front of the house, preparing to wear my shoes, I wrapped my fingers around my toes to warm them.

This was another day – another battle.

Sadly, I didn't know what I was fighting for.


	2. Chapter One

**Fingers around My Toes**

**By Lapiz Liberty**

**Summary: **Shikamaru and Sakura ended the rebirth case with the conviction that they have lost each other once and for all. As Tsunade stitches that case close, Orochimaru greets them with a surprise that will force the former lovers to beat the odds a second time – whether they remember their past or not.

* * *

**Chapter One**

**Tsunade:**

Temari from the Sand Village was already standing in front of my desk when Shizune and I entered my office. She was decent enough to sport her black kimono which hid her battle outfit; nevertheless, her fiddling with the fan in her hand betrayed the composure she projected.

Our previous encounters had given me enough opportunity to observe her. She was not the type of woman to be fazed by a confidential meeting with the Kage of an ally village, which meant that the matter to be discussed weighed on her nerves just as much as it weighed on mine.

The first time we met to discuss this particular matter, she had bothered to bow and to present a gift from the Lord Kazekage to show Suna's gratitude for not battling them on the wealth they had acquired from the legendary sepulchre. Along with the gift of an ancient sandglass had been the promise to invest further into the joint medical ventures between the two villages.

Now, Temari merely nodded at me and proceeded to voice her doubts before I could even round my desk and sit on my chair. She was eager to settle the matter quickly; so was I.

"There's no doubt that the Sand Shinobi who attacked Neji Hyuuga is one of ours," she said, putting her hand on her hip and frowning at the documents she had left on my desk. "But autopsy reveals that he's been dead two hours prior to the assault on your men. I hope that, since your autopsy results show the same thing, this incident will not strain the relationship between the Sand and the Leaf."

I allowed myself to sink into the chair. The soles of my feet throbbed, making me wonder how the hours had gone by in the operating room without my noticing them. I sighed and said, "We demanded to have our own medics - Kazuo and Isas - present during the autopsy not because we were suspicious of you but because we wanted to further prove your innocence. In case somebody unearths that event, you won't have to travel here with a legal team anymore. Our own records will clearly state that the unfortunate Sand Shinobi had been manipulated after his death."

"By Orochimaru."

"By Kabuto under the orders of Orochimaru," I clarified. "We're doing our best to filter him off the equation while attempting to gauge his next move."

Temari glimpsed the door behind her. She folded her arms across her chest, her fan pinned between two of her fingers and tapping her hip. "Did erasing their memory help or did it worsen your chances of acquiring the information you need?"

Shizune scooped TonTon from the floor and told him to keep quiet. He kept snorting and kicking until I couldn't take his noise anymore and I ordered Shizune to walk him in the park. He was probably more hungry than usual but he wouldn't tell me. I waited for the door to be shut and locked before I responded to Temari.

"We had to choose between solving the case and disappointing Orochimaru." I crossed my legs and looked out the open window to my right. "We can still solve the case without any help from Sakura, Shikamaru, and Sai; albeit doing so would be harder. Nevertheless, increasing our burden is far better than risking the chance that Orochimaru will get what he wants from those three shinobis."

"You are working with a much smaller team than before?"

"Yes, and with much lesser time. Jiraiya is constantly outside the village, pursuing Orochimaru's trail and eliminating any threat that comes close to the village that has any hint of finding its origins with that snake. I have to thank you again for your cooperation during the Jounin Exams. It made protecting Sakura easier, knowing that the Sand has their eyes open for our enemy as well."

She lifted one corner of her mouth, the closest she could come to smiling right now. "It would have reflected poorly on us if the Haruno girl were abducted within the Sand's premises. She has given Lady Chiyo's lifelong work incredible justice. Perhaps that is the primary reason I am baffled by your request to fail her in the exams."

"You're a smart girl – er, young lady – I'm certain you've had your assumptions."

"You don't wish to give her a role that requires travelling out of the village as squad captain. At least, not while Orochimaru is hunting her down."

"Precisely."

"But she is not Orochimaru's main target."

"Yes, Shikamaru is at the heart of the problem."

"When I said that I was baffled by your decision to withhold Sakura Haruno her due promotion, I meant that I do not see why you are giving her security the same importance as Shikamaru's when Orochimaru must already know that the absence of her memories will have decreased her usefulness to him."

"The motive for her capture – if Orochimaru chooses to and succeeds in capturing her – will be impossible to fabricate. We are stressing the non-existence of the rebirth case, Miss Temari. Our actions revolve and evolve around that truth."

Her brows lowered over her eyes. Her gaze sharpened, but it was not threatening; rather it was contemplating, patient, and wise. "Are you considering the chance that their memories will return to them?"

"There is no chance of that."

"But the mind infiltration-"

"Is only as strong as their conviction on the lie we told them," I said as I reviewed the autopsy report from Suna. Their medical eloquence had improved a great deal since collaborating with our team. "Yes, that's true. However, there is no chance that erased memories will return. They are erased - not depressed so as they can surface when the subjects hit their heads against the pavement. The closest we come to developing a concern for that is the chance that they will grow suspicious and attempt to uncover the past."

"Their memories are already gone. Won't briefing them on the rebirth case prove harmless? You explained to me in our previous meeting that only the scars left by the rebirth are dangerous. I assume that those scars won't return even if they are reminded of the case."

I sat straight on my chair and tipped my head sideways, allowing myself to contemplate her wisdom. "Well, the secondary purpose of the mind infiltration was to push them apart."

Her brows rose and her mouth gaped. "_Oh_. I see. So until now you are making sure that they don't get ..._involved_...a second time."

"Shikamaru has willingly gone through extreme heights for Sakura's salvation. Orochimaru might use her as hostage and Shikamaru might outsmart the rest of us again and risk his life." The memory of his dying body on the Third Training Ground swarmed my chest with anxiety. I diverted my attention to the autopsy report again before the remembrance of stabbing Sakura could make me wince.

"And so far they haven't shown interest in each other?" asked Temari.

"Aside from the initial inconvenience that will have on the case, it will be disadvantageous to Shikaku Nara's plans for securing Shikamaru's position as his heir," I said. "Shikamaru isn't in the proper health to be deployed out of the village, nor is he in the proper position to be minding anything other than his inheritance at the moment. All the help we need from Suna is regarding Sakura Haruno's wellbeing since she is the one who is advancing quickly in the ranks and becoming of great appeal to the other villages. Leave Shikamaru to us. His father has already formulated a plan for his future, anyway. He is so clever that he even managed to include this case in the solution he's come up with. It's safe to say that this case will meet its end soon."

Temari blinked several times at me. This was the first she had indulged me with such an innocent stare. "And what kind of solution can that be?"

**Shikamaru:**

I heard the men's rumblings from the adjacent room. The Pillars of the Nara Clan, as we called them, had been in a conference with dad and a medical expert sent by Lady Tsunade since breakfast. The hours had passed, but the tension in their pitch and the awkwardness in their periods of silence had not once failed to frustrate me. I was continuously being drained of hope, but I remained sitting straight and drinking my tea as though nothing could break me. Mum sat opposite me. She lifted the china to her lips with her right hand and tapped Yutsuki to sleep with her left.

My little sister rolled to her side and spread her arms on the floor. She would wake up from time to time to look at me, as though to check if I had deflated and passed on to the next life. She was a curious creature with that habit of hers. It was as if she knew exactly what was running in my head.

Uncle Toya, mum's older brother, kept the sliding door to the garden slightly apart. He had joked earlier that keeping all the doors shut would suffocate us. After all, the Naras had a way of sucking the air in the room until there was none left for the other living beings to use. Mum had smacked his head and retorted that while that joke had been funny when she was yet to be married to Shikaku, it was now offensive because she had two Naras of her own to think of.

I glimpsed him through the gap of the sliding door. His back was turned to us as he watched the trees drizzle leaves onto the pond at the farther end of our garden. His grey hair danced with the blowing wind. His fingers maintained their grip on his cup of tea. Even though he was too talkative for me to endure, I loved him for standing by mother's side whenever conundrums like these would arise. Mum would not admit it, but dad and I were sure that Uncle Toya's presence meant the world to her now of all times.

I stared at the pool of green tea sitting at the bottom of my cup. It barely caught my reflection. I saw my ponytail, though, and the spikes of hair it had gathered as my crown. All my life, dad told me I would succeed him. All my life, he and mum prepared me for the task that I was bound to shoulder once I come of age.

It only took an ambush from bandits, an encounter with amnesia, and a dangerous quantity of physical disabilities to turn the tables against us.

I had no idea what would come for my family tomorrow. What if dad failed and the Pillars would not concede to the clan's laws? What if the expert medic that Lady Tsunade sent to us could not convince them of the lie that I was not medically capable of fighting for my inheritance in my current state? They were trying to buy me one more month to recover. What if the Pillars could not wait that long?

I saw mum inhale and exhale, and I could tell that she was tired.

Yutsuki opened her eyes to check on me again. I winked at her and she resumed her nap.

I bowed my head and said, "Mum, what if I lose?"

"You can't." She smoothed the skirt of her kimono and swallowed hard. "Your father is doing his best."

The sliding door of the adjacent room opened. We saw the silhouette of the men as they filed into the corridor and walked past our room. One of them glanced my way, and I cringed even though I knew that he could not have been looking at me on purpose. He could not have seen me, either. Why had I reacted like a frightened cat?

Mum poured tea on the empty cup next to hers. She carried Yutsuki to her lap and listened with me as father thanked the expert medic. The silhouette of a woman glided past our room. Dad opened the door and greeted us with a sigh.

Uncle Toya stepped in, too, and resumed his seat beside me. "How was the battlefield, Shikaku?"

Dad kissed mum's temple and sat down. "Master Mori nearly leapt over the table to strangle me. Sometimes, I wish I do not have to outwit them. Surrendering to their insanity would have provided me with the peace that I deserve."

"Sorry you I had to make you go through that," I mumbled.

Dad sipped his tea. "Still sulking? Tsk. I didn't say that to imply that you are a burden, son. You should have gone to the training grounds to exercise your shadow manipulation jutsu."

"I thought tradition is important."

"Tradition my ass!" He slammed the cup on the table. "They should have lowered their damn heads when you greeted them at the gate! They should have bid you farewell by retreating backwards until they reached the front door! You should have gone to the training ground and showed them that they aren't worth a second of your time!"

Mum removed her hands from Yutsuki's ears when she was sure that dad's outburst was over. "Shikaku, tell your son you didn't mean that."

"Of course I meant it!" He slammed his hand on the floor. "But I am glad that you rubbed the point of proper conduct on their faces! They should be ashamed of themselves! They treat my son as though it's certain that – "

"Dad!"

He froze; his mouth wide open and his arms flung in mid air.

I stood. "It's okay for them to treat me that way. I don't mind. Let's just focus instead on what we can do to fix this."

Uncle Toya brought out a flask of sake from his knapsack and tossed it on dad's lap. "Calm down, Shikaku. We understand that their behaviour is maddening, but Shikamaru has a point – "

"What did you conclude in the meeting?" Mum grabbed his hand and redirected the conversation, knowing that dad hated being lectured by his 'underlings'.

His twisted face relaxed with mum's touch. He mumbled his gratitude to uncle for bringing sake, consumed the contents of the flask, coughed, and answered, "As usual, I won them over. You have one month to recover, Shikamaru. It isn't the entails of the meeting that maddens me; it's their behaviour towards my own flesh and blood. Shikamaru, you will do everything in your power to repress those Pillars once you're chief, do you hear? I can bet my life that those old people would already be dead by that time. The future heirs need not be bullied by greedy men like we are."

Mum hit his head. "You hypocrite! Don't go ordering you son to do that when I've worked so hard to raise him to be a respectful and loving young man!"

"It's family politics, Yoshino," he said as he jiggled the flask beside his ear to check if he had really finished all of the sake. "We've agreed to stop from keeping Shikamaru in the dark about these damn things. Aren't I right, Toya?"

"The world is evil," he said.

I rubbed my neck and felt that my skin go hot. "Dad, what's the plan? Everyone knows I can't recover in one month. The Pillars only agreed to that because they're sure of my disability. They think they just have to wait thirty days to replace me but I know you've got something else in mind."

Uncle Toya stood and offered to take Yutsuki to her room. Mum thanked him and transferred the bulbous little girl to his arms. He bowed to my dad to mock him and left the room. Dad groaned his disapproval of him.

Mum massaged her forehead. "Shikaku, spit it out. Spare my son from further agony. He can handle it."

"Dad, you've snuck behind my back long enough. I need to know the plan."

"You'll meet your fiancé next week." He closed his eyes and flattened his hands on his thighs, entering the pose that told me he would not be bothered after he was done speaking. "She belongs to a sub-group in the Nara Clan and is the only one of the many candidates who has agreed to wed you with the kindest of conditions – that I promise to support her brother's financial standing and help them regain their title as the primary guard of the clan. A marriage between you two would suffice for your current disabilities and quiet the conundrum until you regain your health."

I descended to the floor. The air thickened around me and my slowed my breathing. I could not speak. My legs numbed beneath my weight. A vein in my neck throbbed.

Mum scooted close to me and squeezed my shoulder. "You need a partner who is physically strong, Shikamaru. After you've made your proposal to her and she accepts, you can stand in front of the Pillars and proclaim that you have solved their principal concern that has become the basis of your near termination. They no longer have to worry about the time it will take for you to recover your original prowess; you have a wife from the clan's guards who can fulfil the role that you are temporarily barred from fulfilling. Shikamaru, listen to me. You don't have to marry her given that you do recover fully."

My fists trembled. My whole body trembled. "And if I remain a cripple for the rest of my life, I will be the joke of the clan. I will be the only head who relies on the strength of a woman to defend him!"

I walked out of the room. Mum called after me, but dad told her to leave me alone. He said, with a voice abounding in confidence, that I would accept this plan because I was smart and I knew at the back of my mind that this was the safest course of action to take.

Suddenly, as I was marching out of the house, I remembered the night I had snuck into dad's office and found the letter I had written to myself about Sakura Haruno. I remembered dad and the flame he had used to burn that same letter. I remembered waking up in the ICU without any memory of the previous year. I wondered how I landed in this situation in the first place. What had I done to injure myself so badly?

I pushed open the front door. Sunlight blinded me for a couple of seconds. I raised my arm over my eyes to shield them, and I reminded myself that I shouldn't probe the events of my forgotten year. Whether my amnesia was authentic or not, I believed that dad burned that letter because it was the best thing to do.

In fact, I also believed that I wouldn't be here if I had been completely innocent from the act of steering fate in this direction.

I strolled the outskirts of the village, wanting peace and failing to find it. Choji would have provided a suitable distraction by reciting the recipe of her mother's newest dish, but he wouldn't be here until tomorrow morning. The Jounin Exams had just concluded in Suna two days ago. Ino, Choji, Kiba, and Sakura had participated. Once the results come out, I would be the only chuunin in the batch. Worse; with my current skills, I barely qualified to be a chuunin.

The wind poured on me with the strength of a waterfall, forcing me to lay on the grass and to watch the clouds.

"Nothing is wrong with me," I said. "Nothing is wrong."


	3. Chapter Two

**Fingers around My Toes**

**By Lapiz Liberty**

**Summary: **Shikamaru and Sakura ended the rebirth case with the conviction that they have lost each other once and for all. As Tsunade stitches that case close, Orochimaru greets them with a surprise that will force the former lovers to beat the odds a second time – whether they remember their past or not.

* * *

**Chapter Two**

**Neji:**

I stretched my legs slowly, endowing my joints the necessary gentleness they needed to permit my desired position on the roof. Rotating my palms against my knees, I felt the muscles relax and settle. The whistling of the wind from the east made my job as watch guard for the second shift much easier. The kind songs of the early morning that accompanied the wind levelled my thoughts and relieved me of the stress I had been shouldering for the past two weeks.

I tipped my head back and saw that the moon had slid lower on the other side of the sky. The darkness of the forest surrounding this inn helped in unravelling the true brightness of the stars. The constellations squeezed themselves in their assigned places in the heavens, beckoning for the attention of each person who was as wary as I was of enemies lurking in the dark.

My fingers slipped beneath my collar and touched the scar of the wound from Kabuto's attack in the hospital bridge. I thought it funny now that it was Sakura who made me promise not to lose my memories and yet it was her going about her life today without a clue as to what we went through. It stung, sometimes, to hear her make jokes in our group that she had told me in the hospital before and to have her ask which dish in the menu I preferred when she used to know the answer to that.

I could recall the afternoon she inspected the apartment she would end up renting. She had stood at the centre, turned around and smiled at me. "This is it," she'd said with nothing but certainty dripping from every word. Her description of the place had been 'pink and perfect', and she'd spent the entire afternoon convincing me that she was capable of living on her own.

She had given me a spare key the soonest that she acquired hers, saying that she didn't mind that I wished to check on her every other day. I didn't pursue the implication behind it...the lingering hint that she, too, had been afraid that she'd hurt herself and nobody would be able to open the front door to stop her.

While in the Sand Village, I had tried my best not to stare at her and ponder on the mind infiltration that had tampered with her memories. I had tried not to initiate a conversation unless necessary because I might say something that would reveal to her my knowledge of her life. The hardest of these trials happened after the preliminaries of the exam, when she was sent to the emergency room for the medics to stitch the gash on her forehead and I couldn't even yell at them that Sakura hated sedatives and anaesthesia. She'd rather feel the pain than last through several hours without sensation in her body.

In spite of our lost moments, I was glad that she was several steps farther from Orochimaru's clutches. She was safe now. I should be satisfied with that.

A pair of hands appeared at the edge of the roof. I reached for the kunai sitting beside me. Pale, sculpted forearms emerged and Kurenai's head rose above the curved tiles. She leapt upward and landed next to my left foot. "Your shift's over, Neji. Go to sleep."

I pocketed my kunai. "I'm fine and far from sleepy."

"We won't be taking breaks in the morning. Our aim is to arrive in Konoha by noon." She sat a little way behind me, on the fold of the roof. "Can you hold up?"

"I've been through worse."

"I can say the same thing about chaperoning these teenagers."

"What is worse than forcing adolescents to eat their meals on time and to return the inn's furniture to their original positions?"

"My daughter," she chirped, laughter clinging to her voice. "Hanako can be curiously brutal some days. She allows me no decent sleep. She's so young and yet she can already copy the script on the parchments I prepare in order to make special bombs. Her fingers have a life of their own. I swear she's more gifted than Asuma could ever have imagined."

"Hinata is constantly bragging about Hanako to Lord Hiashi and me."

"She does?"

"Kiba and Shino do so, too, actually. They say they are looking forward to being her instructor in the future."

"Oh my." She chuckled. "It seems they didn't know that Asuma already honoured Shikamaru with that task."

"It appears his future will be filled with adventure."

"He has enough adventure now than he dared hope for in his lifetime."

I glanced back at her. She looked at me and held my gaze. "We are doing everything in our power to keep him safe from Orochimaru. Shikamaru does have a future. I believe this danger in his life will pass," she said.

I pulled my right knee to my chest and wrapped my arm around it. The forest sustained its innocence. Morning would come soon. "The best I can do to help him is to reduce the team's worry over Sakura's wellbeing. Once we're back in the village, I won't be surprised if they shift your assignment from Sakura to Shikamaru. The Hokage must have come up with a more formidable plan during the two weeks we were in Suna, and I assume that your help will be requested on his side. They'll leave me alone to handle Sakura's tantrums after she finds out that her promotion will be hindered."

"And how do you plan to continue your stoic act towards her?"

"...I do not wish to discuss it."

"I owe so much to you, to Sakura, and to Shikamaru," she whispered. "The least I can do to repay you is to let you know that you're wrong."

"How am I wrong?"

"You've barred yourself from the chance of loving someone simply because you've lost that battle twice."

Ayano's corpse came to mind, with her lips smiling and her breath drifting. I traced the scar on my wrist with my thumb, thinking of the strange circumstances with Sakura that had made me vulnerable so soon after I had lost my fiancé. "Not once did I even begrudge her for being the instrument through which Kana killed Ayano," I said, more to myself than to her. "Perhaps, when the Hokage has relieved me of being her bodyguard, I will consider the prospect of re-establishing our friendship. Now is simply not the right time to think of her as anything more than my assignment."

Kurenai shrugged. Her hair draped over her bare arms and hid her flak jacket in its darkness. "That's one approach that I'll always respect. But I'll be lying to myself if I deny the impact that Shikamaru's heroism had on my judgements. You see...I don't believe that he could have done what he did for Sakura had he not loved her."

"I must admit that even I am still in awe of the cleverness he put behind Suna's intervention, the sepulchre, and the reversal jutsu."

"That's what an IQ of two hundred does to ordinary shinobis like us."

She laughed, and so did I.

"Nonetheless, that tremendous amount of IQ did not win him his plan of convincing Sakura that he had trauma-induced memory loss," I said. "She had been able to tell with just a petty argument that Shikamaru remembered her...everything about her."

"If you're meaning to say that she surprised you with her eagerness to save Shikamaru, I'd like to agree that her strength of will and mind is indeed incredible when it came to protecting him."

"True. I'm glad, though, that she doesn't have to carry the weight of the sacrifice she had made for him two months ago."

"But you remember all of it."

"The affections that I..." I breathed deep to straighten my thoughts. "The affections that I harboured for her was merely a by-product of an understanding we shared about the pain of losing someone precious to us."

She lowered herself to the spot next to me and shook her hands free of the grit she had collected in the process. "Sometimes, Neji, we can only reach the pinnacle of our strength with the help of the heart," she said. "It might not be Sakura that you end up with. Whoever that fortunate woman would be, I hope that you learn to listen to your heart during the moments that it pounds harder than intellect does. Never permit pain to drive you away from pursuing your happiness. I chose Asuma and fought for Hanako and I'm still here, aren't I?"

"Does Hinata tell you these things about me?"

"She expressed her concern because you seemed distraught lately," she explained. "My poor student came to me for advice on how she might ease you, and I told her to leave you be. If you have no intentions of settling this matter with Sakura soon, perhaps you should find a method that will lessen everybody's suspicion that you are bearing a secret. I heard Kiba commenting that you are being aloof to them, especially during this trip."

I stood and dusted my trousers. "I'll go in and check on our team to make sure they didn't sneak out again."

Kurenai nodded and let me leave in silence.

I strolled along the corridors and took my time in climbing the stairs to the third landing where our rooms were situated. The meagre lighting dimmed the intricate details of the engravings on the walls, reducing it to a shallow box that screamed solitude and suspicion.

Four groups of travellers had lodged in this inn after we did, and while none of them carried visible weapons or behaved in the fashion of a shinobi, I could not let my guard down and risk susceptibility. Two of the men who had dined in the hall for supper had glanced several times in Sakura's direction. Five, older and brawnier men had dared to approach Ino Yamanaka and engage her in conversation. Kiba did a terrific job at proclaiming the status of their relationship and insulting the men so gravely that I had to intervene to avoid a fight. Maybe my Byakugan was the reason the two men did not look at Sakura again. Nevertheless, pinning their interest on her as mere sexual attraction would prove to be unprofessional on my part.

Orochimaru was too proficient a shinobi to be underestimated.

I jogged to the door of the first room and peered through the gap. My sight adjusted to the gloom inside and I made out the figure of the men sprawled on their respective futons. Kichirou's left arm dangled over the edge of his elevated bed and his fist hung directly above Choji's open mouth. Akamaru sneezed, urging Kiba to shift his head from the dog's neck to its belly. Noboru hid inside his travel bag; a habit of his that everybody had grown to accept as normal rather than suspicious.

Satisfied, I crept to the second room and pried the sliding doors apart with my forefinger.

Hana, Miyako, and Momoka were snuggled close to each other in their large futon. A quilt of red and yellow sheathed their bare legs. Hana's socked feet peeped from the confines of the quilt. Momoka rolled to her right and embraced Kyoko, as though noticing that the young girl was shivering in the cold.

Ino had spread her bedding near the balcony and was snoring the famous snore that Choji had mimicked in the men's room after dinner earlier. Amazing. She was making the exact snorting sounds that he made.

I squinted at the futon next to Ino – the one where I had last seen Sakura rest her petite body.

The moonlight seeped into the room and washed the empty space beside Ino with enough clarity to confirm the validity of the panic that had struck me. My feet slid backwards and my tongue curled in my mouth to call Kurenai. Blood raced to my face and burned my skin. As I whipped around and shouted the first syllable of her name, I felt a body stand next to me and saw its slender hand push the sliding doors close.

Sakura threw her chin in the air. "What in the world do you think you're doing, Neji?"

My eyes remained fixed on her image. It was not until she snapped her fingers in front of my face that I acknowledged the realness of her presence. "You were gone!" I said, louder than I intended to.

She raised a glass of milk. The steam carried its putrid smell towards me. "I couldn't sleep so I asked the kind girl in the kitchen to make this for me. Geez, Neji, I never thought you to be so paranoid. It's not as though I've never been on a mission outside of Konoha before. Had I not been more myself, I would have knocked you unconscious with one punch! You looked as though you were enjoying the picture of helpless, sleeping damsels, you know."

Anger pinched my gut. I scowled and bit my tongue and walked to the third room to check on the last group of men. "Go to sleep," I told her. "We've got a long way to travel in the morning."

"I was kidding, Neji!"

When I didn't respond, she added, "You should sleep, too. You haven't slept at all, have you?"

"I'm none of your business."

Her silence tempted me to glimpse her.

"Fine," was all she said before she entered her room and whacked the sliding doors shut.

I lingered in the corridor, taking solace in the gloom that accompanied the inn's quiet ambiance. Sakura had crept out of her bedroom in the apartment to make hot milk on the second night that I had spent with her two months ago, back when her memories were still intact. She'd explained to me that it calmed her mind enough to let her sleep.

Instead of giving in to the luring of slumber, I spent the remaining hours of the night wondering if she still dreamt of Orochimaru and whether she kept those nightmares to herself.


	4. Chapter Three

**Fingers around My Toes**

**By Lapiz Liberty**

**Summary: **Shikamaru and Sakura ended the rebirth case with the conviction that they have lost each other once and for all. As Tsunade stitches that case close, Orochimaru greets them with a surprise that will force the former lovers to beat the odds a second time – whether they remember their past or not.

* * *

**Chapter Three:**

**Shikamaru:**

I settled on the chair and stared at the expanse of white board ahead of me. Lady Tsunade slapped black sheets of translucent paper on its surface and flicked a switch. The board lit up and vivified the outline of my skeleton on the paper. She straightened the one in the middle that was a magnified view of my vertebrae.

"This, Shikamaru - " she said as she motioned to the results of the x-ray scans. " - is what I call improvement. Your bones are growing stronger every day. Three days from now, we'll perform another series of x-ray scans and see whether you're fit for the program that I have outlined for you."

I clutched my knees, digging my fingertips deeper into my skin. "And how will that program help?"

She signed the paper on the clipboard that Kazuo handed her. "It's your primary step to relearning the jutsus you've used before. Kakashi has volunteered to assist in building your taijutsu skills to a respectable level. Since Kurenai has consumed her total limit of deployment outside of Konoha –a burden on my part because more and more kunoichi has taken up the role of mothering infants - she has agreed to be your instructor in ninjutsu. We've got everything sorted, Shikamaru. There's no need to look so gruff about the – "

"What a drag..." I ran my hand over my face and hunched lower. "Sometimes, I wish I were lazy to the point that I'd actually consider marrying my _fiancé _the second she sets foot in Konoha."

She switched off the glowing board. "You might regret resorting to that so quickly."

"With all due respect, Lady Tsunade, but aren't you doing me this favour because you wish to continue working with me in Intelligence?" I shrugged. "I mean, any other Nara has failed to please you thus far. It'd be to your advantage to make it mandatory for me to marry the mysterious girl from the clan guard who is supposed to be so strong that she can make up for my insufficiencies which – we all know – is a _lot_."

Kazuo lingered behind the desk, pretending not to listen as he filed the numerous test results that they've produced from my body today. Lady Tsunade scowled at me and ordered Kazuo to make her a cup of black coffee. He cringed, obviously disappointed that he could no longer eavesdrop on us, and conceded to retreat from the room.

Once the door was shut, she stood in front of me and said, "I'm helping you with all my might because you and your father deserve to keep your post as clan chief and heir. If you're telling me now that you're giving up your battle out of a lazy whim, I'll go ahead and write that order for you. "

"There's a large possibility it will happen with or without mandatory orders."

"Shikamaru, Konoha survived for such a long time partly because of the politics that ruled its major clans," she said. "You knew you'd encounter something like this – albeit, nothing _exactly_ like this – and so did Shikaku. You're the last person I'd imagined to be moping in my presence. If not for your physical condition, I would have already punched you back to the ICU."

"Why am I so beaten up?" I mumbled to my upturned hand. No amount of shamelessness could force me to look up at her and see her reaction. I caught her off-guard, definitely, because her left heel jerked outward as though in preparation to enter a battle stance. "Deep inside, I cultured a certainty that the amnesia is inauthentic and that the ambush had been a well-fabricated lie. With Sakura and Sai in my team, there could have been no chance that a group of bandits could inflict such damage on me. I have reasons to doubt and yet I-I...I feel stupid confronting you with them right now. This is what you, medics, call 'denial', and now is not the best time to have you suspect that I am truly mentally incapacitated but I just have to try...to try and check if this is just a bad twist of fate or something else entirely." Before she could give me an answer, I stood and said that I would go to the other room to gather my belongings.

She grabbed my arm. "Is that what you believe?"'

"...My apologies, Lady Tsunade. I shouldn't have been so blunt."

"It is normal to over-think these things, Shikamaru," she said. "But it will help a lot if you stop doubting the past and start focusing on the present. Yours is not a special case. Kakashi and Gai and Asuma had gone through worse. Keep your head above the water. I'll see you in three days."

I nodded at her. She released me.

The neighbouring room was bustling with female interns who were organizing the medicines that were to be delivered to the shinobis. It was part of the new system that the Fifth had implemented so as to save space in the hospital and to allow the injured shinobis the comfort of recuperating in their own homes. I slipped past the wooden shelves that separated the entryway from the packing area, scanned the room for Nanami, and cleared my throat to grab her attention.

She continued to scoop pills from glass jars and drop them into plastic containers that were labelled with the recipient's full name. "Kiba's fight was rumoured to be the most exciting! I still think that it's unfair because he has that gigantic furry dog to aid him but I seriously would have given up a months' worth of salary to see the fight!"

"I'm sure he was aiming to impress Ino!"

Eiko climbed her workbench and performed an exaggerated impersonation of an awe-struck Ino. They laughed. Fumiko threw a yellow pill at her. "You're just jealous because she gets the handsome guys without even trying!"

"Dream on!" Eiko jumped down the bench. "It's just because she's our senior and she's going to be jounin soon that the men are competing for her attention!"

Fumiko stuck her tongue out. "You sure about that? 'Cuz Sakura's already made history and she's not getting any luckier with the opposite sex."

"I thought she was in a relationship with Neji Hyuuga?"

"But he stopped visiting her in the hospital all of a sudden."

"You think he got her pregnant and she got an abortion and they decided to call it quits? There's no way they could have kept themselves clean with how much time they spent alone in RB3A just before Suna came to publicly promote the joint medical mission. We're talking about Neji Hyuuga – no one resists _that_!"

"But wasn't she supposed to be performing acupressure on his eyes?"

"That's foreplay," hooted Eiko.

"Hey, they're back from Suna! Neji chaperoned the group of examinees, didn't he?" Nanami set aside the bag of excess plastic containers and crouched in the middle of their circle, a wide grin spreading on her face. "I bet a hundred and fifty yen that Neji was deeply disappointed when Sakura got her amnesia."

Shiori scooted close to Nanami, her head ducked and her voice low. "Speaking of amnesia, I visited Intelligence Division early this morning to deliver pain relievers to Mr. Yamanaka and I overheard his assistant, Tsuneo, talking to Shin-the-pervert-librarian about the drama in the Nara clan. I never could have guessed it! I mean, Shikamaru's been going back and forth the hospital with Lady Tsunade for two months straight now but it never occurred to me that his current limp cost him his inheritance."

Eiko pouted. "Who wants to be head of their clan at a time like this? War's bound to happen and I'm sure he's grateful that he doesn't have to-

I cleared my throat louder this time. Nanami, Eiko and Fumiko jumped to their feet. I raised my hand as greeting and said, "Don't mind me. I'm just here to collect my vest and my medicines from Nanami and I'll be on my way."

Eiko and Fumiko bowed their heads. Nanami gaped at me.

Heat curdled within the confines of my skull and cut my patience short. I stepped around their workspace and marched behind Nanami to find my things in one of the pigeon holes. Spotting them – finally – I walked across their circle, stopped by the shelves, and looked back at them. "You might want to add in your stories the fact that Ino Yamanaka was part of the team that defeated the Akatsuki who killed our master and Sakura recently made public her discovery on how to lengthen your life expectancy in the battlefield – they can fool around with all the men they want and still be better than you will ever be. Talk about me all you want – I'm flattered that you're wasting your breath on me – but never fuckin' talk like that again about my friends and especially about my family."

I punched the shelf. They gasped in unison. I marched out as fast as I could.

I let my feet lead me down two flights of stairs and to the back of the hospital where the shortcut to the rehabilitation garden was. To me, there were no other people in this damned place. I was alone and I was drowning in the boiling waters of my temper and I could not come up with a decent means to vent.

My feet halted at the corner where a dislocated glass door led out to the garden. My breath escaped my lungs, slowly, quietly, because the stupid part of me worried that such a subtle action could wake the girl who was dozing on the metal bench.

I stepped closer to scrutinize Sakura. Her left leg was pulled to her chest, successfully pinning a shuffle of parchments in-between. A Styrofoam cup of steaming coffee balanced on her right knee, its steadiness reinforced by the two fingers she had used to bulwark it. Her head slid left and right against the wall, and the manner her mouth would gape at each drop made me smirk.

She was the last person I imagined would be in the limelight of dirty gossip, especially one that involved her with Neji. It struck me, as I watched her doze, that I knew so little of this girl in spite of the years we shared in the Academy and the missions we had accomplished together.

Had there really been an affair between her and Neji?

Her head dwindled in the middle. It inched forward, dragging the rest of her body along.

I dove and threw my arms to catch her shoulder. Her eyes shot open the second my skin touched hers. She folded her left arm and pressed her elbow against my neck. The cup jumped off her knee. The coffee splashed on our legs. The parchments burst sideways. I snatched those that escaped to the left and she snatched those to the right.

The remaining parchments that flew past our reach floated to the ground. Coffee drenched the paper and smudged the ink.

"Shit." Sakura slammed those in her possession to the bench and picked up the wet bunch. "Did I fall asleep?"

I crouched next to the puddle and helped her. "Yeah. You were gone quiet deep. Tired?"

She shook the parchment in the air. It sprinkled coffee on her blouse. "Suicidal, actually. I've got loads of work to finish and it doesn't count that I've just survived hell week in Suna."

"I've got to go." I put the parchments onto the bench to dry and wiped my hands on my trousers. The last thing I wanted to discuss was the jounin exams and it wouldn't have been possible to converse with her without unearthing it. "There's a bunch of texts they want me to inspect back in Intelligence," I said.

"Wait, Shikamaru!"

"What is it, Sakura?"

"How's your health?" She sat on the bench, tucked her hair behind her ears, and rubbed her hands once against her thighs. "I-I don't mean to pry because for sure everybody's been asking you that question but I wanted to tackle it as a medic to a patient...Shikamaru?"

I sat on the opposite end of the bench. "Why?"

She cast her eyes on the mess that separated us. "I sort of peeked at your medical chart before I left for Suna and I volunteered to assist in your rehabilitation but the Fifth rejected it. She said she wanted me to focus on the Reservoir Treatment – "

"Is that what you call it?" I pointed at my heart. "The chakra you store for support – you call it the Reservoir Treatment?"

She forced a smile. "Yes. That's the official name they came up with. Pretty common, but it'll do."

"It's practical." I peered at the wet hem of my trouser and sighed. Perhaps it wouldn't hurt to indulge her with the details of my condition. "I'll have to go in a couple of minutes, but to answer your question: I'm doing well. Lady Tsunade said that my bones are stronger and that improvement has been steady ever since. Why are you frowning? Did you find anything in my record that they didn't...tell me?"

"Nothing, really."

"Sakura..."

"Seriously, Shikamaru."

"I'm not dying, am I?"

"I'd be the first to tell you if that were the case."

"Then what _is_ the case?"

She walked to the slanted glass door, her arms stretching down behind her and pushing her chest up as she inhaled. At last, she turned to face me. "Okay, I was curious about your health because I was wondering if I turned into an insomniac and a complete paranoid on my own accord or if it's somehow an after-effect of waking up in the ICU. If you were suffering the same symptoms, it would somehow explain things. Also, I did volunteer to help you but they won't let me so I wanted to know instead if you want any medical advice. Ino and Choji are insanely worried about you."

I pressed my back against the wall and squinted at the sparse view of the garden outside. Sunlight retreated as the shadows of the storm-clouds hovered over the hospital. The grass bent with the wind's urging. I recalled the letter in dad's office and her name on that soiled paper. "You're suffering from over-anxiety?" I asked.

"You can call it that."

"What made you think that it has anything to do with waking up in the ICU?"

"The ambush caused the amnesia – it wouldn't surprise me if it caused my insomnia, too."

Dad burned that letter. He didn't want me to remember. "Sakura," I said. "It's normal to over-think things sometimes but you should stop it. Plus, you're working yourself to the grave. Taking a break might solve the problem. And I'll do with less medical advice and more physical labour. I appreciate your concern, though. Thanks."

"I'm glad to hear that."

"It's either you're a terrible liar or it's just impossible to believe that a medic of your calibre would consult me on the after-effects of amnesia."

"I'm not lying to you, Shikamaru. That's all the reason I have for checking on you."

I sighed and scratched the back of my ear. "Fine. It's too much work attempting to drag the truth out of women..."

She tied her hair in a ponytail and glared at the parchments on the bench. "Now my next problem is how to tell Lady Tsunade that I spilled coffee on the legal documents she ordered me to review."

I glanced at the parchment closest to me. "She's making you study the structure of legal writings?"

"Familiarize myself with it." She pointed at the one I was eyeing. "Reading this has turned me into an idiot in over five minutes. Can you explain that to me? Surely, you've had enough exposure to the legalities of the feud in your clan to-"

She stopped. I looked at her. She looked back at me, gawking slightly.

"So everybody knows about it?" I said. My chest rose and fell quicker with every second she chose not to respond.

Sakura closed her eyes and cursed under her breath. "I review most of Lady Tsunade's documents. I swear I told nobody about the details. There are rumours going around the ranks but...I-I swear I wasn't the one who started it and I will never put you through such-"

"I'm sorry. I can't help you with anything."

I walked away. I always walked away.

**Sakura:**

At home – in my apartment – I leaned my face so close to the mirror that I could see the particles of the red lipstick that had smudged outside the perimeter of my lower lip. I rubbed the length of my forefinger against it and the smudge left. A red mark on my chin replaced it.

Blindly, I reached my bedside table for the jacket that Ino lent me. She had trespassed my apartment three hours prior the end of my shift in the hospital and rummaged my closet for what she called 'a deliciously nasty outfit that will make the men drool'. She had expected to find nothing close to a nasty outfit within the confines of my abode but had turned the place over, nevertheless, in the miniscule hope that she could be wrong. Upon confirming that nothing had changed in my 'boring' fashion taste, she purchased a brown leather dress for me and left it on my bed as a surprise.

The jacket was an article of clothing I had failed to return to her three weeks before we departed for Suna. She'd be mad that I would use it to cover my bare back but I'd rather fight her than catch a cold.

My fingers tapped the table while my eyes inspected the windburn on either side of my lips. I reached further and touched the rough surface of the parchments instead of the jacket.

I sat on my bed and frowned at my reflection on the lengthwise mirror. This zip up dress had looked gorgeous on my body only a second ago. Now, all I could see was a snotty little medic who was going to venture the village for wild experiences while a genius slept on his bed, willing the medicines to provide him the miracle he needed to succeed his father as clan chief.

Shikamaru and I were not the closest of friends, yes, but I had been the closest medic to him during the ambush. At least, I think I was. Nobody could tell – not even Kakashi who had led the rescue mission on us – if I had medicated Shikamaru or made an attempt to medicate him before the enemy had incapacitated me, too.

I was continuously being plagued by the possibility that his physical disabilities had partly been my doing. Between Shikamaru, Sai, and me, he was the one who truly suffered. Amnesia had its consequences on my emotional health, but insomnia and paranoia could never compare to the loss he was facing.

My confession about these two difficulties had been my cry for comfort. I'd wanted him to know that he was not the only one stuck with the results of the ambush simply to justify my inability to help him recover. I didn't want him to blame me and to see my accomplishments as supplements for his suffering.

I dragged the zipper down my torso. The dress came loose, freeing my skin and easing my lungs. I stopped midway. I was suddenly unsure of what I was doing. How could I explain my guilt to the rest of my friends? We deserved one night of liberty to inhabit our adolescence and to enjoy the village we vowed to protect, didn't we?

Besides, I would be helping no one by punishing myself. I zipped up the dress, adjusted the straps over my shoulders, and slipped on the jacket.

Tonight, I would celebrate my pending promotion to jounin.

Tomorrow, I would find a way to redress my guilt.


	5. Chapter Four

**Fingers around My Toes**

**By Lapiz Liberty**

**Summary: **Shikamaru and Sakura ended the rebirth case with the conviction that they have lost each other once and for all. As Tsunade stitches that case close, Orochimaru greets them with a surprise that will force the former lovers to beat the odds a second time – whether they remember their past or not.

* * *

**Chapter Four:**

**Shikaku:**

I wouldn't dare count the exact number of days it had been since we first convened to address the issue of the rebirth case. A part of me – the young and hopeful part that remained in this tired body– had believed that the issue died the moment Ayano Hyuuga's man-made pond in the Third Training Ground had been filled with dirt over a year ago. I had volunteered to oversee the clean-up that Danzo organized, making sure that my family's forest lodging, the Fifth Laboratory, the containment area, and the Third Training Ground retained no hint of the events that transpired during the rebirth case.

Enough had been done to my son. I promised myself that he would return to his home once he had recovered.

Reality erupted in a manner so different from my intended path that, for the six days that Shikamaru had to recuperate in the ICU from Inoichi's mind infiltration, I was struck dumb. The battle was not over. To this moment in time, I still could not process the fact that Orochimaru wanted something from my son.

Securing him and Sakura had been priority. Now that we've accomplished that with great success, our next objective was to discover Orochimaru's motives for wanting Shikamaru.

Lady Tsunade, Shizune, Kakashi, Nohara, Inoichi and Neji joined me around the table. All together, we stared at the model of a pond at the centre with the rebirth jutsu's script encircling it. The light bulb overhead flickered thrice before it retained a steady glow. We shifted our weight to our other leg, crossed our arms, rubbed our necks, sighed, and flinched – whatever action could relay our frustration over the matter at hand.

"Shikamaru must have done something right to capture Orochimaru's attention." Nohara bent on her waist to look at the pond from the table's height.

Kakashi copied her pose. He sidestepped to change his vantage point.

Neji's scowl disappeared, his concentration disrupted by the awkwardness of their squatting positions. "What are you doing?" he said.

I sniggered. "You remind me of Minato. He does that when he's stuck."

"Changing perspectives." Nohara smiled and stood straight. She pointed at the script written in black ink. "That's exactly what was written in the cave when you found them, Kakashi?"

"Shikaku filled in the missing portions," he said. "The script that Shikamaru wrote over it made the exact jutsu hard to decode but we managed to get by with Inoichi's ventures into Shikamaru and Sakura's brains. He saw the battle and how the rebirth ceremony was before Shikamaru and Sai interfered with its progress."

Lady Tsunade snapped her fingers at me. "Shikaku, recreate the blood seal that your son used."

I turned to Shizune and she hurried to the farther end of the room to fetch a paint brush and a pot of red ink. She slipped the inkpot on the table and handed me the brush.

Neji asked if this was a safe thing to do. Lady Tsunade retorted that every element in the model was a dummy incapable of activating a rebirth jutsu. She then snickered and added, "We can attempt the ceremony on live humans to get a valuable result but that would tempt Danzo to jump on our backs and have the Konoha Council chop our necks with kitchen knives."

I dipped the tip of the brush into the pot. Red liquid clung to it. I leaned over the table and wrote over the black ink. Silence doubled the weight of the atmosphere in the room. The light flickered again, making me pause long enough to remember why I had opposed to the idea of convening in Lab Five. Still, it was the safest place to revive the rebirth case.

Shizune chuckled wanly. "You really loath Danzo, don't you?"

"Don't _you_?" she said. "If you people think that he's our ally, you're wrong. He warned me that he'll have me executed the second time the rebirth case threatens Konoha."

The hinges of the door screeched. We turned to the ANBU who had entered the room. He bowed, stood aside, and revealed the last member of our team.

"Jiraiya!" Lady Tsunade shrieked. "You're an hour late!"

Master Jiraiya winced. He scanned the faces in the room before sauntering towards the Fifth. "Easy, woman. The work you assigned to me isn't the simplest thing I've taken on in my career, you know. Naruto's back in the village safe and sound. No, he hasn't got any lead on Sasuke – thank goodness. I am worried, however, that I don't have any leads on Orochimaru either. Two months of silence after Kabuto's appearance on the hospital bridge isn't a good sign, Tsunade. I'm telling you: it's not a good sign at all." He peered over my left shoulder and hooted. "We're back in square one! That's not Shikamaru's blood, is it? Haha, I'm kidding, Shikaku. Inoichi, did you meet that woman I told you about? The brunette I saw coming out of the hot springs? She's your type, isn't she?"

Inoichi's cheeks burned a bright pink. He cleared his throat and stuttered a professional reply that didn't sound so professional at all. Being his best friend, I felt it my responsibility to salvage him from this sea of embarrassment; I announced that his girlfriend had not a single strand of brown hair on her head.

Master Jiraiya whistled. Lady Tsunade grabbed his hair, kicked his knee, and scolded him about the importance of this meeting. "We don't have time for your games so before I lose my temper completely – "

"You're all so serious!" He tugged his hair free from her grip and motioned to Nohara, who had resumed inspecting the script from lower angles. "Follow her example! Look at it from new perspectives! I taught Minato that!"

"The assault that happened in the hospital bridge would be a good way to begin the application of that new perspective," I said, forming parallel dots above and below a thick stroke of black line. "For starters, we have no coherent idea of the mark's true nature."

"The Fifth said it's a controlling jutsu," Neji said.

"It could have taken many forms." She dipped her finger into the inkpot and drew on the white table. "It could have been a foundation for Kabuto to do much worse than control Shikamaru's body for a limited span of time. To escape Konoha or to steal an item leading back to the rebirth jutsu – we'll never know."

I withdrew the brush and studied the red script for the final time. I opened my mouth to speak but was cut off when I noticed Neji roll his shoulder backwards and rotate his neck. He saw me and said, "I'm alright. The beds in Suna were stiff, that's all."

"Do you recall feeling anything unusual before you lost consciousness? In the bridge? After the attack?"

"...I was overwhelmed by pain. My senses were hazed, sir."

"He lost his heartbeat three times," said the Fifth. "It's an indication that the full form of the controlling jutsu would have been impossible to reverse without killing the subject. Sakura would be dead by now had Neji not intervened in time."

"Sakura felt the enemy approach Shikamaru."

"Shikamaru had a vague sense of the enemy's presence, too," Kakashi said.

Neji transferred to the Fifth's side to see the marks she had drawn. "But Sakura's inclinations had been more succinct. Maybe it's because she was the one who experienced the rebirth jutsu?"

"How come Shikamaru felt something as well?" Shizune scanned our reactions, as though daring us to answer. "It's impossible that entering the pond during the rebirth ceremony caused that."

Red paint smeared my fingers. I wiped them on the edge of the table, stopped, and checked my thumb. "Wait, it's not impossible – not really. Shikamaru had a cut on his thumb from where he drew blood to write around the pond. His exposure to the rebirth caused the heart failure. He could have established a connection with the enemy in the same manner Sakura did, even only by accident."

"Which brings us back to the script he used around the pond..."

Master Jiraiya tapped his foreigner on the overlapping scripts. "The answer lies in these two opposing commands. Make the use of blood of paramount consideration in whatever hypothesis you'll come up with. That Hiroshi did mention that the rebirth jutsu cannot succeed without a deep and personal connection between the predator and the vessel."

"You mean to say that Shikamaru's blood could have disturbed the stability of the pond while it was injecting itself in the plasma of Sakura's cells; hence making the jutsu dysfunctional through the unique composition of his own blood," I said.

Nohara raised her hand slightly to call our attention. "Or it could be that Shikamaru's blood – which Mr. Shikaku said has disturbed the stability of the pond – also managed to break the personal connection between Kana and Sakura. That connection could have been instigated through their blood and Shikamaru's addition to that equation made it lose its balance."

"As a third party?" asked Kakashi. "Therefore confusing the rebirth virus of who is the vessel and who is the predator?"

Inoichi grumbled his disapproval. "That's baseless. Kana's blood was never involved in the ceremony. Nothing indicates that Kana and Sakura's blood were vital elements to the rebirth."

"What if they made Sakura drink a drop or two beforehand?"

"Still baseless." Lady Tsunade stepped back and held her forehead. "We're not getting closer to a credible answer. If I were Orochimaru, I'd surely want the boy who found the major flaw of my sick jutsu in order to correct it and realize my dreams of immortality blah blah blah. Right now the flaw can be the addition of Shikamaru's blood on the pond or the script he wrote-"

"Using his blood," said Master Jiraiya.

"Using his blood," she conceded. "Shikaku, you have nothing special in your blood, do you? Come clean."

I lifted my hands in surrender. "Not that I know of, milady. I doubt that Shikamaru's blood, in particular, is what Orochimaru is seeking."

She stared at me, her gaze freezing me in my position. "Speaking of doubts... Shikamaru's conviction on the story about the ambush and the amnesia is dwindling despite the official reports and documents that support it."

I lowered my hands slowly, understanding that her gaze and her tone meant that she knew I was hiding something. Among the inconvenience endowed by the rebirth case had been the opportunity it gave the Fifth to recognize me in a personal level. A man of my stature couldn't be more uncomfortable.

Kakashi eyed me from the other side of the table. Nohara remained quiet, studying everything and everyone.

I did not bow my head despite my guilt. "I should have told you sooner that Shikamaru went into my office without my permission and found one of the letters he wrote to himself – the ones he wrote while recovering in the province. Milady, please let me finish. That letter contains a list of the dreams that he had about Sakura on his journey to Suna."

"I know about those dreams," interrupted Kakashi. "He worried Ayano and me because he kept on screaming in his sleep."

"Yes, those dreams." I turned to the Fifth again, ignoring her twitching eyebrow and deepening frown. "Shikamaru had admitted to Ayano that he dreamt about Sakura saying goodbye to him. He never mentioned, though, that in the dream they are standing in front of each other and their shadows are bound. Shikamaru had interpreted it as his guilt that Sakura's dying state was his fault. He next letter – the one that Shikamaru saw in my office – was useful because he spent it on forcing himself to recount moments they shared that are vague but particularly important to him – moments that helped him move from hatred towards her in the rebirth case for causing him so much nuisance to that of appreciation for teaching him to fight for a cause rooted on love. It wouldn't reveal much to Shikamaru, only that he thought of Sakura as special. That letter meant that the battle during the rebirth ceremony stressed him too much that he didn't actually want to remember them from the very beginning; hence we had to resort to mind infiltration so we could put the story together. He volunteered for the procedure, didn't he? He realized his trauma soon after we told him about the rebirth case."

Nohara glimpsed Kakashi and said, "Shikamaru burned those letters before returning to Konoha. You said he burned them after he formulated the plan to erase their memories."

"I had to read them," I murmured, afraid that my voice would crack. It had not been easy to betray my son by stealing some of those letters, but it had to be done. "It's my responsibility to know the real depth of his thoughts. I did that with the notion that he might have recalled something important about the rebirth jutsu while reflecting on Sakura."

Lady Tsunade waved her hand at me to indicate that I was forgiven. "Inoichi, did you notice anything when you checked his memory of the battle a year ago?"

"No, milady. We were too focused on the prospect of reversing the jutsu rather than understanding how Shikamaru had impeded the ceremony's completion."

Neji jolted, as though waking up from a trance. "Does anybody know whether Shikamaru had shared the existence of the letter to Sakura?"

Lady Tsunade rubbed her temples and groaned. Master Jiraiya ran his hand across her back to soothe her. "We need an answer," she breathed.

I glanced at the wall clock above the door. "I wish Yei Hano will arrive in Konoha sooner than the date agreed upon."

"That trump card of yours better be useful, Shikaku."

"I'm certain, milady."

Master Jiraiya looked back and fro the Fifth and me. "Who's Yei Hano?"

**Sakura:**

The barbeque restaurant was crowded. I squeezed myself between bodies that were either too sweaty or too smelly for human tolerance. I shoved the ones who refused to move and pretended to have not seen them altogether. They swore aloud and turned to accost me but were immediately shut up by my leather dress.

One of the waiters called my name as I was stumbling inside and fighting for a space to move in. I shouted 'TenTen' and he jabbed his thumb behind him. I struggled to the reserved sector of the restaurant and found TenTen, Hinata, Shino, Lee, Choji, and Kiba already seated and enjoying a glass of beer.

"Where's Ino?" I asked as I sat myself beside TenTen.

She grabbed my shoulders. "That dress can flatter any breast-less woman!"

Blood drained from my face and pooled in my ears. "I am not breast-less," I hissed.

Choji, Kiba, Shino, and Lee turned their heads the other way. I noticed that my fist was already raised in the air, trembling. TenTen laughed and patted my back. "Seriously, it suits you like a battle outfit! Lose the jacket, Sakura. We're here to have fun! Who knew you weren't breast-less?"

Hinata leaned backwards to see past TenTen and to greet me. I smiled at her, noting her satin top and black skirt. I made a motion of hacking TenTen's neck, to which she giggled and gave me the permission to assault.

A plate shattered on the other end of the table. I peered at Kiba, who had frozen midway to collecting the ceramics with one hand and sticking his chopsticks into the platter of cooked beef strips with the other. Choji raced me to inquiring of his dumb expression. When no insult could retract him from his petrified state, we followed his gaze to the narrow hall filled with people.

Ino glided to our direction with her chin up and her hips swinging side to side. The men parted to let her pass. Even the women and the children poked their heads out of their cubicles to watch her.

I smacked my forehead. Why couldn't I have men react to me that way?

Ino rounded our table and sat on the cushion next to Kiba. He stared at her from the corner of his eye. She touched his cheek and peeked at the broken plate. "Did Sakura attack you?"

"Zip it, Ino." I pointed at her leather dress. "You set me up!"

Choji laughed and his cheeks wobbled. "Kiba, you have to start believing that Ino's your girlfriend."

She glanced at her dress and then at mine. "Oh! Didn't I leave you a note that I bought matching dresses for us?"

"I wouldn't be so accusatory if that note existed."

"You must have missed it."

TenTen inspected Ino's dress. "So it's supposed to look that way."

I punched her arm. "Don't ask for me in the hospital when you dislocate your joints again – I'll be too busy to fix you."

Kiba wiped the sweat along his jawline. "The gods might require something big in return for giving me a girlfriend that looks this good."

Shino fished fifty yen from his front pocket and elbowed Choji. "I bet it'll only take fifteen minutes before Kiba has to fend off admirers."

Choji felt his pockets. "I think I'm short on money right now. I'll pay you sixty that it'll take thirty minutes."

"Twenty minutes." TenTen slammed a hundred yen on the table. "Fifty won't do, Shino. Cough it out."

Shino added another fifty yen to his bet.

Kiba hooked his arm around Ino. "You guys are making fun of me again!"

"Don't start a fight, Kiba," Ino grumbled as she filled their plate with tempura and sashimi. "Isn't Akamaru resting at your home? He's tired of combat and so should you. No fighting, okay? You're not the most suave when you're drunk, too."

Hinata checked her wallet. "I've got a hundred yen. I'll take TenTen's side."

"Twenty minutes it is," proclaimed Lee, adding his money to the table. "Sakura, what's your bet?"

I checked the people in the adjacent hallway. "Hey, isn't Neji coming?"

"He's preoccupied with being mysterious with his 'duties' but I made sure he'll come." She nudged my arm and winked at me. "Why? You miss him?"

"I was going to bet that he'd be the one to fight for Kiba's behalf again just like he's the one who always stops Lee's drunken outrage – sorry, Lee – but since he won't be here soon enough..." I tossed a hundred yen to the heap of cash on the table. "I'll settle for splitting the money with TenTen, Hinata, and Lee. Twenty minutes."

TenTen beamed at us. "Great! Now let's eat!"

Kiba maintained his grip on Ino's shoulder the entire evening. Nobody approached us to flirt with Ino, unfortunately, because news had apparently spread that everybody in our table had recently been promoted to jounin. That wasn't particularly true yet, but it flattered us that people had no doubt about our ability to pass the exams.

We ate and drank and behaved better than we used to. It was safe to assume that this change was brought about by that awareness of the villager's expectations of us. Perhaps it was sinking into our consciousness, too, that our promotion weighed heavier than we originally believed it should. The villagers supposed us to be dignified and chivalrous in a manner that Kakashi, Kurenai, Gai, Shikaku, and Inoichi appeared to be.

They had no clue as to what the nature of those people truly were; if they did, the profession of being a shinobi would be tarnished forever by the reality of our human vulnerabilities. Nevertheless, we had to sustain that certain image for the sake of feeding their hope. They had to be able to hope for the best and for them, the jounins were the best.

TenTen covered her mouth and burped. Lee hiccupped. Hinata finished her glass of beer and coughed.

"Aw, it sucks that Shikamaru isn't here!" TenTen rubbed her belly. "Who'll strategize our way home?"

Choji swallowed the food in his mouth and chuckled. "Shikamaru did have a knack for telling which two people should assist each other in going home. Didn't anybody invite him? Ino?"

Kiba shook Ino's shoulder. "Hey, you were supposed to invite Shikamaru. You said you would."

"I didn't." She looked up, and her eyes found mine. "That would have been heartless, don't you think? First, he's not fit to enter the jounin exams. Second, he has that clan feud to mind. Having him 'strategize' on behalf of our drunken asses would just be cruel when we can't do anything to help him. It's unfair."

Choji closed his mouth and lowered his bowl of gyudon. "I visited him in his house after I unpacked my things. He said he's doing okay and that they're already working with a solution to the feud. I waited for him to tell me more but he wouldn't. It's like he doesn't trust me anymore."

"He doesn't like to talk about it," I said. "He walked away from me when the clan feud came up in our conversation. Perhaps we'll do him a favour by evading the topic. Everybody's been talking about it and I'm sure he's fed up with people prying."

Lee hiccupped and swayed left and right. "Naruto's not here also."

"He's in Konoha!" Hinata blurted. "I saw him with Master Jiraiya."

"I did, too!" TenTen said. "He was carrying the poor boy on his back and I think he was going to drop him off to his apartment to rest. Was unconscious like a baby who just finished his bottle of milk. Really, Shikamaru shouldn't be so upset about the jounin exams when one of ours is still a genin."

Pushing away my beer, I decided that I would remain sober enough to tend to Naruto's injuries later in the evening. He never came home to Konoha without sporting at least two fatal wounds. That Naruto...I wondered if he encountered Sasuke.

Ino scooted closer to Kiba for warmth. "Let's stop pitying Shikamaru. He'll join us once he's ready. I'm sure of it. Right, Choji?"

Ten minutes later, the barbeque restaurant transformed into a bubble deafening chatter and laughter. We were still stiff from the journey to Konoha and the noise wasn't helping our tolerance for raucous environments. Shino suggested that we head home but TenTen insisted that we visit a karaoke bar. Everybody agreed on the condition that no one would go wild with the songs.

We filed out of the restaurant with one boy escorting one girl to create balance. Lee walked beside me in the main road with Kiba and Ino following our trail. TenTen kept Choji engaged in animated conversation. Shino and Hinata walked in silence.

Lee spotted his favourite karaoke bar and dashed inside without our permission. TenTen marched after him. Ino told Kiba that she'd stay outside to stretch her legs and breathe in fresh air. She'd follow inside in a couple of minutes.

Kiba kissed her lips quick and wrapped her in his jacket to keep her warm. When he was inside the bar, I assured Ino that Shikamaru would be fine. She forced a smile and shooed me.

**NEJI:**

Laboratory Five reeked of death's stench. I failed to realize this until I was manoeuvring past the crowd in the main road and absorbing the energy that live people exuded. The waiter at the barbeque restaurant had relayed to me TenTen's message that the gang had headed to a karaoke bar. Which of the dozens of karaoke bars they chose to terrorize, she forgot to tell.

As I was dragging my feet on the road, fatigued and hungry, I spotted a group of men who were repeatedly glancing at the mouth of a nearby alley. My eyes travelled in that direction and found their reason for staring valid.

Ino Yamanaka donned two jackets – the bigger one presumably belonging to Kiba – and a short blonde hair that was brushed back to reveal the length of her pale neck. Her leather dress hugged the curves of her body and left her legs bare for admiration. She lifted her head above the crowd and squinted at the distance. Turning, she saw me.

"Oi!" Ino waved her arm in the air. I glimpsed the open door of the karaoke bar and back at her spot in the alleyway. She stepped out of the darkness and waved both arms. "Neji!"

I entered the sidewalk to avoid the traffic of people. She tapped her heels against the pavement as, perhaps to keep warm. I ducked as I passed a dumpling stand and asked her whether TenTen assigned her to watch out for me.

"No. I wanted to stretch my legs. Been sitting for hours." She tipped her head towards the karaoke bar. "You're gonna chaperon us again in there?"

"I have no plans of defending your boyfriend in a brawl, Ino. No, I'm not going to chaperon you."

"Oh." She scoffed. "So you're here because TenTen threatened you again. I can't believe you're letting a girl bully you into doing things that only seem to agonize you."

I frowned, hoping to restrain myself from cringing at the mention of her name."TenTen is anything but female when attempting to get what she wants. Anyway, do you want anything from me?"

She overlapped the hems of her jackets over her dress, shielding her cleavage from the view of the passersby. "Look..uhm...dad made me promise not to stick my nose into the whole..._rebirth case_... but-"

I stepped closer to her, forcing her to retreat into the alley. Her blue eyes glowed in the dark. I focused on them. "Your memories of it are supposed to be repressed and fabricated. What did you do?"

"What did _I do?_" She sucked in air, ready to shout her defence, and stopped when a thought dawned on her. She exhaled and let the heat drain from her cheeks. "Y-you mean you actually think that I'm so powerful that I can reorder my own memories?"

I arched my left eyebrow. "You are a Yamanaka, aren't you?"

"Well, yeah..." She smirked. "Yeah, I can do that – with some practice, I guess – but it wasn't my doing this time. Dad has trouble infiltrating the mind of another Yamanaka and now that you know that, you can't tell anybody else because that's his greatest weakness. Promise me."

"Fine. I promise."

"Good."

"So he did not repress your memories of the case?"

"I resisted," she mumbled and shrugged her right shoulder. "It's not that I wanted to participate further into the case – dad doesn't trust my skills enough to permit that – but I couldn't comply to the repressing of my memories when it came down to it. He made me swear instead that I should go on acting as though it never happened. The Hokage knows about our deal. She doesn't believe I can do the case any harm. But I didn't trust myself either, apparently, because after we visited Shikamaru, Sakura, and Sai in the ICU, it struck me that I couldn't pretend as though nothing extreme ever happened to all of us. To him and Sakura, especially. You should've seen me when Shikamaru asked me out and we went on a date. I had to back out from our romantic relationship in less than twenty-four hours! I-I did like him but it-it wasn't going to work out after he chose Sakura over me once. The guy doesn't fuckin' remember it, either. Damn him."

"...Ino?"

"What?"

"Are you sure you want to indulge me with your...feelings?"

She flushed. "That's-that's not my intention! I'm not sharing these things because I want your sympathy! I...I'm being generous with my personal life because you have to know that despite my hurts and the awkwardness that has settled between Shikamaru and I, he'll always be my teammate. He's crumbling, Neji, and I don't want to stay away from him simply because I hate him for dumping me once so now I want to know what's really happening in the rebirth case. Neji, I want to know how I can help Shikamaru without hinting the truth. You're the only one who'll allow me to do so. Please, Neji. Please?"

"Have you tried visiting him and asking him outright?"

She shook her head and said, "I'm not good at formulating words of wisdom in the spur of a moment! I don't want to know the problem and just..._know_. I want him to feel like he can depend on me for solutions."

I pondered on this. Ino's admirers had vanished. A new group of teenage boys and girls occupied their spot, joking and sharing each other's food. "Your help might prove useful now more than ever," I said. "ll have to consult with the Hokage before surrendering the confidential details to you. For now, however, you can do the team a big favour by convincing Shikamaru that his doubts are futile."

"What doubts? Wait, are you saying he's doubting his amnesia?"

"He confronted the Hokage with it earlier in the hospital. There was no argument. Lady Tsunade said he retreated quickly after confessing his thoughts."

"Even if Shikamaru's doubting the amnesia, he hasn't actually found basis on which to fight for his theories," she decided.

"He may be physically deficient at the moment, but his brain remains as sharp. He'll be probing the issue soon."

"I can do what you want," she said, nodding to herself. "Yes. I can make him believe that the amnesia is real. It'll be convincing, coming from a Yamanaka. He'll believe me."

I stared down at her. She was a Yamanaka indeed, but she wasn't brilliant in shielding her emotions from scrutiny. She flexed her fingers and tapped her heels, hinting me of her real agenda. "Ino, do you still have feelings for Shikamaru?"

"No! I have a boyfriend! I love Kiba! What the hell, Neji?" She sidestepped to peer at the karaoke bar.

"That ought to be the truth," I said. "I don't want you to get emotionally involved. That will complicate the conundrum Shikamaru has found himself in."

"Can you drop the formal language and say it like an ordinary person?"

I, too, found myself glancing at the karaoke bar. "He has a fiancé, Ino. He needs this woman to maintain his position as the heir. We don't need you to make it any harder for him to choose the right path."

Ino touched her hair, bowed her head, and took a deep breath. "And-and Sakura? Will she be in any trouble?"

"All I can tell you is that she won't be happy in the coming days."

"I should never have expected an easy answer from you."

"Please be a good friend to her," I said, hoping I didn't sound desperate. "It is unkind for me to ask that of you especially after hearing of your heartbreak due to their love affair – their _forgotten _love affair – but you are now the closest I have to an ally in guaranteeing their safety in Konoha. We mustn't wait for Sakura to scrutinize the facts of the ambush before we act upon their doubts."

"Yeah...yeah...a fiancé, huh?" She laughed aloud. "Well, I'm glad that Sakura doesn't remember loving that idiot Shikamaru. 'Cuz it's been two months and I can't believe that news stings the way it does for _me_."

I touched the scar on my neck. It itched. "Forget that you have the slightest of feelings left for him – it's the easiest means to succeed."


	6. Chapter Five

**Fingers around My Toes**

**By Lapiz Liberty**

**Summary: **Shikamaru and Sakura ended the rebirth case with the conviction that they have lost each other once and for all. As Tsunade stitches that case close, Orochimaru greets them with a surprise that will force the former lovers to beat the odds a second time – whether they remember their past or not.

* * *

**Chapter Five:**

**Ino:**

Morning light seeped through the blinds and touched my toes. I stared at the stripes of light across my flesh, producing in me a newfound irritation. The morning was here again. Why couldn't the sky have remained dark for a little bit longer?

The late hours of yesterday evening had been too eventful that my mind and body were drenched in exhaustion like I had never had to deal with before. The old rebirth case team convened and suddenly, I was being assigned a crucial task in the plot. If only I wasn't so mad at daddy, I would have thought twice about agreeing to Lady Tsuande. He did not want me involved. It was too dangerous.

The front door of the apartment opened and closed. I hear Kiba shuffled outside the bedroom, probably trying to get Akamaru to stay in the living room, and pushed the bedroom door inwards. He found me in the middle of the bed, cuddled inside his blanket, hair sprawled over the pillows.

I smiled.

He smiled at first and frowned the next. "Get up," he said in the best imitation of his mother that he could muster. "You've got to go home now, Ino. Your father must be worried sick for you."

"He won't be," I mumbled and closed my eyes. "He's got his girlfriend now and they can have the place to themselves. I don't care."

"It's not like he's sneaking behind your back." The edge of the bed depressed as he sat.

"I don't like that woman."

"But your father likes her."

I jerked upwards to sit. I scowled at him. "Who's side are you on?"

"Yours, of course." He glanced out the partly open door – at Akamaru – as though the dog had the answer to my problems. He scratched his head. "It's just that...Ino, don't you think your father deserves another chance at love? He's getting old and it would be kind of lonely to be alone in his deathbed. Might as well drag someone pretty along with him on his trip to the other side, right? Not that he's going to die soon or anything but all of us will eventually get there...you get what I mean?"

I didn't bother to pull up the straps of my nightgown as I descended on my elbows and stretched my legs beside his arm. "He has me. Mom knows I've done everything I could for him. He and I are enough in that house. We were doing well until-"

"Ino." He leaned forward and transferred his arm beside my waist to sustain his pose. "We're jounins now – going to be jounins in a couple of days. You already rent your own apartment and trespass mine half the time. You barely visit your house. You pay somebody else to run the flower shop. Your dad is lonely. I know you're freaked out that I suddenly sound like a wise old man but the truth is that we all grow up and if I want to be the man who stays by your side, I have to bear the responsibility of earning you father's favour. Allowing you to sleep in my apartment and abandon your family home will not make him fond of me. My sister told me that and I'm pretty sure she's right."

I stared into his eyes and I marvelled at the changes he'd adopted since we officially became a couple. It was no longer just stealing kisses and sneaking to the park at midnight and going to dinner every opportunity we could. Somewhere along our relationship, he began to look at me differently and treat me differently.

Kiba cared.

I kicked the blanket aside and rolled out of the bed. Akamaru barked at us. Kiba motioned to the upper portion of his closet and told me it was where he stored the clothes I left behind. I undressed as I entered the bathroom.

"What's your plan for today?" he shouted from the bedroom.

I grabbed his towel behind the bathroom door and thought twice if I should be honest. It wouldn't do any harm, I decided, because only Sakura and Choji knew about my failed romance with Shikamaru. "I'm visiting Shikamaru in a couple of hours," I said."Check on him. See if he's sane."

"Are the rumours true?"

My chest clenched. "What rumours?"

"Clan thing or whatever that is. Being replaced as heir?"

"I think so." I allowed myself to breathe out slowly.

"Then you shouldn't be bullying Sakura."

I gripped the shower curtain and would not move it. His statement sank in. I marched out of the bathroom, a towel wrapped around my body, my hair sticking out in all directions and failing to warm my bare shoulder the way they used to.

Kiba blinked at me from the bedroom, feigning innocence.

"What does that mean, huh?"

He shrugged. "You said you asked her to check on Shikamaru for your sake and Choji's and she did exactly that – probe his medical condition and whatever. Last night she reported to you that Shikamaru's evasive on the topic about his clan feud – "

"How did I bully her?"

Kiba glanced around the room and saw my discarded leather dress at the floor. He pointed at it. "You bought matching dresses, knowing you'll look better in it than she will."

I opened and closed my mouth, my mind awfully useless in a state of panic. I put my hand on my forehead and I was reminded of Sakura's huge one. "I meant it as a joke, you know."

He stood in front of me and flattened his palm on either side of my face. "You're frustrated with your dad. I understand that. Just don't vent it out on Sakura. Turn me into your punching bag. The last time you and her gave each other the cold shoulder for one week, you barely kissed me. I can't go through that again, okay? You tell her more than you tell anybody else...even me."

I laced my arms around his neck. The heat of his flesh enticed me to step closer. "Are you jealous?"

"Jealous? _Me?_" He snorted. "I'm the best shinobi in the Hidden-Leaf! I don't get jealous of anyone – especially your best friend! What kind of question is that?"

The tips of my ears burned with annoyance. I rolled my eyes and glide back into the bathroom. "Sometimes, Kiba, you can be so dense it sucks the appeal out of you."

"What? Hey, come back here and explain!"

Akamaru barked, supporting his master.

I pushed aside the shower curtain, dropped the towel, twisted the faucet, and let myself be submerged in hot water. "I love you, Kiba!" I said above the noise of the water hitting the tiles.

He poked his head inside the bathroom and shouted that he loved me, too.

The echoes that his voice made, however, were too weak to deafen me to the whispers of my guilt. Sakura had made no mention of my harshening treatment of her, but people were beginning to see the difference between our friendly competitions and my subtle attempts of belittling her. The wickedness of my actions bore holes in my heart and, for sure, in our friendship.

It was unfair for Sakura, wasn't it? She remembered nothing of the rebirth case and nothing of her affair with Shikamaru. Neither of them remembered that they had left me behind and moved on. They had rejected me, and all I wanted was to prove them wrong now that I had the chance.

But I would be wrong to pursue vengeance; regardless of how restrained I'd be with it.

Shikamaru needed me to be his teammate and confidante while Sakura...she needed me to pretend that I felt no aches after she stole my first love. Right. After all, I had loved Shikamaru enough to give him what he wanted.

**Shikamaru:**

There was a room in our house dedicated to the Nara Clan's heritage. Its four walls were lined from top to bottom by heavy mahogany shelves that were used to store clan documents that were both old and new. As the collection grew, dad would transfer those at the bottom of the group to the Nara Forest Lodging where our deer could guard it with their lives.

I used to hate this room. This was where Michio smoked his tobacco and lit his Harini whenever he stayed in our house. This was where he bullied me about becoming the heir and surpassing dad.

I didn't know what possessed me this morning, but I got out of bed and went straight here to find something. My mind did not translate my gut's cravings until I was touching the big fat book of our clan's family trees, and I was trying to locate the group of clan guards to whom my future wife belonged.

The pages were stiff and the leaves pressed on each corner of the paper withered to ashes with every touch of the finger. Midway, I stopped to consider if the entire book would break.

Mum discovered me here a few hours ago. She knew what I was doing the second she saw what I held in my hands. While dad would mock my effort to demystify my fiancé, mum would allow me to exhaust myself in that futile effort. The brain needed to be satisfied that way, and sometimes I'd like to think it could be just as irrational as the heart.

The coffee she left me sat on the table, untouched. I reached for it, finally, and took a sip.

Unfamiliar footsteps travelled down the corridor. I set down the cup noiselessly and listened. It was not from the heavy weight of the Pillars that the floor was creaking. The person was light and swift. A female. My eyes bulged, and I swallowed the coffee too quickly. Could the woman from the clan guard have come earlier than expected?

The sliding door spread apart. I stood, my breath in my throat.

Ino snapped her head in my direction. Her orange sundress swayed with the smallest of movements. We stared at each other. I lowered the book to the table. My heart beat fast, foregoing all calm and sending emergency signals to my brain.

I had not expected to see her.

She threw her hands to her hips. "There you are! I've been looking for you everywhere in your house! Luckily, I bumped into Aunt Yoshino and she told me where you've been hiding since dawn. What's that book over there?"

I shifted my weight to my left leg and scratched my chin. "Hi."

Her energy died. She looked away from me. "Hey."

"How was the exam?"

"Challenging. But I did well."

"As expected. Who were you up against?"

"Look, Shikamaru." She held her hands out, palm facing upward, to stop me. "You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to. Since when did you feel that moral obligation towards me? C'mon, pal, we're better than this. You can say it's a drag. I won't mind 'cuz it's already written all over you face."

Her vivaciousness struck me hard and in spite of the sting she caused, I felt more alive than I did a second ago. I sat on the chair again. "Fine. _What a drag_."

"There you go!"

"Why are you here? Aren't you supposed to be on duty in the hospital?"

"Day off," she said as she scanned the room. "We're allowed three days of rest upon our return."

"How come I bumped into Sakura in the hospital yesterday? Was dozing off a corner with a cup of coffee and legal documents."

Her lips pressed together. Her fingers clutched her waist. "She's a workaholic, you moron. She doesn't know the word 'rest'. It's like she's allergic to it."

"Ah." I fiddled with the loose pages of the book, deciding that she and Sakura must have had a fight.

Ino walked to the table and sat on the chair beside me. She crossed her legs and ducked her head to catch my gaze. "Hey. I came here to know how you're doing. Everybody's worried about you. Choji, especially. He feels you don't trust him anymore."

"A lot has happened." I tried not to look at her face because something twisted and hurt inside me the more I acknowledged her presence. "The Pillars come here often. I go to the hospital often. We're mad too often. Can you send mum flowers? It'll help calm her down."

"Yeah, sure. Daffodils, right?"

"Yeah."

"And Uncle Shikaku?"

"He's busy."

"...with what?"

"Being my one and only father."

"Do you have a plan?"

"Of course we do." I cleared my throat. "I don't want to talk about it until it's final, though. I'm sorry."

"Does it involve a woman?"

I raised my eyebrows. "Did Inoichi tell you? He always does."

"No." She hugged herself, as though the room had gone too cold for her. Goosebumps appeared on her arms. "We aren't really on speaking terms right now. I just thought of the worst case scenario and there you go. A woman _is_ involved. How cliché of your family."

"She's clan guard."

Ino gasped. "You're marrying a beast?"

"She ought to be powerful but she's not a beast," I grumbled. "Speaking of which, is...is Kiba treating you well?"

She nodded her head fast. "Yup."

"If he hurts you..."

"Shikamaru."

"Choji will eat him if he hurts you." I yawned and covered my mouth. "He doesn't eat dogs but I guess I can help torture Kiba if he ever makes you cry."

She touched my elbow, which was propped on the backrest. "It's okay," she whispered. "We're okay, right? The two of us?"

"I guess."

Her fingers were warm. I cherished the sensation. She sighed, clasped my jaws, and turned my face towards her. "Shikamaru, there's something we need to talk about. I see it. You're hiding something. Spit it out. It's eating you. I'm sure because I've been with you since we were babies. It looks like a disease on you so just come clean with it."

I sank on my seat and laid my head on the table. "I'm going to be a husband to a total stranger...sometimes I can't comprehend why I'm willing to go through this shit..."

"It's your family," she cooed. "You fight for-"

"Sometimes I wonder why I'm so beaten up." My eyes locked on hers, knowing she was at her most vulnerable when surprised. She wouldn't be able to think or to school her expression fast enough. A hint of a panic surfaced in the manner her mouth moved...like chewing pieces of truth and forcing them down her throat while she produced the lie. Convenient as it might to have the truth within my fists, I could not use my intelligence against her. In the end, I was waiting and not analyzing, trusting and not condemning.

"What _did_ happen last year?" I said. "I don't remember anything from after I left Konoha with Sakura and Sai. Everything is a mighty blur. One year and forty-two days, exactly. Lady Tsunade gave me a timeline. It was strange – it felt strange. Ino? You're holding your breath."

She exhaled and her chest dropped. "I told you to spit it out. If you've got something to ask me, quit dilly-dallying and say it."

"What really happened?" I straightened on my chair. A part of me remained alert for the silhouettes against the fish paper of the sliding doors, of the possibility that Shikaku was listening to our conversation or had assigned one of our men to do so. "I admit that I wasn't interested in finding out at first. But I found a letter in dad's office, Ino. I wrote a letter to myself about Sakura. It doesn't make sense, though. It would if I had the preceding letters, but I'm sure dad has burned all of them by now."

"...A letter?"

"A letter."

She squinted. "About Sakura?"

"Did she and I have a relationship, Ino?"

"You're colleagues."

"Ino."

"A romantic affair?"

"Yeah."

"I don't know." She clasped her knees, stood, and walked to the window. She opened it. "So many things happened. I wasn't exactly stalking you, you know? I can't know for sure."

I approached her, wary of my footfalls on the floorboards. "But you suspected something?"

"Yes!" She could not look at me long enough. "You were the two closest people in my life and – "

"That's why you turned me down," I said. "She's your...like a sister to you. And I..."

Her shoulders slumped and she frowned at me. The nearby hickory's canopy cast shadows on her face, dimming some parts and highlighting others. "I turned you down because I was falling in love with Kiba. I never did have the chance to figure out what the real deal between you and Sakura was. Nobody but me suspected. If you're so curious about it, ask your father. After you had a fight with him one night, you stopped talking to Sakura. She was really devastated. I'm glad both of you don't remember and you can go on acting as though...well, I'm not sure. I had no idea where your relationship stood."

I descendeded on the window ledge and folded my arms across my chest. She seemed genuine enough. Her assurances that she had no affections for me whatsoever brought my attention back to the disintegrating book. It lay on the table, beckoning me over to inspect the faces of the clans guard and to compare every female to this woman beside me whom I loved.

"Shikamaru, why does it sound like you don't believe in your accident?" she said.

"It's hard to acknowledge that I can be so weak and vulnerable so as to land in this mess. Not to mention Sakura and Sai got amnesia too. Kakashi said that the physical assault and the combination of the ninjutsu they used on us caused the memory loss."

"Hence the similarities in your amnesia."

"I suppose."

Ino pressed two of her fingers on either of my temples. I craned my neck, panicked by her nearness, but she maintained her grip of my head. "Stay still," she hissed. "I can check whether or not this amnesia of yours is real. This is the only way you'll stop acting like a complete schizo."

I couldn't tell if it was the scent of lavender on her or the flow of foreign chakra in my brain that was filling my chest with a tingling sensation. A splotch of black spread across my thoughts. My eyes closed. My mouth opened, willing the air to fill my lungs in case my body forgot to function properly.

Ino lowered the rest of her hand on my cheeks. I felt myself smile. She cautioned me that I was in a temporary high. The elation would die a few seconds after she finished retracting her chakra. My head bobbed. She wiped the sweat on my forehead and withdrew.

I groaned, rotating my neck to help hasten my recovery. "How is it?"

"Nothing, Shikamaru," she mumbled. "It's normal. There's a dark space where your memory's been affected but there's no trace of disordered fragments. Remember when dad taught me about the sequencing of images in the brain? Mind infiltration leaves marks like fingerprints or warping in the film strip we see. Yours is clean. Wait, I'll check again."

"No." I stood and moved away from her. "You're right. I'm being stupid. It's just difficult to accept that I'm crippled like this. I'll be okay, Ino. You've done enough for me. Just coming here..."

She looked at her palm where my sweat was skating down to her wrist, and she wiped it on her dress. "Ask Uncle Shikaku, Shikamaru. If it continues to bother you, ask your father. I'm sorry I didn't bother to find out the real deal between you and Sakura. It was odd, you know?"

"I can imagine."

"Please."

"Please what?"

"Please don't get Sakura involved in this." Ino tucked her long bangs behind her right ear. "I mean, you're friends again and it's less complicated without her. Just leave her alone, okay? Promise me."

The letter I had written maintained a ghostly presence on the tip of my fingers. The fashion in which I wrote the S in her name and described her laughter as the 'exact epitome of hope' was filled with a sentiment I had never felt in my life.

"I promise," I said.

"So are we good? The two of us?"

I spread my arms. She jumped to me and I wraped my arms around her waist to keep her on her toes. We enveloped each other as friends, never as lovers. A sense of peace settled inside of me. It stretched as she flattened her feet on the ground and left me by myself, in this room, with that book, guessing what the future would be like without the person I loved.

And then I thought of Sakura again.

It seemed every loss led back to her.

And I would never know the reason.

**Ino:**

I tried not to cry. It was so difficult to lie to someone I loved. Uncle Shikaku nodded at me from the end of the hall as I closed the door shut behind me, creating the necessary distance between Shikamaru and I. There was something honest in his nod, as though he understood that I had felt a special affection for his heir.

My job was done, I could hear him think. I bowed my head and went the other way; out the front door and to the alley around the block where Kakashi and Neji were waiting for me.

They were talking quietly inside the shadow of the alley and did not stop when they saw me. I entered the gloom of this isolated corner of Konoha and said, "Shikamaru will ask his dad. I'm sure."

"That's half the battle." Kakashi tucked his Icha Icha book in the front pocket of his flak jacket. "And to answer your question, Neji – no, the Fifth will not permit any event to force us to confess the rebirth case to Sakura and Shikamaru."

"Because that would be unhealthy," I interjected.

Neji looked at me, at last. His hair caught sunlight even from where he stood. "Erasing the memory can only heal the scars that the rebirth left on the soul – whatever that could really mean. That's what Hiroshi said. Telling Shikamaru the truth would help in many ways, one in motivating him to fight for his place as heir because he injured himself in his many attempts to save Konoha and second, to hasten the solving of the case."

"The Fifth doesn't want to because she's afraid Shikamaru will backfire."

My jaws clenched. When still my left eye twitched with the effort to suppress my tears, I exhaled loudly and blurted that Shikamaru had a stubborn mind and he'd find a way to unearth hidden passages to his past regardless of the side-effects that stupid venture would have.

I wiped my eyes with the bottom of my palm and stepped sideways to allow the light to blur my facial features. "Kakashi and the Fifth's viewpoints are precise and we should follow them. There's enough going on as it is. We don't need an interlude of drama to witness Sakura and Shikamaru hug and kiss and apologize for their choices. They chose to go through with the mind infiltration. Nobody forced them."

The men were silent for a while. Kakashi sighed to cut the awkwardness of my emotional speech. "Plus, there's a Yei Hano that is supposed to be capable of helping demystify the case once and for all."

I snap my head towards him. "Who's Yei Hano?"

"She's Shikamaru's future wife," Neji replied. "Mr. Shikaku has a certain fondness and trust for the woman. Nobody's ever heard of her."

"I have."

"You have, Kakashi?"

"Yes." He shrugged, a smirk forming behind his mask. "Shikaku made me his entourage during a meeting with his clan about...well, I can't tell you. Anyway, Yei Hano will come as a surprise to you. I don't think Shikaku wants Shikamaru to find out it's Yei Hano he'll be partnered with. He said something about preventing a violent reaction that will hinder the smooth progress of his plan."

"It's safe to say Shikamaru already knows the character of his fiancé."

"She's not utterly disagreeable."

"I bet my two front teeth that she's manic." I scoffed. "Clan guard. She's going to be scarred and twice Shikamaru's size. Am I right, Kakashi?"

Before Kakashi could answer, Sakura stomped past our alley with an envelope crumpled in her right fist and her mouth twisted and her brows knitted together. Naruto trailed behind her, hollering that she slowed down and think twice about attacking Lady Tsunade.

Neji adjusted the knapsack over his shoulder. "Who wants to help me save the Hokage Tower from her destructive force?"


	7. Chapter Six

**Fingers around My Toes**

**By Lapiz Liberty**

**Summary: **Shikamaru and Sakura ended the rebirth case with the conviction that they have lost each other once and for all. As Tsunade stitches that case close, Orochimaru greets them with a surprise that will force the former lovers to beat the odds a second time – whether they remember their past or not.

* * *

**Chapter Six:**

**Sakura:**

"I don't understand!" I panted, and I panted hard. The Hokage's office was swirling with a grey fog that tempted me to collapse. My legs trembled. The ground swayed beneath me. I felt weightless – so faint that I could not feel the blood flowing in my veins like I normally could – nevertheless I remained standing and absorbing the expression on Lady Tsunade's face.

Nothing. She expressed nothing.

She flicked aside the blue paper and envelope sent to me by the officials of this year's Jounin Exams. They joined the heap of documents on the farther right side of her desk. Still, her face revealed no trace of worry. "They sent me a similar report yesterday evening." She yawned. "I reviewed the charges they're filing against you – well, Shizune did and she shared her insight with me this morning – and I dare say they're rather...interesting."

"Interesting?" I shouted.

Naruto gripped my left arm to keep me a safe distance from the Fifth. "Sakura, c'mon, I'm sure this is all a big misunderstanding! Suna must have gotten you mixed up with another chic – er, girl – who joined the exams! Right! Aint that possible, grandma?"

Ino nodded at me, her bangs bouncing. "It's a mix-up, Sakura. Stop acting like the world's fallen over you."

"That's not possible." She rubbed her eyes and leaned back on her chair. It squeaked twice. "Sakura – "

"After everything I've done-!" I stopped and lowered my head. My hair fell over my large forehead, but with its current length it could not to shield my eyes from their scrutiny. My eyes and their tears. This wasn't sadness, I knew. This was exhaustion. "...All I wanted was to become a jounin. What are these charges for? Are they going to hide behind the excuse of 'precaution' because they know I'm capable of cheating the medical examination and abuse my body with just any performance enhancing drug? That I'm so proud of my achievements that I'll belittle the honour of the qualifying tests by taking a short-cut to my promotion? Is that it?"

"Sakura." Naruto's grip loosened. He looked at the Fifth, expecting an answer on his behalf.

Shizune took the blue paper and inserted it inside the envelope. "Neji, you and Kurenai will be receiving a copy of the same letter since you were the examinees' guardians. Both of you are involved in this."

Neji stepped forward and asked for the envelope. I peered at him from the corner of my eye. He unfolded the letter and glanced at its contents once. "It seems I'll be the one to file a demand letter to Suna for them to surrender the writings on their evidence against Sakura."

"You signed the result of her medical examination?" asked Lady Tsunade.

"I was the one available at that time." He smoothed the envelope and turned to face me. "I'll update you once I have their response. Stop sulking. This will be fixed."

"See!" Ino slapped my back.

"Neji will help you." Naruto faked a cough and muttered, "If his help will really help."

"I heard you, Naruto."

"Hehe, kidding, Neji!"

"How soon?" I asked the Fifth. My heart pounded my chest and my ribs and my throat pulsated with its rhythm. Everything inside me ached at this rejection. Rejection.

She squinted to study the ceiling, as though she had an invisible calendar of the future pinned there. "You'd be lucky if you make it to the proclamation ceremony. Neji's right, though – this will be fixed. We all know you didn't use any performance enhancing drug. You didn't, did you?"

My mind went blank. Whether she meant it as a joke or a solid query, the uncertainty behind her intonation triggered an explosion in my head that darkened whatever silver lining I had remaining in my thoughts. I felt my limbs go numb in anger. I looked her in the eyes and said, "We'll find out, won't we?"

I stomped out of her office. Nobody tried to stop me.

**Shikamaru:**

I re-fastened the ankle weights, stood, and jumped three times to test my litheness. The wooden floor thudded with my weight. Satisfied, I slipped on my sandals and grabbed the three rolls of bandages on my desk. I tried to ignore the cigarette in the middle of my bed.

In truth, I tried to ignore Asuma.

Regaining my physical stamina required me to master tactics and manoeuvres that Asuma had so patiently taught me as an awkward teenager. While he could put up a fight with Kakashi, he wasn't nearly as strict. He'd pause long enough to allow me to steady my breaths; Kakashi would wait until I was dull before he'd stand back to give me the chance to feel my lungs. Asuma would force me to vocalize my observations and inquiries; Kakashi would expect immediate application of his lessons on the following round.

It wasn't that I couldn't keep pace with the use of my mind and body at the same time; my problem lay mainly in my lack of confidence with my physique. Could my arms and hands deliver the actions that my mind had envisioned? Could my feet lead me to my supposed destination fast enough? These were questions that, for now, fell to the negative more often than I dared wish they would.

This training session would be different. I would move beyond Kakashi's syllabus and prepare for our sparring tomorrow.

What a drag.

I climbed down the stairs and jogged to the kitchen to fill my canteen with cold water. As I passed the drawing room and rounded the curve that led to the west wing of our house, I heard a melody drift in the atmosphere. The hoarse voice clarified the deeper I dwelt in the corridors. My thoughts filled with dad's face – an aged and sharp collection of muscles and flesh plastered on bones which became the very model for my own features.

I could remember the two of us strolling in our forest, racing each other to the first deer that came into view. I had tripped often, and he'd distracted my from crying by singing an ancient family hymn. He'd spit on the red herb – it would always be that spiky red herb he'd use on me – and layer it over the bleeding wound on my leg.

Peering inside the library, I saw dad sitting on the green cushion while carving the Nara family insignia on Yutsuki's box. Yutsuki, on the other hand, was waddling across the room, chasing the fly's shadow instead of the fly itself.

Mum said I was three years old when I first bothered to chase shadows. Now I could see why dad believed Yutsuki to be more gifted in shadow manipulation than I ever would be.

Dad hushed his singing, stealing my attention once more. He unfolded his left leg from beneath him and tapped the tattoo around his ankle. Yutsuki stumbled on the floor, thinking she could stop the shadow by sitting on it, and bobbed her little head behind her to see him.

She pointed at the door, directly at me. "Shikaaaa!"

Dad put down the box and the carving materials. "Enter, Shikamaru."

I pushed aside the sliding door and slipped in. Yutsuki crawled to dad and wrapped her fingers around his tattooed ankle, giggling. I poked her cheek. "She's getting used to the tattoo."

"So quick, this girl." Shikaku wrapped the chisels and knives with a leather cloth and transferred it beside him, away from Yutsuki's reach. "I always thought that I'd be imprinting that tattoo on my little boy. But what was the use? You barely rolled on your crib."

"You think that will keep her from getting into trouble?"

"One of the many reasons I tattooed her to me."

"Oh. Right." I hefted Yutsuki from the floor and sat her on my lap. "She's more sensitive to shadows than I'll ever be. Might as well make her the heir."

"If that's possible, I would have proposed it already."

"I'd have agreed without hesitation."

Dad lifted his eyes to me to contemplate my expression. I snickered and said, "I'm kidding. I want this position. Don't mind what I say. Body and mind coordination won't be my forte for at least a year."

"She feels my presence."

"She?"

"Your little sister."

I blew into her right ear. She giggled and elbowed my chest. "You mean to say that the tattoo works two-ways for you?" I said.

He grazed his forefinger over her ankle, on the black ink sprawled below a layer of baby fat. "I play tag with her. She finds me every time. It doesn't matter where we play tag. She finds me. For a child to understand and accept chakra at such a young age is...not unheard of because I was just as excellent. Ha!"

"Seriously, dad," I mumbled. "Aren't you putting too much pressure on her? She's gifted but it doesn't mean you can steal her childhood from her."

"I'm not."

"You tattooed her."

"It was so I could track her down when she wanders in the house unaccompanied."

"You never thought she'd respond to your chakra?"

"To be specific, she responds to my shadow."

Yutsuki embraced my arm and hid her face on my sleeve. I tapped her back lightly. "Okay..."

"I still can't predict the scope of her potential." He upturned the box. The sunlight behind him filled the depth of the engravings on the wood. "Your mother will be tracking her progress. Allowing Yutsuki to continue discovering shadows on her own will be dangerous. Michio exhibited similar as a child. I can't begin to imagine what jutsu hit him to switch on his sanity."

"Yutsuki won't go mad. She simply needs guidance."

"Guidance – yes. She'll help your mother track me in the right pub if I don't get her allegiance first."

"It's your fault you tattooed her."

"Well."

I sighed, and as my body relaxed, so did Yutsuki's. She yawned and opened one eye to check on me. I shook my head at dad. "Speaking of shadows and jutsus, I have something to confess and you so do you. It's about the letter I found in your office – "

"That time you snuck in and rummaged my belongings?" he said.

I scowled. "You know why I had to do that. But there's something entirely different I want to talk about. I found a letter, dad – a letter I wrote."

"Here we go..."

"Why did I write as such about Sakura Haruno? Did...did she and I have a relationship that the amnesia took away from us?"

He clutched his knee and inched himself upwards until he was standing on both feet. With a twist to the left and the right to flex his joints, he strode to the table and picked up his pipe. He struck a match against the wood and focused the flame on the pipe's mouth. "I wasn't happy about it. You're my heir. You knew you couldn't pick just any girl from the crowd. Sakura is special, yes, but she won't fit into the clan. The fate she has chosen to walk differs from yours. She is not one to be subjugated to law and male authority like your mother – as capable as she was in her active years – had allowed herself to be."

I closed my eyes. There was blackness in the confines of my skull and no memory of her.

"Besides," Shikaku continued, blowing smoke rings towards the open window. "You were in love with her to the point that you'd risk everything for her. A relationship kept in secret and overwhelmed with stupid choices – I stopped it before it turned into something worse. Shikamaru, I won't tolerate you entertaining any other girl once your fiancé arrives, are we clear? And you already broke Sakura Haruno's heart once. Don't do it again."

Transferring Yutsuki to the nearest cushion, I straightened my clothes and excused myself.

I still had to train.

**Sakura: **

Word of this would get out, I thought as I returned to the nurse's station in the main hall of the hospital. Eiko and Nanami shuffled out of my radius the second they heard the snap of my footfalls. Isas swung the swivel chair towards me and threw a crumpled piece of paper to my head. "Bad day, Sakura?" he laughed.

"Horrible." I opened and closed the file drawers, pretending to search for something when all that my mind could process were the words in that stupid letter from Suna. Isas offered to help me search but I dismissed him with a wave of my hand.

I pulled open a drawer. It fell off. I leapt away in time to evade it. This rusty, metal box hit the floor with a clangour so loud that all heads in the main hall stopped to glance at the nurse's station. Folder after folder mounted before my feet. Paper clips slid off the documents. Patient's pictures floated off their respective medical charts.

Isas whistled. "You really meant it when you said you're having a horrible day."

A hand slammed on the table, making him jump.

"You're the least helpful person, Isas." Ino rounded the circular desk of the station and shook her head at the mess I'd created.

I stared at the gap between my toes and the nearest document. No man's land. Me and work and the non-existent line that separated me from my duties. The stress continued to build inside me. "What do you want, Ino?" I grumbled.

She kicked one of the folders. "Lady Tsunade said you should take the next three days off work."

"I can't."

"You won't because work is all that matters to you," she said, low enough not to be overheard by the waiting line in the registrars and the cashiers. "Get a life, forehead. You didn't use whatever drug they think you used. We'll prove it and you'll be promoted the same day the rest of us do, okay?"

"Ino..."

"Isas, quit idling in your chair and fix this!" She pointed at the mess. "No wonder your girlfriend left you! You're gaining too much wait because of your laziness!"

Isas sobbed. He opened his mouth to reply but was stopped, his attention now drawn to the hospital entrance. I craned my neck to see. The hairs on my nape rose, coursing my body with a shiver that I only experienced in the battlefield. Sweat lingered on my forehead.

Why had my body tensed?

Neji slipped past the double doors and walked in our direction. He stopped a few feet behind me and glimpsed Ino and Isas first. "May I excuse Sakura?" he said.

Ino folded her arms across her chest. She cocked her eyebrow at me. "Sure. Take her away from here. She needs the distraction."

"Thank you." He turned to leave. "Let's go, Sakura."

I slapped Ino's arm before jogging to catch up with him. Once out of the hospital, I lifted my hand over my eyes to block the sun. I inquired of his agenda for wanting to talk to me despite knowing it was about the charges Suna was filing. I simply needed to hear it from his mouth – test whether the way he'd answer me would reveal whether he believed the Sand's lies.

It was not until we reached the hospital gates that he replied.

"Take a break," he said, lifting his own hand to shield his eyes from sunlight. "I can't work with you in counteracting Suna's charges unless you're calm and useful."

"_Excuse me_?"

Neji scratched his neck. "Well rested and insightful is what I meant."

The goose-bumps on my arms would not fade. I rubbed them to warm myself. "I'm sorry," I said. "The news just...it was just so unexpected that I didn't know how to properly react to it. I'm tired from hospital duty and the exhaustion from the exams is just beginning to wear off and it would have been nice to – I'm sorry. Yes, you're right. I'll take a break and we'll discuss this further once we have a response from Suna regarding the evidences they have against me – whatever those are. I can barely guess."

"This is not your fault, Sakura."

I wrinkled my nose to stop the tears.

His lips parted and he gaped at me. I pressed my thumb and forefinger on the inner corners of my eyes to suppress the sting. He reached his hand out, a handkerchief on his palm. I shook my head and mumbled a 'no, thank you' but this only forced him to press the folded, white cloth against my cheek. His fingertips touched my skin, stealing the heat of anger from me.

"Crying doesn't suit you," he whispered.

I took the handkerchief by the edge and wiped my other eye with it. I sniffed. "This will be returned good as new, I promise."

"I don't mind." He smiled a little. "You might need it."

I scanned the hospital grounds for onlookers. The old men and women in their recovery rooms stood in front of their window, spying on me. Mr. Ueda waved. I motioned for him to return to his bed and I turned my back on the hospital. "I didn't use performance enhancing drugs, Neji. I swear."

"I'm certain."

"...You are?"

"You don't need to use them. You're brutally strong by nature."

"Thanks, I guess."

"I'll be restarting my acupressure therapy again tomorrow. I better not see you in the hospital." He tilted his head to the right and scratched his neck again. "Go back to your place and rest. Promise me you'll rest, Sakura. You are lacking of it so much that even I am beginning to worry for your health."

"Sure." I couldn't help but glimpse the area he was scratching. Beneath his nails was atender spot of pink flesh where a scar had recently vanished. It must be irritating because he kept it covered for a long time. I nodded and attempted my best smile. "Promise. Thanks."

I returned to my apartment. The murk in this place suffocated me. In my head there was a chanting: not good enough. Alone. Alone. I felt the word 'rejection' rising on my forehead, the curve of every letter forming wide for the world to see.

The goose-bumps on my arms had gone. I reached for the blanket on my couch – an article in the living room that I couldn't remember finding the use of – and draped it around my shoulders. I mopped my face with Neji's handkerchief.

Damn it. I, Sakura Haruno, published the Reservoir Treatment. I had incurred a special case of amnesia. I had been forced to relearn complex ninjutsus for the Jounin Exams. I did well in those exams. Wasn't the world going to give me a break?

I stifled a scream, stomped my left foot thrice, and surged into my bedroom to collect my gloves and the rest of my gear.

Destination in mind: Third Training Ground.

**Shikamaru: **

The dark clouds weren't there before. Only a few seconds ago, the sky had been perfect with the passing of plump, white clouds with tendrils that morphed them into various objects. They stimulated my imagination the way they did before – a taste of normalcy that I was grateful for.

The one right above me reflected a knife, then a scroll, then a house, then a leaf, and then a solid ring. I thought of a wedding ring. The next was not an object; it was a girl made of condensed water. She turned sideways, and on her body was a kimono that trailed behind her heels.

She drifted past me and then the thunderclouds arrived. They rolled like sand poured on a table – messy. Disorganized. Dominating.

Still, I lay on the ground, my body melting into the grooves of the earth and proposing oneness with it. This was often how I felt after exhausting myself in training. The slow motion of the world always managed to relax me enough to pitch me back to my senses.

The first of the many thunderstorm winds blew, drying the sweat on my skin and on my clothes.

Bed. Go home. Right. I better go home.

I sat. The ground shook. I clutched the grass and concentrated on the quaking. The force rippled on the soil from somewhere behind me. Earthquake? No. This great strength affected the surface of the ground and cracked it in a manner different from natural earthquakes.

If I were to speculate based on experience, this was an effect of pressure applied from above and not below. The dirt beneath my palms fell as I shook my hands in the air. Massive underground waves continued to surge inside the earth to where I sat.

I waited for another round of quaking. There weren't any. The world calmed. The grass danced again, happy that the horror was quite done now. Standing, I dusted my khakis and advanced northwards to where the epicentre must be situated.

Naruto's Rasengan was incapable of producing peace minutes after it blew up; it was so powerful that the dispersing chakra would oftentimes be choking.

Like second-hand smoking, I thought.

I walked past the trees, touching their trunks as I passed them and scanned the area ahead. At first there was nothing but level ground and taller grass. Shadows loomed from the thunderclouds. Light scattered in every direction where the darkness would have a harder time reaching them.

As I got closer I saw a curve of brown line on the middle of the clearing. It opened like a mouth and revealed a crater.

I tucked my hands in my pockets and stepped onto its lip. Curiosity dissolved from me. I drank in the situation the way mum taught me the proper way of drinking my tea in front of the Pillars; with my back straight and my thoughts clear and my heart calm. Dismiss the panic regardless of the people at stake in the crises. Find a solution.

Sakura sat on the centre of the earth, curled in a ball. She tightened her embrace around her legs, as though her body was attempting to fit into an invisible container. Her whimpers reached me.

I formulated a question: Sakura, what's wrong? Another question: do you have any idea of what we've done to each other last year?

My voice could not deliver these queries. Instead I gawked at the sight of her, as stupid as the Pillars believed I always were.

"Leave me alone, Shikamaru," she grumbled. The crater echoed her words and I heared her.

My left foot scraped the ground when it moved backward. As I turned on my heel, I felt a raindrop crash on my head. Another skidded past my cheek. Another one. Another one.

I returned to the lip of the crater and said, "Oi, it's raining. You'll be flooded in there and drown."

She did not respond. She remained motionless.

I sighed and glanced up at the sky. The white clouds had long been engulfed by the grey ones. Thunder roared. Lighting flashed a bright zigzag across the growing darkness.

I jumped into the crater, keeping my knees bent and grazing my fingers on its wall to guide my descent.

She ducked her head lower. I crouched beside her and put my hand over her head.

"Sakura," I hissed. "It's raining. You'll get sick. C'mon, whatever the problem is, we can talk about it elsewhere. It's gonna be fine. Hello? Anybody in there?"

She sniffed. "I'm just tired, Shikamaru."

I lifted my other arm to shield her. The rain poured. "So let's go," I said.

But she wouldn't move. I thought it would be the least opportune moment for me to catch a cold, but I could not imagine myself leaving Sakura alone in her despondent state. I scooted closer, trying to figure out the best angle of my arms to spare her from the rain.

In the midst of the foul odour steaming from the earth, I found her scent and inhaled it. Cherry blossoms. Freshly bloomed. Her whimpers interrupted my analogy and it struck me that she must be the saddest bloom of the season.

She shuddered. She snapped her head towards the sky, her left arm jerking upwards to cover herself. Her forearm collided with mine. She gasped, finally realizing that I was sheltering her.

Where our bare flesh touched, I felt the coldness of familiarity.


	8. Chapter Seven

**Fingers around My Toes**

**By ****Lapiz Liberty**

**Summary: **Shikamaru and Sakura ended the rebirth case with the conviction that they have lost each other once and for all. As Tsunade stitches that case close, Orochimaru greets them with a surprise that will force the former lovers to beat the odds a second time – whether they remember their past or not.

**Author's Note:**Switched pen names to Lapiz Liberty because I had to separate this account from all my other accounts with those that already have LibertyS.S for a pseudonym. No worries; this is still me. I'm sorry for the confusion. Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter Seven:**

**Shikamaru:**

She slapped her hand on the space beside the pantry cabinet and found the switch. It flicked upwards with a 'click' and activated the light bulb at the centre of the living room. Sakura stepped aside to let me pass through her front door.

I rubbed my arms as I entered, pretending I was too preoccupied with warming myself to inspect her apartment. She closed the door behind me, kicked off her boots, and jogged to the room to our right. She yelled, "Lose your clothes!"

"What?"

"I'll hang them on the balcony to dry!"

I walked across her living room and pried the floor-length curtains apart to peek outside. The cement of her balcony had regained its grey hue, albeit there were still dark shades lingering where the wind had failed to carry the rainwater away.

Sakura's footsteps were light. She appeared next to me with a bundle of towels in her arms. I grabbed one and buried my face in it first.

She draped another over my shoulders. "Heater's dysfunctional. Sorry."

My nose itched. I sneezed. She doubled backwards.

"Sorry." Sniffing, I rubbed my neck dry and swallowed. "I can just go home and explain to them, you know. You don't have to fix me."

"You're not broken," she said while squeezing the water out of her hair.

I scoffed. "Say that to the Pillars. They think I'm good for nothing."

"Lose your clothes!"

"Why are you yelling?"

"You're just like Naruto – you can be difficult to instruct sometimes. If you don't get out of those clothes soon, you'll catch a cold and then a fever and it'll be my fault why you'll have to postpone your training."

"Fine. Calm down." I pressed my fingers against my palm to force the blood to circulate. When I could feel them again, I fumbled with the buttons of my jacket. The weights I had inserted in the pockets urged me to collapse. I paused, lifted my eyes, and found her staring at the buttons.

"Uhm...Sakura? You don't have to watch me undress. I have every intention of drying up."

She jerked awake. "I wasn't watching you!"

"Then you were staring in mid-air." I shrugged. "Why don't you get into some dry clothes and we'll talk about the charges Suna filed? C'mon, I'm stuck here anyway until my sandals stop squeaking and my pants stop dripping."

Sakura bit her lower lip. She waddled around and into her bedroom, leaving the door half shut.

I turned around to avoid seeing her naked and slipped off my jacket and my shirt. They fell to the floor, bleeding water to create a puddle. Scanning the apartment, I realized that the only bathroom must be in her bedroom.

I sighed and tiptoed fast behind the kitchen counter. There I pulled down my khakis with my boxers and fit myself into the navy sweatpants I had mistaken earlier for a shirt when I was packing my knapsack.

For the first time, I was glad I made a mistake.

Sakura sneezed. I tightened the lace of the sweatpants around my waste, kick my wet clothes inside the knapsack, and returned to the farther side of the living room. She emerged from the bedroom wearing a purple sleeveless dress and black leggings.

I collected my clothes from the floor and pointed at the balcony. "I'll hang them."

"Sure. Tea? Hot cocoa? Beer?"

"Not allowed to drink yet."

"What will you have, then?"

"Hot cocoa."

"Two mugs of hot cocoa coming up."

I unlocked the glass sliding doors and entered the balcony. The wind slapped against my body. I shivered. "It's cold out here!"

"Yeah? Is the wind strong enough?"

"It will do."

I found a clothesline overhead. Pinning my tunic and my khakis up, I extracted my boxers from the knapsack and hung it on the railing. I knotted the top right corner to the lower left corner to prevent it from flying away. The last thing I wanted was to flaunt my boxers on the balcony of a girl's apartment. Enough rumours had been spread about me.

I wrapped the towel around my back as I joined Sakura inside. She rounded the couch and extended a mug to me. "Sorry for getting you drenched. And thank you for dragging me to my senses. It's embarrassing, really, but I'm glad you were there."

My fingers enclosed the mug without touching her. "You would have gotten anyone worried."

"I...didn't know how to react. I guess I got used to venting my anger through sparring instead of meaningful talk. How dumb of me."

"We're all prone to that. Don't be too harsh on yourself, Sakura."

"Am I?" She sat on the floor and leaned against the back of the couch, her bare feet facing the balcony. "Ino and Neji told me so, too. I didn't want to believe them."

I sat beside her – not too close because Shikaku's warnings still haunted me. He'd chop my head off the second he discovered I was with Sakura. What was I to do, though? She was my friend – if barely – before she was my forgotten paramour.

I sipped the cocoa, the steam warming my cheeks. "Ino called you a workaholic but don't tell her I told you that. I don't think she meant it as an insult. I think she means you're just...exerting too much energy on one thing. It'll wear you out and kind of mess with your head in the battlefield. Rest is crucial."

"Battlefield? I won't be seeing any battlefield soon."

"You're being pessimistic."

"I brought honour to Konoha and to the medical field and you think if I'm upset now I'm pessimistic?"

"I'm a pessimist – I know one when I hear one."

She slapped her forehead and exhaled. "Look, I just want a little appreciation or gratitude or whatever - especially from Suna! Not that I'm implying I'm superior to any of my fellow examinees but it's obvious that I did their village a favour and that I have no need for performance enhancing drugs to defeat that limping idiot who kept pitching toothpicks at me during the final battle!"

I chocked on my beverage. My scalded throat numbed. I coughed and rubbed my chest. She asked me if I was okay. I nodded and said, "Toothpicks?"

"I have no idea what I'm supposed to call those metal sticks."

"Needles?"

"Do you think I'd pass for a medic if I couldn't tell a needle from an enhanced toothpick?"

"Is it poisoned?"

"It's a toothpick!" she said, folding her legs beneath her as she turned to face me. "The entire battle I was searching for a reflective surface to see whether I annoyed him with something stuck between my front teeth!"

I put down the mug and laughed. Tears spilled from the corners of my eyes. I waved my hand to signal that it wasn't her I was laughing at. She continued to glower at me. I swallowed and wiped my eyes with the back of my hand. "Have you considered the possibility that your strange antic made the judges think that you were high on some drug?"

She gasped. "It's a set-up!"

"They planted an odd shinobi with odd skills to fight you in the final rounds and infect you with his oddness so the judges will find you odd."

"He switched our medical results!"

"He's really the one who used performance enhancing drugs because he wasn't sure he could hit you with toothpicks."

"Actually, I'm not sure if he's really a boy..."

"Then it's a girl who's jealous because you can do more than toss toothpicks."

"And she has terrible, terrible hair! Plus she'd do this face – " Sakura widened her eyes and curled her lip so that only her lower set of teeth were visible. " – and half the time I was wondering whether she was having stroke! Don't laugh, Shikamaru! I'm serious!"

I covered my mouth but I could not suppress it. She punched my arm and laughed, permitting me to release my glee at last. Her cheeks blazed a bright red and her eyes welled. I embraced my abdomen. Its muscles there were beginning to ache.

Sakura ran a towel over her eyes and announced that she was getting beer.

I managed to calm myself enough to finish my hot cocoa. "That thing with Suna will be over soon, Sakura. You shouldn't over-think it."

"Yeah. I have no choice but to confront the damn charges anyway." She returned to her spot with seven bottles of beer. "Might as well do it with as much grace as possible."

"Damn I want some."

"Sorry, Pal." She uncapped a bottle and raised it towards me. "You're recuperating. I'm on a train ride to a place called 'No Cares' and nothing's going to stop me."

I pulled my right knee to my chest and glimpsed her. The wind poured from the balcony and swept past us, blowing up the skirt of her dress and brushing back her hair from her face. The dimness in her eyes arrested my attention, and I wondered whether the amnesia played a part in her melodramatic episode.

"Sakura...you're really upset, aren't you?" I said.

She smiled at the dancing curtains in front of us. "Mom and dad are getting their lives together. The feudal lord likes them for company. It wouldn't have been right for me to stop them just because I'm selfish and I still need them in times like this."

"How do you keep in touch?"

"Letters, mostly. Can't visit them. They're too fuckin' far away..." Sobbing, she pressed her knuckles against her nose and breathed deep. "It's okay. I'm okay. Life's not meant to be fair."

"I know that."

"Shikamaru?"

"Yeah?"

"Would you mind if I ask if you're okay?"

"No."

"Are you okay?"

"No." I ran my hand across my hair and sighed. Images of home returned to me. "If I don't recover soon, I might be forced to marry a stranger from our clan. I'll be the damsel with the brain and she, the knight with a ribbon on her braided hair. I'll be the eternal laughingstock of humanity and you'll be sneaking beer in my house to prevent my inevitable suicide. How sad."

"You won't commit suicide." She elbowed my arm. "You only have to let us help you. I know I'm not the best example of that right now but I don't make it any less true. The gang's not complete without you, Shikamaru. Married or not, jounin or not, chief or not, you'll always be one of us – an important player."

"And financier."

"And financier."

She moved to her fourth bottle. "Whoever this girl you're marrying is, I'm sure she'll be the luckiest bride in the history of your clan. You're the only guy I know who would have put up with me in this state without taking advantage of my emotional vulnerability – well, except for Naruto. If you don't become lovers, you'll be best friends. I'll bet my promotion on it."

I snatched the nearest bottle. Shikaku said my relationship with her had been unhealthy.

Sakura seized my wrist. "You shouldn't drink, Shikamaru."

"Just one." I yanked myself free and uncapped the bottle. "Please? Your little speech is too sobering. I need a dose of madness in order to last the Pillars' visit tomorrow."

"And your training with Kakashi?"

"Early morning."

"I'm not responsible if you get tipsy."

"It's one bottle, Sakura."

She finished her sixth bottle. "Hey, have you told Ino?"

The beer settled in my stomach and exuded warmth to my chest, eliminating the cold stuck to my skin. "I can never be happier that we didn't become a couple. Can you imagine involving her in politics? It'd be too dramatic for sanity."

"I don't even want to begin to imagine." Sakura wiped her reddening nose with the towel as she stood. "She'd be breaking into my apartment in the middle of the night to have someone listen to her rant. I mean, I love my best friend but she can be maddening sometimes. First, she'd be the ideal friend and then the next moment she'll be the ideal rival. It's like we're still children and competing for Sasuke's attention."

"Where are you going?"

"More beer."

"You've had enough, Sakura," I hollered after her. "My clothes are probably dry, too. I'll be leaving soon."

I heard her hiccup. Grabbing the couch for support, I stood and searched for her behind the kitchen counter. She dawdled in the gloom, finishing another bottle of beer and reaching for the refrigerator. She missed it by several feet.

"Hey, you're drunk." I tiptoed past the scattered bottles on the floor and hastened to her side.

She stumbled forward, hit her head on the edge of the pantry cabinet, and collapsed on the floor. I dove forward but failed to catch her. A footstool lay overturned next to her head. I knelt beside her, gawking. "Hey, Sakura! Are you okay? Are you hurt?"

She hiccupped and giggled. "Marriage, huh? At leash your have somebody to slay with you when you're deposited. Sasuke's got myself chasing afterward his shadow."

I felt the back of her head. She winced and clutched my bare shoulder. "Ouch!"

"You might have a concussion." I looked at her face, at the overturned stool and back at her. She must have collided with it on her fall. "Hey." I slapped her cheek. "Hey! Don't fall asleep!"

"Tell myself when mom and dad arrives at our home." She yawned. "Please?"

"You have a concussion!"

"Sleepish fine. Wake up thirty minutes and second to go two hours and then...I forget."

"I know, I know. Okay, what's your name? Tell me your name."

"Shikamaru." She giggled. "Ino. Choji. Naruto. Kiba. Akamaru. Shino. Neji. Sasuke. TenTen. Sai. Hinata. Tsunade!"

"Seriously, Sakura."

"Sakura?" She pouted. "You're taking myself to see the cherry blossoms at night? Are you in loving with me? I might vomit."

"Wake up!" I screamed at her face. "Sakura!"

"What?"

"C'mon." I wrapped my arms around her shoulders and thighs and transferred her to the couch. She rolled to her side and complained about a headache. Dressing in my freshly dried training clothes, I wrapped a blanket around her and carried her on my back, all the while attempting to understand how someone could get drunk so quickly. Medics truly were weird creatures.

She snuggled against my neck. "Are you taking me to see mom?"

"Unfortunately, no." I locked the balcony, grabbed the keys on the countertop, switched off the lights, and locked her apartment. She breathed onto my neck, making it difficult to focus on the task at hand. "Sakura, hey, wake up! Listen, you're an excellent medic so you have to understand what I'm about to explain in spite of your intoxicated state. Shit. I should have noticed how much you took in. This is my fault. Sakura! Hey, yeah, that's right, open your eyes. Listen. You have a concussion and you're drunk and you're falling asleep. I'll bring you to the hospital."

"No!" She wriggled on my back. "Please, no! Not there! N-not!"

Then I remembered Eiko and Nanami and the rest of the interns who made fun of her. This would not reflect nicely on her, too, especially with the charges filed by Suna. Adjusting her on my back, I cursed myself and said, "Okay. Shit. I'm taking you to my mother."


	9. Chapter Eight

**Fingers around My Toes**

**By Lapiz Liberty**

**Summary: **Shikamaru and Sakura ended the rebirth case with the conviction that they have lost each other once and for all. As Tsunade stitches that case close, Orochimaru greets them with a surprise that will force the former lovers to beat the odds a second time – whether they remember their past or not.

* * *

**Chapter Eight**

**Shikamaru:**

I travelled through the alleys to get from one block to another. The puddles and the gloom and the wind contested my determination to reach home. It wouldn't surprise me that even nature was questioning my sanity for wanting to risk my neck on Sakura's stead.

But I really couldn't take her to the hospital. My conscience could bear with dad and his paranoia but never would I be able to stomach hearing Eiko and Nanami backstabbing Sakura again – or any of my friends for that matter. It would be like kicking her off to the lion's den and wishing she'd return home without a scratch. The last thing Sakura needed were stupid girls laughing outside of her recovery room.

"Shikamaru?" she whispered in my ear.

I bent on my waist to push her further up my back. Her hands dangled over my shoulders. She breathed and her breath moistened my cheek. "What's up?" I said. "I told you to warn me if you're going to vomit. Well, are you?"

"Why are running away?"

"We're not running away, Sakura..."

"Moving." She coughed. "So faster."

I stepped sideways to avoid a heap of broken crates at the mouth of the alley. "Hey, let's talk about something interesting – anything to keep your brain working."

She lifted her chin from my shoulder. "You thinking my brain will stop working? _What_?"

"No, that's not what I meant. You know, something that will keep you talking so you don't fall asleep? I can't let you fall asleep, Sakura. Concussion, remember? It doesn't help that you're drunk." I jogged to the nearest alley. Two more to go and we'd be crossing the street to my house. "Okay, what do we talk about?"

"I'm not a drunkardness." She pressed her nose against my nape. I shivered and craned my neck. She drew circles on my skin with the tip of her nose.

"Sakura, stop that!"

"Tickles?" She giggled. "You smell nice. Is that sweat or cologne?"

Heat descended on my face. I adjusted her on my back and coughed, "Cologne."

I slowed my pace while passing through the last alley. Moonlight barely touched the narrow road we were coursing and the brick walls on either side of it. Her weight was suddenly unnoticeable, as though she had, in a matter of thirty minutes, managed to merge herself with my spine. The darkness could fool even the cleverest human.

She hooked her right arm around my neck and whispered, "You're better than Sasuke. You're here and he's not."

"Sasuke will be back with Team Seven."

"How'd you know?"

"Isn't it obvious? Naruto's spending every ounce of energy in reaching that destination."

"And I'm forever useless."

"You're not. You're simply more useful in other areas and it just so happens that you cater to more people and to more everyday battles than Naruto does," I said as we entered the main road of my district. Lampposts lined our path and vivified each estate. The cricket's sonnet filled the emptiness of the street and dulled the debate in my mind.

My stomach churned not out of hunger but out of fear. I felt a heart burn surfacing. I also felt the rising and falling of Sakura's chest against my spine.

"There's our chieftain!"

I leapt back into the alley and jerked to the right.

Uncly Toya raised his hand in greeting as he approached. His blew his bangs off the side of his face and smirked. "You've been up to something nasty, huh? At least she's cute. Although, if I can have my pick for you, I'd say you go with the blonde girl."

"It's not what it seems."

Sakura sneezed. "I think I have a concussion, Shikamaru."

"You do." I nodded at Uncle Toya. "She does."

"And you're taking her home with you? She's not suffering from a concussion and child-bearing, is she?"

"I'm pregnant?" Sakura gasped, clutching my shoulder and shaking it.

I wriggle to get her to stop. "Nobody's pregnant! Uncle, can you please be sympathetic and help me? I can explain when we're home. Right now priority is to get her treated. Please?"

"My mother will butcher me." Sakura buried her face in my hair. "Shikamaru, drown me in the river. I can't be having child in my tummy now."

Uncle Toya laughed aloud. "Alright, lad! Your house is this way!"

Of course, mum's reaction had no hint of amusement like her brother's had. She turned around the second I set foot in her kitchen, a litany of complaints impatient to roll off her tongue. She had a talent for sensing my presence; unlike dad, mum needed no tattoo to determine the exact number of centimetres that separated me from her. So I could say with confidence that I had predicted her reaction to my stunt. She'd bite her tongue, acknowledge the presence of the barely conscious girl behind me, and gauge whether she should smack me outright or wait for an explanation.

Uncle Toya merely waltzed to the refrigerator for a bottle of beer and raised it in the air. "Would your cute friend like some, our sweetest Shikamaru?"

Mum wiped her forehead with her sleeve and took a deep breath. Scowling at me, she lowered the tongs into the sink.

Her famous scowl was the first sign of an erupting temper – a temper that always resulted in my pain and nobody else's. Before she could release lava in the kitchen's atmosphere, I blurted, "She has a concussion and she's drunk and I have a very good reason for not taking her to the hospital and for goodness sake, mum, you know as well as I do that she's not pregnant because that's something Uncle Toya would do and not me and I have high respect for you and dad so can we please resist all melodramatic urges and focus on treating Sakura Haruno?"

Mum blinked once, twice, and sucked in a lungful of air. "Shikaku!"

"Mum!"

"Sit her on your chair." She undid the laces of her apron and shooed Uncle Toya from the refrigerator. "Start explaining like a real man once your father is in here."

I settled Sakura on my chair and pressed her shoulder against the backrest to keep her sitting straight. She gripped my hand and burped. Mum produced a cold compress and asked Sakura whether she felt the area in her head where she hurt the most.

"It's here." I pointed at the lower back of her head. Mum warned Sakura that the cold would shock her. I watched as the bag of ice touched her hair and traced the curve of her head. Sakura gasped and clutched my sleeve.

Mum replaced her hand on the cold compress with mine. "Shikaku!"

"I'm here." Dad stepped into the kitchen, rotating his shoulders and cursing his joints. His upcoming complaints about mum's yelling died the second he laid eyes on Sakura. He squinted at the cold compress. "What's wrong with her?"

Uncle Toya and I shared a glance.

"That's a surprise," he said. "I seriously thought he'd chase you, Shikamaru."

"Ah, uhm, c-concussion." I swallowed. I slapped my chest to bring out my voice. "D-drunkenness and concussion, nothing more. She was upset."

"About the Jounin Exams?"

"How do you know?"

"Neji came to me earlier with a question about formulating a demand letter to a foreign village."

"What's he got to do with this?"

"Why didn't you bring her to the hospital?"

"She'll look bad if anybody discovers that she got drunk and hurt herself."

"On purpose?"

"Of course not. She tripped. On level and stable ground."

"Shikamaru," Sakura hissed, scowling at her toes. "Your voice changed. And why do you have scars? Oh no! Did I hurt you?"

Dad lifted his chin and folded his arms across his chest. "Shikamaru, I won't believe you if you say that you so happen to come across her in a bar."

"I was in her apartment," I grumbled. "Look, dad, I was in the Third Training Ground before that, okay? I just finished training and I felt an earthquake and there she was, sulking in a crater of her own making. It started to rain, she needed a friend to talk to, and the rest is a very sad history that does not involve anything inappropriate. Stop grinning at me, uncle. It's not funny."

Uncle Toya sat next to Sakura and sipped his beer. "Don't mention pregnancy. It starts a riot."

Sakura plucked my fingers off her shoulder and twisted them. "I'm pregnant?"

"She's pregnant?" Mum gasped.

Dad put his hands on his waist, his eyes bulging out of their sockets as they focused on me.

"Nobody's pregnant! Didn't anybody listen to what I just said?" I knelt and transferred the strength of my legs to the task of slipping my numbing fingers away from Sakura's grasp. "It hurts! Let go!"

Mum caught the cold compress before it fell off her head. "Did the servants see her?"

"I scared them off our path," said uncle.

"Why are they here today, mum? Can't they start cleaning tomorrow?"

"The house is a mess." She ran her hands along the length of her hair, as though it was a reflection of our abode. "I'm tired and I needed their help. They're leaving the moment the Pillars leave. You know they don't approve of us living like common villagers."

"Ma, is that you?" Sakura grabbed mum's skirt.

I shook my fingers in the air to regain their blood circulation. Mum cocked her eyebrow at me. I tipped my head towards Sakura. She sighed and let Sakura embrace her waist. "Where's your parents, Sakura?" she cooed.

Dad snatched uncle's bottle of beer and consumed the rest of its contents. "They're in the company of the feudal lord. Lady Tsunade extended their stay there because the feudal lord found them extremely trustworthy."

"Hey." I poked Sakura's cheek. "Don't sleep."

She snapped her teeth at me, barely missing my forefinger.

Mum chuckled. "Yutsuki does that."

"Toya taught Yutsuki to do that," chirped dad.

Uncle rummaged the refrigerator for another bottle of beer. "I hate staying here for long. Shikaku's brain finds me an easy target when there's no puzzle to entertain his genius."

"You don't come close to attracting my genius, Toya."

"Shikaku, stop bullying my brother. He's helping us."

"But he teaches Yutsuki to draw on the walls of my study!"

"Toya, stop bullying my husband. This is his house." Mum picked up her sandals and pitched it at dad when he joined uncle in searching for beer. "Nobody will drink before dinner! I don't need drunken asses roaming this estate tomorrow when I've made such grand preparations for the meeting!"

"Yes, darling." Dad slogged to the pantry cabinet for a bag of raisins instead.

Sakura burped again. "Dad, why do you always let mum order you around like a puppy? And I thought you're a big man!"

"Sakura," I said. "They're my parents, not yours."

Dad closed the pantry cabinet and frowned at her. "I do not let a woman treat me like a puppy."

"He behaves like one because he's old and he believes I should take care of him the same way I take care of our children," mum told her.

"I am a big man!"

"Yes, you are, darling, yes you are."

I took Sakura's wrists and unfolded them from around my mother's waist. Her head fell back and the cold compress crashed on the floor. Lifting her from the chair, I announced that I was bringing her to the washroom in case she felt like vomiting. "After all, you, adults, are disappointing. I come in here seeking your assistance in handling my pained friend and what you do is bicker and search for intoxicating drinks. To make it up for your insufficiencies this evening, I expect no scolding for bringing a girl here."

Mum, dad, and Uncle Toya dawdled in their places, shooting glares at one another while the silence reigned. Uncle mumbled 'disappointing' to mum and dad. Yutsuki laughed from the adjacent room.

At last, dad raised his hands in surrender. "Shikamaru's right. We should set aside Shikamaru's punishment until Sakura's stable."

"Punishment?" I shrieked. "_What_?"

"We talked about _this_ earlier, Shikamaru." Dad collected the mortar and pestle. "I'll make herbal tea to combat her headaches and put her to peaceful sleep."

"Let's go, Shikamaru." Mum patted my shoulder as she walked past me and led the way to the washroom.

It occurred to me then that dad was serious when he said that he disapproved of Sakura. No, he disapproved of Sakura being so near to me. Our relationship had been unhealthy. Ino testified that I broke Sakura's heart. The amnesia did us a favour and restored our friendship.

Mum switched the light on. Sakura buried her face in my chest to hide from the flicking light. Mum pushed aside the shower curtain and pointed at the tub. "Set her down and watch over her while I fetch a kimono she can use. I don't like a girl that smells of alcohol."

"She's not the kind of girl." I placed one leg inside the tub and lowered her body there, careful with her head. Sitting on the tub's rim, I glanced at mum and said, "I'm sorry. I don't like her that way so you can stop worrying that I'll screw up my engagement. I won't. She's a friend. She's alone. She doesn't have her parents with her during hard times like I do. It just seemed unfair to me somehow."

Mum handed me the towels. She kissed the crown of my head. "I understand, sweetheart."

"You're not mad?"

She cupped my face. "Shikamaru, you have to understand that it's my job to worry. It's your father's job to be angry. Don't hold it against us. Parents see things that their children don't. I'll be back in a jiffy."

"I don't understand." I leaned down to insert the towel between her head the edge of the tub. "What does she see?"

Sakura did not respond. She simply stared at me.

**Shikaku:**

I twisted the cap on the jar until it was sealed tight. The torn Harini leaves inside it rustled as I slipped the jar to the back of the shelf. A bigger jar of spices inched forward, threatening to leap off the edge. I transferred it to the lower shelf where there were more space to accommodate it.

"Shikaku?"

"I'm here."

Yoshino kicked aside a box of broken jars, undoubtedly adding it to her mental list of things to dispose in the morning, and manoeuvred past the other boxes to reach me. I paused from crushing the petals of a primrose upon feeling her hand on my elbow.

"I'm not throwing a fit, Yoshino."

"Tell me my son has forgotten the rebirth case," she said.

"What?" I looked down at her. The darkness hid half of her face.

"He's attached to the girl, Shikaku. Don't you see?"

"Shikamaru didn't shy away from Naruto as a kid. I'm not alarmed that he's going through such measures to help a friend like Sakura."

"You're not alarmed? Since when did you start lying to me about these things?"

"Okay, I'm slightly alarmed. But Inoichi erased their memories. They don't remember. It's just an awkward twist of fate. Besides, if Sakura is getting herself into trouble because of a staged conundrum with her promotion, then I'll gladly help her. She doesn't deserve it but there's no other way to keep her safe."

"I'm not saying I don't like Sakura Haruno. I was looking forward to meeting the girl my son so willingly stabbed himself for." She folded the kimono and the obi in her arms and embraced them. "But not this way! You and the Fifth - "

"Lower your voice, Yoshino."

"You went too far by hindering her promotion. Tsk."

"The Fifth will go further in maintaining Shikamaru and Sakura's safety." I grabbed the wooden rod and used it to beat the herbs. "While that agenda persists, we have to make sure this is the first and last time they do something like this. I can't have them ogling at each other again – not yet."

"Not yet?" Yoshino kissed my shoulder and smiled at me. "And if they do fall in love by accident again? Will you deprive our son his happiness in exchange for his safety? You're more than just his commanding officer, Shikaku. You're his father. Just consider it."

I beat the herbs faster. The herbs morphed into a heap of maroon dust. "Neji will be arriving in a couple of minutes."

Yoshino stepped away from me. "What?"

"You heard me. Sakura's his responsibility now."

"I don't know what to say, Shikaku."

"I listened to my son." I dropped the rod into the mixing bowl and rubbed my eyes. "You know what Shikamaru told me before we erased their memories? He said he wanted Neji to take care of her. Our son understood the consequences of the solution we pursued two months ago. Don't argue me over this, Yoshino. We're all sure that I'm doing the right thing for those children's sake and for the sake of this sinking family."

Yoshino kicked the box of broken glass to the wall as she marched out of the room.

Neji arrived at our house later with the supposed intention of returning a set of documents to me and relaying a message from Lord Hiashi. Yoshino, regardless of her annoyance at me, could not bring herself to snob him. In the end, she was the one who spared me from Shikamaru's suspicions by telling Neji that Sakura was recuperating in our guest room.

The dread that dawned on his face was not something I had expected. He knew that I summoned him here because of Sakura. He knew I summoned him here to handle her. Still, it did not prevent his fright from surfacing when he witnessed her vomiting in the toilet bowl.

I didn't even think Shikamaru's proximity to her bothered him. It was pure dread that consumed Neji. There was no jealousy. There was only Sakura.

He dropped his knapsack on the floor and shooed Shikamaru from her side. Shikamaru, sensing his authority, retreated without question.

Neji wiped Sakura's mouth and carried her back to the guest room.

It pained me, somewhat, to listen to Shikamaru explain the situation again. I heard his shame in assuming that he had the ultimate right to take care of Sakura in her wretched state. He volunteered to guard her overnight and wake her up every two hours, but Neji reminded him that he had a meeting with the Pillars tomorrow.

"If you don't mind my staying here, I would be truly grateful," he told us. "Sakura is currently under my watch. I can't expect to counter Suna's charges if I don't make sure she recovers from this."

Yutsuki waddled into the guest room and laid her head on Sakura's leg. Yoshino hoisted our baby off the sleeping damsel. "You're a life-saver, Neji. We're busy with the preparations, you see."

"She has to finish a cup of that herbal tea every time you wake her up," I said.

"She'll not get in the way anymore." He rolled Sakura to her side and pressed the cold compress against the bump on the back of her head. Sakura mumbled Shikamaru's name.

Neji scratched his neck. "Go to sleep, Sakura."

"Shikamaru," she groaned. "I'm fright..."

"Frightened?" Shikamaru glimpsed me before he approached her. He knelt beside her futon. "There's plenty of us in the house. Neji's going to take care of you. What? Enemy? I can't understand what you're saying."

"Leave her be. Let her rest." Yoshino turned around and motioned for the rest of us to follow.

Shikamaru told Neji to wake him in case anything came up with Sakura. He left.

I couldn't speak to my son for the rest of the evening. While on my bed, staring at the ceiling, Yoshino whispered a question to me: was it possible for Shikamaru's heart to recognize Sakura even if the brain couldn't? Their ventures during the rebirth case had not been a simple case of boy liked girl and girl liked boy the same. It was a case of boy and girl sacrificing their lives for one another.

"The heart can't possibly forego something so strong," said Yoshino.

So I began to wonder.

In the morning, while Sakura apologized during breakfast, I continued to wonder. Yoshino and I made every effort to make her feel at home. We did not discuss this beforehand; perhaps there had been a tacit agreement between us last night that we were both guilty of toying with our son's circumstances. Sakura was the last to blame for the rebirth case and everything that came after.

Shikamaru did not appear for breakfast. He returned shortly after Yoshino was collecting the dirty dishes. He apologized that he told no one about his intention to jog the perimeter of the northern district.

"And your training with Kakashi?" I took Sakura's empty cup and filled it with the herbal tea I had brewed for her.

Toya stole the fish from my plate. "Isn't that the one with the red eye?"

"The Sharingan, brother," said Yoshino.

Shikamaru transferred Yutsuki from the floor to the table, still gasping for air. "He said the Fifth called him to attend to something confidential. For all I know, he's glad to be skipping this session. Sakura, are you feeling better?"

She jumped on her seat at the mention of her name. Droplets of tea skated down the cup in her hand. "Y-yes! Thank you. I-I don't know how to apologize for last night."

"Just..." Shikamaru sighed. "Don't do it again. You got us all worried."

"Neji?" Sakura shook his shoulder.

His head bobbed and his eyes shot open. "Yes, Sakura? Are you unwell?"

"You're falling asleep..."

"I'm not." He cleared his throat and straightened his posture. "I'm fine."

Yutsuki slapped her hand on the table where the shadow of Sakura's elbow was. I scooped my little girl in my arms and announced that the day had begun. Preparations for the meeting had to resume.

Yoshino yelled for Sakura and Neji to go to the kitchen. When Shikamaru complained about having her slave his friends around the house again, she retorted that cooking was an excellent recreation for tired minds.

"They're helping me," she said. "That's final."

I watched Sakura and Neji walk side by side to the kitchen, their strides in perfect accord and their arms nearly touching. I wondered whether Yoshino had decided that I was correct in concluding that Sakura and Shikamaru could not be together – not yet.

"Sakura," I called before she entered the kitchen.

She looked over her shoulder. "Yes, sir?"

"You mentioned something about an enemy last night."

"Pardon?"

"You mumbled that you were frightened of an enemy," I said, transferring Yutsuki to my right arm. "Do you think you're traumatized by a past experience? In the Jounin Exams, perhaps?"

"The toothpick man/woman." Shikamaru filled his bowl with rice.

Sakura chuckled. "Toothpick man/woman. You remember?"

"Was he/she traumatizing?"

"No, not at all. I do remember feeling uncomfortable right before I lost consciousness, though. I can't say why."

"That's normal," said Neji. "You had a concussion."

"Alright, hurry to Yoshino now or else she'll give me a beating." I returned to my seat. The remaining food in my plate failed to appeal to me. Yutsuki embraced my neck, hiding her face from the sunlight that penetrated the fish-paper of the sliding doors.

Had the Fifth excused Kakashi for an important task related to the rebirth case?

Shikamaru chewed the rice in his mouth and swallowed. "Trauma, huh? Must have been quite the battle."

**Sakura:**

I dipped my fingers into the bowl of oil and scooped the rice. Neji did the same with swiftness that I never could have imagined him to possess. Putting him in an apron was enough of a surprise today; realizing that he could be a much proficient cook than I was fell into a whole new level of astonishment...and embarrassment.

He must have noticed me scowling at the rice ball he was rotating in his palms because he paused and asked, "Am I doing it wrong?"

The sliver of doubt in his voice soothed me. "No," I said. "That's actually quite fine. You...do you spend time in the kitchen?"

"You mean to ask if I cook."

"Yeah, actually."

"Mrs. Nara has dragged me here enough times for me to gain adequate proficiency in preparing some of her dishes."

"You're here often?"

"I suppose you can say that."

Staring at the sticky rice in my hands, I glimpsed his work again and surrendered to my curiosity. "But you and Shikamaru don't seem close at all. You're rather formal with each other."

He glimpsed at my work as well. "He's not the..._reason_ I visit often. Mr. Nara helped me quite a lot last year. I do what I can to repay him."

"Last year, huh?"

"Did you listen to Mrs. Nara's instructions at all, Sakura?"

"Of course. Why?"

"That's poorly made." He encased my hands in his and allowed the rice ball to roll to his palms. Dropping it on his plate, he took my left hand and picked at the remaining rice stuck to my skin. I scraped my nails on my opposite palm to hasten the process. It wasn't at all that he held me too tight or I was offended by his high standards in cooking – which still came as a shock to me. To be honest, his touch was so gentle that I had to wonder how he could have killed so many men with the same pair of hands.

"Perhaps you should rest for a couple of minutes." He released me and pulled a chair from under the table. "You can join me again when I'm surrounding the rice balls with meat wrapped in edible leaves."

I sat. The soles of my feet pounded the same rhythm my head did. "Sorry, Neji. I must have been real drunk last night."

"It's fine." He turned around.

"I get a feeling that you like it here."

"I do," he said.

"I do, too. It feels like home."

He didn't respond. He aligned the rice balls in the wooden tray.

"Is it like this in your home?"

"When I was younger, yes. However we grow up and the responsibilities wear us down and we discover that childhood is a gift never to be experienced again." He looked back at me. His silken hair danced with the smallest of movements. "Isn't your home like this?"

I rubbed my hands together as I scanned the kitchen and the door leading to the scullery. It wasn't the infrastructure that I was absorbing but rather the ambiance they contained. "It's hard being an only child. All the expectations and the focus are on you. I guess it was fun when all they expected me to do was pass the Academy. Went into a rollercoaster after that."

"I understand," he said. "They must have been proud, though, when you became a renowned medic."

I smiled. "They were always proud of me. I was the one always raising the bar and believing they'd never be satisfied with who I am. But it's not true. I hate that I realized it only when they were the ones in the field and I was the one waiting for them in Konoha. If only I can shout and they'd hear, I'd tell them that I don't mind washing the dishes even after I've come home from performing three consecutive major operations. I don't mind returning to my old bedroom, too."

Neji extended a plate to me. A rice ball sat in the middle, surrounding by fried beef wrapped in coloured leaves. "Try it. I bet you haven't eaten homemade food in a while."

Grinning, I took the plate and thanked him. He averted his gaze, cleared his throat, and returned to rolling the rice in his palms. I put the plate on the table and stood. "Hey, Neji?"

"Yes?"

"Look uhm...I should have done this a lot sooner but I didn't know how and we were all busy with the Jounin Exams that-" I jumped backward as he turned around to face me. Bowing my head, I fiddled with the frills of my apron. "-I didn't have time to tell you something important. About Ayano. I knew. I'm sorry. Sorry because I knew you were having troubles with your relationship and that I knew you had a relationship in the first place. Ayano made it clear that she didn't want 'strangers' to know but she was my colleague and she kind of told me why she was being cruel to you. I would have said something had I known that she would...pass away. I'm sorry, Neji."

I heard Neji breathe, and I felt his breathe descend on me. He chuckled.

I gawked at him.

He placed his right hand on my shoulder. "Your confression several months ago was messy but it sounded more dignified compared to this."

"I-I already confessed this to you?"

"Yes." He smiled, the muscles around his mouth tight as though suppressing a laugh. "And I assured you that she died happy. We were okay. Besides, nobody expected her to die. Nobody...expects anybody's death."

"Yeah..."

"Why say this to me now, though?"

I scratched my elbow for the sake of doing something with my hands. "You've been aloof lately. We noticed. I thought it had something to do with that and I wanted to help appease you."

He raised his eyebrows high. "I worried you?"

"All of us, actually. TenTen's going on and on about it."

"Don't let her bully you."

"That's an impossibility." I sniggered. "Hinata, too, is panicked that you may be keeping a secret like a deadly disease or something. It's always up to the medic to ask. So, how are you feeling today, Mr. Hyuuga?"

He picked out a piece of rice from my bangs. "I'm okay. A little tired but good."

I squinted and said, "Neji, were we friends before I got my amnesia? I mean – friends and not just colleagues?"

The subtle amusement in his expression vanished. He lowered his hand to his side. "You did acupressure therapy on me before you were sent out on that mission. Why do you ask?"

"You seem comfortable around me." I shrugged. "Like, more relaxed than usual. Don't mind me – I'm sorry if you're weirded out. Sometimes I'm just trying to guess how I spent one year of my life."

The answer never came out of his mouth; instead I saw it in the manner his lips pressed together in an attempt to conceal a breath or – better yet - a truth.

The door behind me split open and Neji and I turned in different directions. Yoshino asked me to lift the other end of the lengthy tray she was cradling and to help her transfer it to the garden. The seeds on top of it jingled as we transported it through the nearest door that would lead outside.

Neji, noticing that Yoshino was having trouble catching her breath and her balance, volunteered to take her place. He lowered his arms to level it with my grip so as not to burden me, and we journeyed to the garden in silence.

We caught Shikamaru performing his morning therapy beside the pond. He stood barefoot on the grass, basking under the sun and begging his chakra to travel smoothly across his pathways.

He saw Neji and me while we were negotiating the best way to descend the porch without distorting the seed's colour grouping. Finding our mumbling a distraction to him, he approached us. I rotated my shoulder, catching the sweat on my jaw as I did so. "Hey, get back to your therapy!"

He frowned at me and shared the weight of the tray with us. "Now I'm sure it's wisdom that urged the Fifth to reject your offer to help me."

"What did you say?"

"You said it yourself – I'm not broken." He spread his arms beneath the tray. "Why don't we switch places, Sakura? You're too...petite to be holding that end."

"Shikamaru, you're pushing your luck."

"Steady it, Sakura," hollered Neji.

We slanted the tray a little and trusted Shikamaru to support its weight as we descended the porch. Once on level ground, we inched to the middle of the garden and lowered it. The sun's heat precipitated on our group, appeased slightly by the coming and going of strong winds.

Shikamaru sat on the grass and sighed. I sat beside him and kicked my sandals off. "Your house is really beautiful. I'm jealous." Taking his arm, I rolled up his sleeve and hoisted his elbow to my face.

Shikamaru shifted on the ground and scratched the back of his ear. Neji probed the strayed seeds back to their respective columns. I scooted backward and told Shikamaru to flatten his palm against mine.

"Why?"

"Your main problem is having the chakra sustain its force in your fingertips, correct?"

"Yeah."

"I'll try to attract chakra to give it a little push. Tell me if it hurts."

"You'll be seeing it in my face." He took a deep breath.

Through the corner of my eye, I saw Neji sprint to the porch. Shikamaru and I turned to him in unison. He tossed Yutsuki over his shoulder and returned to the garden with a frown. "She nearly cartwheeled her way over here."

Shikamaru jumped to his feet and took Yutsuki. "You are always getting yourself in trouble! For one day, can you please – "

"Saaaa!" She clapped her hands and pointed at me. "Sa!"

Shikamaru rolled his eyes and lowered her to the ground. She waddled towards me. I opened my arms, grinning, but she walked past me and lay on the grass where my shadow was. Her eyelids scrolled down. It might have only been my imagination, but I thought I saw her pupils dilate.

Neji scoffed. "She likes Sakura and her shadow."

Shikamaru scoffed, too. "Demanding brat. She wants a sister."

"What's wrong, Sakura?" Neji stood beside me to shelter me with his own shadow. He lifted his hand to cover his eyes while he stared down at me. "The two of you should return inside and rest."

I looked at Shikamaru in reflex and turned my head away quickly. I touched my forehead. "You're right. Let's take Yutsuki inside."

Neji offered me his hand. With a wan smile, I accepted it and allowed myself to be pulled up. My shadow slanted and merged with his, baring Yutsuki to sunlight.

Her eyes shot open and she flailed her arms in the air, as though fighting the sunlight away. Her screams paralyzed the three of us.

Shikamaru was the first to break free from the shock of her reaction. He took her in his arms. I grabbed Shikamaru's elbow and forced him to turn his back against the sun. Neji jogged to the porch and yelled Mrs. Nara.

Yutsuki kicked and screamed. Shikamaru asked her again and again why she was trembling. Was she cold? Was she hurting anywhere? Had she seen something that frightened her? He sweated and glanced at the open door of the house, wishing any of his parents would come into view. He asked her the same questions. While the little girl would not respond in coherent words, I understood the flushing of her face and the shaking of her eyelids.

"Stay still, Shikamaru." I stepped closer to him and slipped my hand over Yutsuki's eyes. Her trembling lessened. She regained the evenness of her breathing.

Shikamaru peeked at his baby sister, disbelieving her sudden silence, and gaped at me. "What's happening?"

Shikaku and Yoshino rushed to their children. Only Yoshino inquired of the events that transpired prior to Yutsuki's outburst. The second Shikaku saw my hand over her eyes, he knew what horror was unravelling in my mind.

I was sure because he wouldn't have summoned all of us to the drawing room at once.

Toya shut the sliding doors and paced behind Yoshino, who couldn't stop straightening the edge of the futon that we had brought in. Shikaku sat to my left, watching my fingers as they skated over Yutsuki's torso.

Shikamaru preferred to stand with Neji near the door.

Toya's footfalls and Yoshino's heavy breathing and Shikaku's pertinent stare injected my bloodstream with anxiety that was unsuitable for a medic of my rank. To sustain my composure, I concentrated on Yutsuki's pupils. Dilated. Eternally black.

I rolled down her dress over her body and checked her fingernails. Lines of black and red oozed from her cuticles.

"What is it?" Yoshino hissed. "Does she have an infection? Is she malnourished? Well? Have you found anything _at all_?"

"Yoshino," hissed Shikaku.

Shikamaru ran his hand over his face. "Sakura...please say something."

I licked my lips. This surprise had dried me inside and out. I swallowed twice to moisten my throat, reminding myself of Lady Tsunade's ability to remain perfectly articulate even in dire circumstances. "I'm sorry. I can't find the true source of her discomfort because it's dangerous to have such a young child exposed to foreign chakra, what with her already tolerating Mr. Shikaku's through the tattoo."

"But you did find something?" Shikamaru knelt beside Yoshino and took her hand in his. "You did, didn't you? Or else dad wouldn't be so quiet."

Shikaku stood and walked to the window. "I shouldn't speak until anything's confirmed."

"What's confirmed?" Toya challenged.

"I'll need needles." I said before premature grief could burst between the family members. When all heads were turned towards me, I continued. "I need needles to perform acupuncture on Yutsuki. My chakra will not have to force itself through. The needles will serve as conductor and will prevent violent reactions from arising. It's the only way I can safely diagnose her without bringing her to the hospital and subjecting her to various machineries and painful pricking. We've witnessed how sensitive she is to her environment right now. I believe...you won't want other people involved in this, either." I focused on Shikamaru for an answer.

He nodded on behalf of his parents. "Won't the acupuncture hurt, still?"

Yoshino wiped her nose and caressed Yutsuki's cheek. The girl yawned.

I sniffed to hide my sympathy. A mother trying to be calm broke my heart. "I..uhm...need someone to perform genjutsu on her so as to divert her attention. We won't want her to panic. The acupuncture itself will only prick but I don't think a girl as strong as Yutsuki will cry about it."

"I can do the genjutsu," said Shikaku.

"No, sir. I'm sorry but I prefer not to work with someone who is emotionally attached to the patient. Please do not be offended. Lady Tsunade taught me never to exempt even the greatest shinobis. In the end, we're all human."

"An expert would do," Neji said. "Mr. Nara, I suggest we call in Miss Kurenai. It's her specialty and she'll know the proper approach to a child."

Shikamaru nodded to his dad. "Yeah. She made this case study that applies in the medical field. We can trust her."

Neji volunteered to fetch Kurenai. In the thirty minutes he was away, Yoshino managed to regain her composure and help Shikaku heat the needles through candle-flame. Shikamaru switched his formal clothes for casual ones to accommodate his constant shuffling. Toya shouldered the rest of the preparations in the house and kept the servants away from the drawing room.

I continued to watch Yutsuki lie on the futon and shift from wakefulness to sleep. Shikamaru sat to my left, at last, and satisfied his panic by wrapping his fingers around her toes. I saw his fist on his lap and reached out to soothe it. He gasped at my touch.

I apologized for startling him. "There's no use frightening yourself," I murmured.

"I wouldn't know what to do if anything happens to my sister," he murmured back.

Kurenai's entrance set us in motion once more. She performed a mild hypnotism on Yutsuki and signalled me when it was safe to insert her with needles. Even as young as she was, she responded well to the acupuncture. In fact, she responded so well that I knew the name of the problem without having to prick her face with the fifth needle.

As I was finishing, Toya entered the drawing room to caution us that the Pillars would arrive in thirty-two minutes.

I lied that Yutsuki needed to be brought to the hospital so I could seek Lady Tsunade's assistance in determining the nature of the growth at the back of her eyes. "It's not malignant – not yet. I haven't encountered it before. The Fifth will have a more detailed diagnosis once she's checked Yutsuki. With your permission, Mr. and Mrs. Nara, I'll bring her to the hospital and have the Fifth diagnose her in private."

"I'll come with Sakura." Neji took Yutsuki from me and pressed her head against his shoulder. "We'll take care of her until your meeting with the Pillars is done."

Yoshino kissed Yutsuki goodbye without letting a single teardrop spill. She then embraced me and said that she trusted me with her whole heart. Toya guided her out because she wouldn't have parted with Yutsuki otherwise.

Shikamaru pinched the bridge of his nose. "Can't we cancel this meeting, dad? Yutsuki needs us."

"She needs us to be responsible." Shikaku nudged him out the door and ordered him to help Neji sort Yutsuki's necessities for her visit to the hospital.

Neji, seeming to have understood my tacit implications, closed the door to give Shikaku and me privacy.

I collected my medical paraphernalia on the floor and hugged them against my chest as a form of security. Discomfort stretched in the room as each new second passed. He rubbed his knuckles against his chest and cursed under his breath.

"Tell me," he said.

"She's very sick, sir, and she won't be living past the age of sixteen."

He stiffened. He would not look away from me. "You're certain? But earlier – "

"You're the chief, sir," I said. "I respect that. Your family deserves to hear the news from your mouth, not mine. It will only be right considering the other dilemma you are going through. Normally, I would have allowed Lady Tsunade to take on this difficult task for me but you're having a meeting with the Pillars and Shikamaru made it sound like a big deal – your agenda, that is. I believe this newfound knowledge will affect whatever decision you would be making later."

"Sixteen years old?"

"I've encountered a nearly similar case before, albeit Yutsuki's case is unique. I..." The stethoscope fell to the ground. "I hate lying. We can treat her but as far as medical logic goes, sixteen is her limit."

"I thought so."

"You...?"

"Family bullshit." He shook his head. "My father had a mild case of it. I have his medical records. It made him temperamental the older he got. But...what in the world caused it? Can you tell?"

"It's usually something that happens during the mother's pregnancy period," I whispered. "Was your wife under extreme stress in those nine months?"

He shut his eyes and nodded. "Yes. She was. Yes, yes."

"That's one factor."

"Thank you."

"She won't need confinement in the hospital, but I suggest you visit her there anyway so you can speak to Lady Tsunade."

"Yes. That would be right."

"Mr. Shikaku...I believe you're a strong man and an excellent father." Bowing, I hurried out the room and waited for Neji outside the gate. I hoped I had given him the privacy he needed to vent his frustrations.

Neji and I snuck Yutsuki to the rehabilitation garden and he left us to fetch the Hokage. Shizune arrived instead to guide us to RB6C. There, the Fifth affirmed my suspicions. She cradled Yutsuki and patted her back as a form of apology.

"It's a rare form of disease in the Nara Clan," she told us. "It's like cancer but shy on symptoms. The malignant growth at the back of her eyes will retain its size until she dies. It will just cling there and pretend to be a gift that enables her to recognize shadows when in truth, it hinders her from recognizing the light."

"Like being blind?" asked Neji.

"More like delusional," she answered.

Shizune fetched the family at midnight when the meeting with the Pillars was finally over. Lady Tsunade met them in the neighbouring room to discuss Yutsuki's disease with them. Yoshino's sobbing pierced the walls and stabbed my heart strong enough for me to forego my exhaustion. When I could no longer endure it, I told Neji to watch over Yutsuki and excused myself by saying that I had to visit the bathroom. He stopped me by the door to assure me that I had done my best and this was out of my control. All the response I could make was to clutch his forearm. I left the room.

Every disappointment in my life flooded my chest. Every death in the hospital haunted me. Perhaps I failed the Jounin Exams because somebody foresaw that the Reservoir Treatment was limited – useless, even.

No intelligence could save Yutsuki from her fate.

I stepped into the bridge and squinted in the darkness. "Shikamaru?"

The silhouette shuddered. "Sakura?"

I waited for my eyes to adjust before I approached him. "Why aren't you with...?"

"I've heard enough." He breathed into his hands and rubbed them together. "I sure I've heard enough."

"We'll try."

"Try what?"

The moonlight seeped through the clouds and reached the bridge, making visible the outlines of his face. The coldness behind his gaze, though, had long been tangible. "Treatment," I said. "New medicines. Anything."

"Don't lie to me."

"Shikamaru-"

"Don't lie to me, Sakura."

"She's not dead yet!" I breathed deep to calm myself and waited for the echoes of my voice to subside. "Shikamaru, you can't treat her like she's dead already. She's got several years ahead of her. She'll grow up. You can't deprive her of that."

"I don't know what..." He slammed his fist against the railing and pressed his forehead against it. "_Fuck_!"

I ran my hand along the length of his back. He sobbed. I leaned my upper body on his back and wrapped my arms around him. He clutched my waist and pulled me towards him. We embraced each other.

"You've had enough, I'm sure. It's okay, Shikamaru," I said. "I promise I'm not leaving your sister's side."

With that said, he cried.

**Shikaku:**

Yoshino soldiered to the neighbouring room to fetch Yutsuki. I remained seated on my chair, slouched in front of the Hokage, wondering again about Shikamaru and Sakura and Yutsuki and my wife. There were too many facts running in my head at once. A headache would not justify the pain that I was slowly beginning to recognize.

Lady Tsunade sat on Yoshino's chair and crossed her legs. "Shikaku, I know it's heartless to ask this of you, but – "

"What do you need, milady?"

"...You have to release the summon on Yei Hano tonight," she hissed. "Orochimaru will make a move soon. We don't want to be caught by surprise."

I hunched lower and hid my face in my hands. "I wouldn't want to lose my other child, would I?"


	10. Chapter Nine

**Fingers around My Toes**

**By Lapiz Liberty**

**Summary: **Shikamaru and Sakura ended the rebirth case with the conviction that they have lost each other once and for all. As Tsunade stitches that case close, Orochimaru greets them with a surprise that will force the former lovers to beat the odds a second time – whether they remember their past or not.

* * *

**Chapter Nine**

**Sakura:**

Lady Tsunade did not find comfort in sitting on her chair.

She leaned against the front of her desk and crossed her ankles. A strand of blonde hair was pulling away from her pigtails. Dark circles underlined her eyes. She said, "Sakura, you're not hearing yourself."

"I know what I'm talking about, Lady Tsunade."

"Really?" She scoffed. "You're going to tell me that after a sleepless night which, I believe, was preceded by a drunken episode in the Nara's abode and accompanied by a concussion."

I could not glance at the Naras to my right. I should not have stood up; I should have remained seated with them when I voiced my proposal instead of risking scrutiny. It didn't help that this particular family was capable of dissecting humans with their brains. "It doesn't change the fact that I'm serious about this," I said.

Yoshino fidgeted on her seat. She gripped Shikaku's forearm. "I want an explanation. What does that treatment – honey, what treatment is that again?"

"Reservoir Treatment," said Shikaku.

"Right, that. What does that do? How can it help Yutsuki?"

Shikamaru, who had been motionless and wordless the entire meeting, finally lifted his eyes to see me. "You want to store chakra at the back of her heart?"

"Like a sponge," I said as I turned completely to face them. "My recent discovery revealed that it can be used outside the battlefield. When you place a reservoir of chakra at the back of a patient's heart, it compliments the ability of the body to cope and to survive. Primarily, it enhances the release of the antibodies and the efficiency of white blood cells. The by-product is an immune system that may prevent the worsening of the current disease which - with the proper medication to accompany it - may also lead to a full recovery."

Lady Tsunade dropped her hand on my shoulder. "Sakura, you don't know what you're doing. I'm sorry, but I have to be blunt with your family, Shikaku. The last medical record of someone in the main family who suffered from that rare disease has been studied again and again. Even _I_ probed it when I was still an apprentice. There aren't enough symptoms and solid medical logic behind its existence. It's a ticking time-bomb, to be honest. The Naras have it in their genes. Shikaku and Shikamaru, you have it in yours. Michio acquired the disease later in life. His was mild, yes, but it tortured him to his deathbed. All the three occurrences – those that have been recorded – only have the growth of the malignant tumour at the back of the eyes as their sole physical denominator. Even the effects on the victims varied. We won't be able to determine how Yutsuki will live those sixteen years. That is, if a child diagnosed with it can cope with the stress that comes with the disease."

"Yutsuki is resilient," I blurt. "She responds well to treatments."

Shikamaru straightened on his chair, his sudden movement startling even Lady Tsuande. He cleared his throat and brushed strands of his hair back, as though it was preventing him from seeing us. "Medics have studied it before?" He turned to Shikaku. "How many occurrences has there been?"

Shikaku continued to stare out the window, at the view of Konoha. "Five. There's no pattern. No number of years when it reappears and haunts a family. No definite way of activating it and getting rid of it."

"Did you try to get grandpa medicated? Was he taking medicines or undergoing therapy or what?"

"I don't know."

"Dad, snap out of it. I need you to participate."

"I don't know, Shikamaru."

"Dad!"

"Shikamaru!" Yoshino hissed. Her chest rose high and fell deep. Her eyebrows furrowed. Her fingers embedded themselves against Shikaku's forearm, as though she was assuring herself that her husband would not vanish.

Shikamaru stood and walked around the line of chairs. He held his forehead. "I have to check the family records. Gramps and the older ones always kept important details to themselves. I'll go and check. I'll come back with the answers so we can decide on how to act on it."

"Shikamaru, you're staying here!" Yoshino smoothed the skirt of her kimono as she strode to her son. "Sit down. Sit down, Shikamaru."

"Yutsuki is the first infant to suffer from it," mumbled Shikaku.

All five of us fell silent. We heard the children's footfalls outside the tower, their hooting like a lion's roaring amidst the quiet that reigned in this office. They laughed and argued about who won the race and who should treat who to what food stall. A boy shrieked that he was tired of losing. He wasn't going to pay for anybody's price.

Shikaku leaned forward and tented his fingers. "Sakura, do you really believe that the Reservoir Treatment can help Yutsuki?"

My limbs stiffened. The proposal didn't reveal its true burden until I glanced at Shikamaru and saw that he was watching me. "T-the treatment can p-probably weaken the effects of the malignant growth. I cannot promise to add years to her life. I do promise to do my best to prevent it from dominating Yutsuki's childhood."

"Let's try it." Yoshino squeezed Shikamaru's arm and nodded at us. "I want to try it. Anything that might save my daughter."

"Shikamaru?" I said.

He put his hand on his waist. He scratched his chin. He paced the length of the room, quiet.

I sat on my chair and closed my eyes for a while. Soon, my body would yield to exhaustion. I needed to go home to my apartment before I collapsed. "Lady Tsunade, I won't be promoted to jounin soon, am I? Not with Suna coming after me."

"They're not after you, Sakura."

"Well, they're not exactly pleased with me if they're chasing me with lies."

"What are you trying to say?"

"I have the time and the resources to commit to Yutsuki's recovery." I raised my hands in surrender. "Okay, maybe not her recovery but her resurgence from her ailment. I'm not allowing this baby girl to be thrown into a life of hardship for something she was unfortunately born with. There _is_ a way to guarantee that she will have a normal childhood and that she'll make friends and that she can outsmart the rest of her classmates in the Academy and that-"

Yoshino whimpered and burst into tears. Shikamaru stopped pacing and embraced her. She kept shaking her head.

I hoisted my chair and transferred it behind her. Shikamaru assisted his mother down to sit. He mouthed 'thanks' to me and looked away. A teardrop skated down his left cheek. I touched his hand to let him know that he was not alone.

"I want to try it," Shikaku croaked.

Lady Tsunade said, "Sakura's application of the Reservoir Treatment to patients who do not qualify for it would turn it into an experiment, meaning whatever findings she'll earn must be noted and relayed to the government officials from both the Leaf and the Sand who are sponsoring Sakura . It's the sole reason I'm unwilling to let you go through this."

Shikamaru snapped his head towards me. "You mean to say Yutsuki will become your guinea pig?"

I stepped back, stunned. "Hold on, I never said that."

"But you knew you'd have to make public whatever the hell you find in my sister."

"That's not my point-"

"I can't believe you."

"Well?" Lady Tsunade shrugged. "Will you be willing to have Yutsuki documented in the medical books in exchange for her chance at a normal life? Forgive me for seeming heartless but I'm sure sugar-coating is the least frivolity you need especially after meeting with the Pillars. If you allow Sakura to probe your daughter, you'll be alleviating the load of your current dilemma with Shikamaru's position as heir; albeit it will worsen the Pillar's attack on your family's ability to lead the clan. Without Sakura's help, you can keep Yutsuki's impairment a secret from the Pillars and feel your way through fitting her in a normal childhood setting. Both choices have tempting pros and cons. What weighs more?"

Shikamaru bowed to the Hokage, marched out of the room, and slammed the door shut.

I twisted the doorknob, turned around to bow to them, and sprinted after him. "Shikamaru!"

"Sakura!" Ino waved at me from the opposite corridor. Hinata, Kiba, and Akamaru called after me.

I ignored them and returned my focus on Shikamaru, who was descending the staircase three steps at a time. I grabbed the railing to ensure my balance as I went after him "Shikamaru, stop running away from me! We need to talk! Damn it! Slow down, will you?"

"Sakura!"

"Not now, Ino!"

"Where are you going?"

I leapt off the railing and landed on the succeeding flight of stairs, directly behind Shikamaru. I seized his shoulder. "Why won't you listen to me?"

He slapped my hand away from him. "Is this why you don't want to leave Yutsuki's side? Is that why you're so eager to help her? We're not your silver lining, Sakura. Do you think that by curing her or whatever fucked up solution is in your head, you can finally get your promotion?"

I gawked at him. My sight hazed, and my arms and legs trembled. "You son of a bitch."

"Sakura!" Ino hollered from the railing overhead. She flailed her arms to grab our attention. "Are the both of you okay? What's with the deathly glares?"

"Hey, I think they're arguing," Kiba said.

Shikamaru stomped down the staircase.

My fingers dented the railing. I let go of it before the Fifth could charge me of vandalism. I was lightheaded. I sat on the steps and wiped the sweat on my jaws. Akamaru's barking made my temples throb.

"Sakura?" Ino appeared in front of me. "You're pale. What happened? Why was Shikamaru so angry?"

"Leave me alone."

Kiba tugged her elbow. "Ino, I think you should let her be. It's none of our business. Or do you need help getting home, Sakura? You don't look well."

"I can help her get home," said Hinata.

I leaned my head against the wall. "I'm fine. I've got a lot going on, that's all."

"There you are, Sakura."

The three of us looked back and saw Neji. He stood beside Ino to scrutinize my appearance. "Do you know where Shikamaru went?"

I chuckles. "Have no fuckin' idea."

He bent on his waist so his mouth was next to my ear. "The Fifth sent me after you to deliver the good news: they agree to have you perform the treatment. You have to pack your bags now."

I raised my eyebrow at him. "Pack?"

He craned his neck to see my face. His breath warmed my nose. "Where do you expect to care for the girl? In your apartment?"

"I'm living with them?"

"I will, too." He fished an envelope from his pocket and placed it in my hand. "The Hokage ordered you to be under twenty-four hour watch every day for two weeks to make sure that you don't get into trouble while we counter Suna's charges. Unfortunately, I'll be your guardian."

Ino groaned. "Do you think you can mumble to yourselves all day long and ignore me? Sakura, I chased you because you look like you're ready to massacre a household."

"Not massacre." I stared up at Neji. "I'm about to try and save one."

**Shikaku:**

Yoshino squeezed my hand. She inhaled and hid her face in my chest. I wrapped my arm around her shoulders and looked the Hokage in the eyes on her behalf. I felt her tremble, and I felt my confidence waver.

Lady Tsunade motioned to the chair. I shook my head, knowing Yoshino would rather exhaust herself standing than sit back and let me confront the situation on my own. If the best she could do right now was to hold me, I would not judge her for that. She had done more than enough for me yesterday evening by returning to our house with Yutsuki nestled in her arms and with her chin held high.

'No one should know,' she had told me. 'We will not let it show.'

I had agreed.

Lady Tsunade crossed her legs and gripped the armrests of her chair. "Have you confirmed Yei Hano's arrival?"

"She won't be a minute late, milady," I said. "I know that you are far from fully convinced of the idea of placing Sakura Haruno in the same house as my son, but I am largely confident of the clan guard's ability to protect my household."

Yoshino stepped back from me and turned towards the Hokage. She rubbed her right eye free from tears. "Besides, there haven't been any obvious activity from Orochimaru's camp, have there? Until then, I do not see why Sakura should be hindered from treating my daughter."

"And if Orochimaru surprises us again?" she said. "Even with Shikamaru as the main target, it is not unlikely that he'll involve Sakura for the sake of acquiring a test subject. You're purposely risking Yutsuki by presenting her to the enemy as a possible hostage. You heard Sakura earlier; there's no doubt that she'll do anything to save Yutsuki. She did the same for Hanako remember, Shikaku?"

"By Hanako, you mean Miss Kurenai's daughter?" asked Yoshino.

"Yes, darling."

"But that's a different case entirely, Lady Tsunade. From what Shikaku told me, Sakura and Shikamaru were ambushed in the forest lodging. It can't happen again. Yei Hano and her clan guards are dedicated to the protection of my family."

"Shikaku, how many guards will be in Yei Hano's entourage?"

"The bride is expected to have fifty supporters in the first week of her visit in the main household. These supporters will consist of the three women in her immediate family to attend to her, the five men in her immediate family to handle the legalities of the marriage, and forty-two guards to look after them." I stroked my beard as I recounted the contents in that disintegrating book in my study. "Yoshino, how many remained in your entourage during the second week?"

"After one week, we can request for her to shed her party to twenty."

Lady Tsunade gaped at me. "Shikaku, how do you expect to keep the rebirth case a secret to eight members of the bride's immediate family? Three women attending to Yei Hano will prevent her from moving freely with our team to decipher the damn blood seal that your son used!"

I lifted my hand to signal her to calm down. "Milady, Yei Hano's parents were killed in the battlefield seven months ago. Kaemon, her brother, succeeded his father as his family's head and representative at the clan guards. If we're talking about immediate family, Yei Hano has next to none."

"How old is this Kaemon?"

"He's eighteen, milady."

"Eighteen! And Yei?"

"She recently celebrated her seventeenth birthday," I said. "By the time she's of marriageable age, Shikamaru will already be fully recovered."

"What of his relatives?"

"I addressed an issue in the guard's faction regarding the assault that Kaemon's peers committed against him. It was a prank gone horribly wrong. Kaemon's left leg had to be amputated. It disqualified him from representing his family in the clan guards. Unfortunately, the ones responsible for that assault are also members of the clan guards – all of which are related to him by blood."

Yoshino huffed. She hated hearing that story. "The poor young man pleaded to Shikaku not to eliminate his family from the guards. Shikaku agreed to let his family retain its honour, which gave the Pillars an opportunity to openly display their distaste of us."

Lady Tsunade scowled and waved her hand as though shooing a fly. "How does this apply to my concern over the case's confidentiality? We need Yei Hano to roam freely, Shikaku."

"What we meant to say is that Yei has no women in her immediate family to attend to her, and servants cannot assume that role. Since Kaemon is prohibited from leaving his post because of the additional duties I assigned to him to justify his being a guard, Yei will be supported by fifty guards under her family's tutelage."

"And none of her sadistic relatives from the guards has volunteered to tag along with her?"

"I am adamant to keeping this girl alive and whole, milady."

"She'll have no one to attend to her?"

Yoshino smiled warily. "Women from the guards hardly touch cosmetics and dresses. Aside from that, they can be obnoxiously independent. I shall assist her in her first week here and break more traditions thereafter. It's not as though we can displease the Pillars more. We've matched the heir with a soldier, for crying out loud."

Lady Tsunade fished a flask of sake from behind her desk. "You'll have sufficient guards, no prying eyes, and a temporary solution to Yutsuki's ailment. I am happy that the two of you came up with such a brilliant plan at such short notice. I expected nothing less, especially in whatever plan you have to keep Shikamaru and Sakura at a safe distance from one another. You have thought that through, haven't you?"

I lowered my hand to Yoshino's waist. She gazed up at me, waiting for my genius to set them in awe. "...I thought of that while considering our decision to keep Yutsuki's disease a secret," I said. "We can fabricate our intentions with the explanation that Sakura Haruno has been assigned to personally oversee Shikamaru's recovery. We can reduce the gravity of that lie by truly having her handle his therapy."

"They will not be left alone for long periods of time," Yoshino said, picking up on the idea. "Once Yei Hano arrives, it will be inappropriate for Shikamaru to be left alone in a room with a girl who is not a member of the family. Yei can insist to be present in every session. So can I."

Lady Tsunade looked back and fro my wife and I. "Shikamaru's betrothal will not be endangered? Are you certain?"

Yoshino intertwined our fingers and sighed. "I believe that's the very reason my husband invited Neji to remain in our house as well."

**Sakura:**

Neji and I walked in silence to my apartment. The weather was unusually cool for this time of year, but I had the sense not to complain of unusual occurrences. Since coming home from Suna, nothing normal had transpired in my life.

Mom and dad were still not home. I didn't like to think about my promotion; honestly, it had been the last thing in my mind since the discovery of Yutsuki's disease. What good was my rank if I wasn't able to save that girl?

Then there was Neji.

He kept on coming to my rescue at just the right moment.

I thrust the key into the keyhole. I twisted and twisted the doorknob but it would not budge. Neji wrapped his hand around mine and lent me his strength. The lock dislodged and the door swung inwards.

Neji sighed. I glanced up at him. He held the door open for me. "Do not let Shikamaru upset you."

"...How can't I when he's accused me of..." I shook my head. "Never mind."

"Whatever he said, do not take it to heart. He doesn't know what he's doing."

"Yeah, 'cause he's wrong. It's all bullshit, his accusation."

"If you're so sure that it's bullshit, then you don't have to be overcast."

"You can go in if you want to." I slipped my boots off and walked straight to my bedroom. When I did not hear any sound outside, I peered at the hall and saw Neji standing guard by the door.

Figuring that he was too conventional to enter a girl's apartment, I proceeded to toss my necessities inside my red travel bag. I could always return here every few days to clean and to rummage my wardrobe for fresh clothes. Mom would drag me back to my old bedroom if she barged into my apartment without warning and saw that everything was covered in dust. She did that sometimes. I pretended to hate that she cares too much about the cleanliness of my place.

I rolled five kimonos and squeezed them into the remaining spaces of my bag. Yoshino Nara was a traditionalist. I guessed she would prefer it if I wore kimono in her home during my stay there.

Hoisting my shirt over my head, I tossed it into the laundry bag in the bathroom and opened my closet for something formal yet comfortable to wear. I slipped on a white turtleneck with long sleeves and pull up my favourite black jeans.

I sneezed. My room really was dirty.

"Sakura?"

I closed my closet. "I'm nearly done, Neji. Just a second."

"May I help myself to a glass of water?"

"Yeah, sure." I combed my hair to a ponytail and bound it with a ribbon. "But you won't find the cups in the kitchen! I usually leave them on the dining table."

The sound of the water from the faucet filled my apartment. I peered outside and found him drinking a glass of water in my kitchen. He washed it quick, dried it with the towel I kept hidden in the upper right drawer near the sink, and he placed it back on the dining table, overturned like the rest of the glasses were.

I stared at him. He noticed me and asked if I was ready to go.

"How'd you know where to find that towel I use to dry the dishes?" I said.

He gripped the backrest of the chair in front of him. His gaze swept the apartment and returned to me. "Are you ready to go?"

"Neji, you're avoiding my question."

"I've been here before." He released of the chair and walked to the front door. "That's all."

"Did I invite you here?"

"I don't trespass a girl's apartment, Sakura."

I grabbed my bags from the bed and zipped them close while I trailed behind him. "That doesn't explain why you know where that dishtowel is kept."

"Where do people normally keep their dishtowels?"

"Not everybody hides it in the drawer."

"Why do you hide it? To keep it damp?"

"Bad habit of mine."

He marched inside the apartment again to retrieve my keys. He dropped them in my free hand. "What are you implying, Sakura? That I spent enough time in your apartment to learn where you fancy placing your dishtowel and your cooking oil and your comb?"

I twisted the key in the lock and transferred the black bag to my left hand. "...You don't have to be harsh. I was just asking."

He snatched the red travel bag from me. "I apologize. I haven't gotten enough rest yet."

"Why won't you tell me?"

"Tell you what?"

I dropped the bag and folded my arms across my chest. "Fine. I should just spit it out. You probably heard of it anyway."

"What, Sakura?"

"Eiko said you were coming and going in my apartment before I landed in the ICU," I grumbled, feeling the heat swarm my cheeks. "The entire hospital staff thought we were a..._thing_, too, but I thought they were just teasing me, you know? But yesterday, you...forget it. It's not important. Stupid amnesia."

I slung the bag over my shoulder and soldiered past him. I heard him sigh, and then he said, "It's true."

My feet halted at the edge of the staircase. I looked back at him.

"But it's not worth discussing," he said. "The rumours are probably exaggerated."

"Neji, I could live with not knowing but I don't think it's helping you," I said. "Do you think I didn't notice how you evaded me during the preliminaries of the Jounin Exams and that I wouldn't know you watched over me the entire night I was confined in Suna's clinic for a head injury? And how panicked you were when you saw that I wasn't in the room with Ino and the rest of the examinees, or how diligently you nursed me in the Nara's house?"

"Sakura, why are you so angry?"

"Because you had a fiancé and I knew her and I can't remember the last time I talked to her!" I took my time breathing in and out. In and out. "Ayano and I weren't really friends and the whole thing has been messed up since my amnesia and I can't help but be frightened of the possibility that we had an affair behind her back and she died-"

"Sakura!" He clutched my arms and shook me lightly. "Wake up. You're venting on me."

"I'm not. I've always thought about this."

"Ayano's been...gone for more than a year. I only started visiting your apartment two months ago."

"I rented the apartment two months ago," I said, frowning at him. "If it was an affair, you couldn't have visited me in my house with my parents in it."

"There was no affair," he said. "Do you hear what you're saying? You're unearthing every possible mistake you could have done and you're using them to sabotage yourself. You over-think and you tend to drive people away. I swear that if you say one more word about this, I will stop assisting you in counteracting Suna's charges. You'll have to fend them off on your own."

I gripped my hair. "I'm going mad. I don't know if I did something horrible last year that can possibly make Shikamaru think I'm capable of using Yutsuki for my own gains."

"Was that why you talked to me about Ayano yesterday?"

"It was a real apology," I said. "Aside from the nagging voice in my head that wants to confirm the rumours, it was a real apology. I thought that was the best I could do."

"What were the rumours, exactly?"

"...That we were a couple. You know how gossip works, Neji...don't you?"

"And what was your expected outcome of this confrontation?"

"Nothing." I bounced on my heels and shrugged, knowing that remaining stationary would freeze my blood. "If I didn't have an affair with you and the rumours are based on something, I didn't want to go on acting so ignorant of my actions during the previous year simply because I forgot about them. If I owe you something-"

Neji shut his eyes and exhaled quietly. "I cannot believe I tolerated you before. You're noisy."

"Neji, I'm serious," I whined. "You'll probably be my only friend in that house now that Shikamaru's gone loco on me. I don't want whatever happened between us before my amnesia to get in the way of the present. I already have enough on my shoulder as it is. If we suddenly begin avoiding each other while we're in the Naras, I might just go insane."

"It was a relationship."

"What?"

"Not a secret affair." He paused to gauge my reaction. "I loved you and you didn't love me back. You chose to pursue that mission with Shikamaru and Sai and you forgot. Forgive me if my actions triggered your curiosity. You can take solace in the fact that I have poured my energy into abandoning all traces of our special friendship to accommodate your amnesia. I didn't tell you because you needed to focus on the more important factors of your life. Not me."

He stepped around me to climb down the staircase. "Don't worry, I won't be avoiding you. That would be immature of me."

"W-where are you going?"

"I'll pack my things." He raised his hand in the air and waved once. "I'll see you later."

**Neji:**

I tackled the shopping district with the sole intent of freeing my mind from Sakura through the booming noise of shopkeepers and customers. As I slipped past three children who were watching a cat walk across the shop's roof, a woman in a blue kimono stepped out of the food stall and walked beside me.

"So you have a talent for manipulating people," she cooed.

"You were eavesdropping on her and me, Miss Nohara?"

"I'm taking caution, Neji." She sniffed the air as we passed by a pastry shop. "The plan to separate the lovebirds until the case is over has gone cold. Now they're closer than they can ever be."

"You're updated."

"Of course," she said. "Kakashi's my partner."

I gathered my hair in my hands and fixed the lace higher. The wind was beginning to gain strength. "I intended to report my plans regarding the situation."

"Your plan to confess your affections to her?"

"Yes."

"How long has that plan existed? And please don't tell me your emotions have overrun your logic."

"The evening Mr. Nara summoned me to his home to care for a drunken Sakura," I said.

"Won't it be obvious to her that you're barring her relationship with Shikamaru?"

"They're only friends. I was cautious."

She glanced behind us, at the masked children throwing wooden shuriken at each other. Following her line of sight, I saw Sai lingering near that group of children. He jerked, as though he was stabbed from behind, and he lifted his eyes to meet mine.

"Can you elaborate what 'cautious' means?" said Nohara.

My neck itched. I ignored the discomfort. "I purposely hinted that I cared for her beyond the standards of camaraderie and friendship – enough to make her curious and demand for an explanation from me. It helped that there were gossips in the hospital; she can be sure that I'm not shaping things out of thin air. Her...imagination combined with her temper nearly threw me off balance, but I coped. Now that I have answered her, she'll be too troubled with me to bother with any romantic inclination she may have for Shikamaru."

"Why does it seem to me that you are already alarmed by their proximity? They haven't really interacted until he brought her to his home."

"Shikamaru argued with her."

"And?"

"Sakura figured that Shikamaru didn't lose his memories of her because he so willingly argued with her on his return to Konoha. Remember? Before they did actually lose their memories?"

"Oh. Shikamaru doesn't argue with women."

"Worse. They're still biting each other's neck. If I didn't know Sakura like I do, I would have dismissed their bickering as irrelevant."

"Oh my." She giggled, causing her to blush. "You might have to present your neck for biting, Neji."

The itching spread to my spine. I scratched my neck. "Let's hope I can tempt her."

**Sakura:**

Yoshino Nara dropped the broom and ran to me. I let go of my bags and opened my arms. Enclosing me in an embrace, she sobbed and whispered, "Thank goodness you're here."

Shikaku picked up the broom and leaned it against the wall. "Give the girl space to breathe, darling. She hasn't gotten any proper rest since yesterday. Sakura, welcome to our home."

"T-thank you, sir."

Yoshino snatched my bags and marched across the hallway. "Let's talk in the drawing room. Follow me."

I had expected Shikamaru to be seated inside the room, cradling Yutsuki and getting ready to convince his parents that I was a bad addition to the gang. A retort fidgeted in my brain in case he and I broke into another argument. My goal would be to convince his parents that I wasn't as selfish as I seemed; Before Lady Tsunade launched me into the medical field, she had made sure that I prioritized my patients before myself. Medics existed to heal the injured, not for the injured to serve as instruments of glory for the medics.

I could have collapsed in utter relief when Yoshino opened the door and I found nobody behind it. Shikaku entered the room after me and apologized on Shikamaru's behalf if ever he had said or done anything to offend me. "My son's having a very hard time grasping the situation," he explained.

Of course, I had no choice but to lie. I understood Shikamaru. Had I been the one in his shoes, I knew I would have reacted far worse. Really, everything was alright between us.

However, a lie was a lie and it didn't help that I wore my emotions on my sleeves. It didn't surprise me at all that Yoshino felt the need to supplement Shikaku's apology. I schooled my expression to something more neutral to satisfy them.

Our discussion covered plenty of ground, beginning with the confidentiality of this assignment. Yutsuki's condition would remain a secret to everybody in the village, especially to those who were part of the Nara Clan. Should the Pillars receive word of this, they would use it as ammunition to bring them down.

They reduced suspicion of my presence here by having Lady Tsunade agree to assign me as Shikamaru's doctor. I would be entitled to utilize every hospital facility and legal medical treatment that I deemed would aid in Shikamaru's recovery.

"But he will only be a front," said Shikaku. "This privilege is for the research you'll make on Yutsuki's disease. The Fifth agreed not to reveal this endeavour of yours to the authorities concerned with the Reservoir Treatment until your research is finished and finalized."

Furthermore, I wasn't allowed to be left alone with Shikamaru – not after the advent of his fiancé. Yoshino explained that he couldn't be caught in any conundrum with another woman or else the Pillars would find a way to break off the engagement. It wasn't that my drunken episode troubled them – it was actually a breath of fresh air to have to care for someone other than themselves – I simply couldn't expect Shikamaru to rescue me like that anymore. A stranger might perceive our relationship as something else entirely.

"They're that eager to replace you?" I asked.

Shikaku smiled, exposing the lines around his mouth. "That's what happens when you betray tradition and tell old men that they're too old for their own good."

"And you don't mind that Neji must stay here to watch over me? It's necessary for the – "

"We know, Sakura," Yoshino said. "We don't mind. Letting another gentleman stay in the house is not a sacrifice compared to what you've chosen to do for our family. I thank you from the bottom of my heart."

"I'll do my best. I promise."

She toured me around the house and indulged me with their everyday routine. Things were bound to change, though, seeing as Shikamaru's fiancé would be making her entrance tomorrow morning.

The family occupied the east wing only; the house was too big for only four people. On special occasions, she summoned servants to help her clean if only to reduce the heat that the Pillars emanated to them.

"I notice you prefer modern utilities," I said while we exited the west wing. "This side of the house is quite traditional."

She laughed. "We don't resent tradition. We make use of that wing sometimes, but since Shikaku and Shikamaru are always out to work, we find modern tools to be more accommodating to our needs."

We went to the second floor, and there she told me who owned which room. The master's bedroom sat at the end of a long corridor that was adjacent to the staircase. Windows only started appearing once we crossed the intersection and entered a longer corridor. Opposite the line of windows were five rooms.

"Never hesitate to knock on our door if anything comes up with Yutsuki. This is our princess' room." She slid open the third door and pointed at the one next it. "That's Shikamaru's room. If there's an emergency, you can storm in there and expect that we'll understand why you have to kick him off his own bed."

"I-I'll be sleeping in Yutsuki's room?"

She moved aside to let me through. "Shikamaru was upset with the amnesia and insisted that he'd make it up to his baby sister by nursing her whenever he's around. We transferred Yutsuki to this room to shut him up. He puts her to sleep at night, which saves Shikaku and I from having to endure the trouble of waking at the wee hours of the morning. He won't calm down unless he knows she's near."

I dropped my bags on the bed and tiptoed to the crib. Yutsuki reached her hand up in her sleep. I slid my forefinger into her hand and she gripped it. "Won't it be awkward for Shikamaru's fiancé to have me staying in the room next to his?"

"We'll introduce you as the family doctor." Yoshino's gaze descended to the crib. She couldn't help but frown. "I don't expect Shikamaru to be home until later in the evening. It's good that he's not here. He needs a little time off this entire mess."

"He'll be fine, Mrs. Nara." I looked down at Yutsuki and teased her hair away from her forehead. "Your brother will be fine. You'll be fine. You're as strong as he is, aren't you?"

Neji joined us in time for dinner. He occupied the empty seat to my right and nodded at me. Having prepared no clever response, I nodded back at him and gave my attention to Toya, who was singing out-of-tune for Yutsuki while she wriggled on her high chair.

Shikaku yelled for Yoshino to scold his brother, and she returned to the dining room with the food in her hands and a frown on her face. "Toya, you are squeezing me dry of patience. Please, your singing is traumatizing our houseguests."

"You've heard worse in the battlefield," he grumbled, and finally let Yutsuki be.

I turned my chair towards her and fed her with the formula that Lady Tsunade normally used on infants to prepare their body for diverse treatments. The silence did not occur to me until Shikaku excused himself and walked out on us. Toya consumed the remaining food on his plate and told Yoshino that he'd smoke with Shikaku for her peace of mind.

Yoshino cleared their plates and lied that she, too, was full.

Neji stayed with me. He volunteered to feed Yutsuki so I could finish my own food. I felt we both wanted to pursue our exchange about the status of our relationship, but neither had the courage to begin.

In the end, we parted with nothing more than 'goodnight'.

Yoshino permitted me no sleep with her incessant nagging about Yutsuki's condition. Was her daughter going to be in pain? Did I plan to inject her with new drugs? Would my experiments be safe? Shikaku, pale and haggard, fetched her from my room at midnight using brute force.

At two o'clock, I was still fully awake. A forty-two year old case study about the development of retinal impairment on children was spread on my lap. I was at page sixty-eight. The candlelight flickered and distracted me from understanding the text.

I heared Yutsuki's blanket and toys shuffle. Dragging my chair next to her crib, I peered inside and saw that she as holding onto the wooden bars of her cot to stand. She snapped her head to where the flickering candlelight threw her shadow.

Suddenly, she stopped and turned to the door.

Nausea dawned on me out of nowhere. I held my forehead and leaned down on her crib. Yutsuki whimpered and pointed at the door.

The case study slipped from my lap as I stood. My eyes registered the silhouette of a man standing outside the room, his outline on the screen solid and pure black. The base of my tailbone throbbed. I reached under my pillow for a kunai and held it, but the nausea worsened to the point that I could not retain my grip on the weapon.

Yutsuki shrieked and clapped her hands.

I tossed my gaze back to the door. The silhouette was gone, and so was my nausea.

Summoning a shadow clone, I told her to guard Yutsuki while I roamed the halls.

The kunai was cold against my fingers. I crept out of the door and entered a fighting stance, willing my senses to detect any form of suppressed chakra within the immediate perimeter.

The door to my left burst open.

I bent my knees, parted my feet, and gathered chakra on my fingertips. "Who's there?"

Shikamaru emerged from his room with a burning candle in one hand and a kunai in the left. He swung the candle in my direction. "Sakura, what are you doing?"

"You sensed it, too?"

He glimpsed his kunai. "...Yeah. So I wasn't hallucinating."

"There was a man standing – "

"Yutsuki?" Shikamaru walked past me and entered Yutsuki's room.

I released my shadow clone. The white mist made Yutsuki cough and laugh. Shikamaru blew out the flame of his candle. He scooped her up from the crib and embraced her. "Was she frightened?" he asked me.

"She saw the shadow before I did," I said. "Something came over me...l was suddenly queasy and out of balance. The moment the shadow disappeared, I felt fine again."

"...It's the same case with me, only I didn't feel too sick."

"How in the world did that happen?"

"It's like standing up too quickly. Maybe we're just tired."

"Should we wake your parents?"

"It's not an intruder." Shikamaru scanned the room. "Dad would have sensed the chakra of a stranger who so much as touches the wall."

"Are you sure?"

"Why were you using candlelight? There's a lamp next to the bed."

I glimpsed the corridor once more. "Yutsuki's eyes are sensitive. She reddened with the stress when I turned the lamp on. You were expecting an enemy, weren't you? That's why you lit _your_ candle."

"I'm not in shape," he said. "Better for me to set an assailant on fire in the dark than battle him in the light."

"Who could it be?"

Shikamaru draped the blanket over Yutsuki's head and switched on the light. Yutsuki hid her eyes by pressing her face against his neck.

"Let's go downstairs," he said. "If Uncle Toya was playing a prank on us, he'd be giggling in his room so loud that he'll surely wake Neji."

"Right." I zipped up my jacket and pocketed a second kunai. "Let's go and check."

We travelled the corridors in silence. Shikamaru held my forearm as we descended the staircase blindly. He assured me of our safety by saying that he was accustomed to exploring his house in the dark. Besides, turning on the lights would wake his parents and the last thing he wanted was to disturb their sleep. They, more than anybody else, deserved a break.

I wanted to add that I came second in the list of people who deserved a pardon from people's judgements, but decided that it would be better to let him apologize on his own time.

We landed on the first floor without twisting our ankles. Shikamaru, Yutsuki, and I listened for any noise coming from the guest rooms.

"He's asleep," hissed Shikamaru, incredulous. "But he's the only one who'd do such a stupid thing. Do you sense a presence, Sakura?"

"No. The house is peaceful."

"I'll go and switch the lights in the kitchen. If Yutsuki is warned that she'll be entering a bright place, the light won't harm her, right?"

I hefted Yutsuki by her underarms and transferred her to me. "Yup. I'll notice if she reacts."

"Okay." Shikamaru rubbed his knuckles against his eyes to shed off his drowsiness and he started for the kitchen.

I patted Yutsuki's back. She kicked my stomach. I winced. She kneed my breasts. Hoisting her at arm's length away from me, I swallowed a litany of curses and glowered at her. "What's your problem? I'm taking care of you, in case you didn't notice."

She whimpered and flailed her body towards the corridor to our right.

Ahead, the light from the kitchen glowed.

I squinted at the darkness of the corridor; dismissing Shikamaru's beckoning and choosing instead to concentrate on feeling my surroundings. Yutsuki jabbed two fingers in the air with a force that told me I should be seeing something every person with two eyes would see.

The murk about us thickened. I could barely distinguish the outline of a gaping door in the series of guest rooms. As I was about to tell Toya that his antic was scaring Yutsuki, a shadow glided into the room and shut the door.

I blinked at Yutsuki, and she at me.

Shikamaru rejoined us at the base of the staircase, hands on his hips. "Did you hear me?"

"Hey, is that room occupied?"

"What room?"

"The second one."

"That's where mum lets non-relatives stay," he said. "Neji should be comfortable enough in there."


	11. Chapter Ten

**Fingers around My Toes**

**By Lapiz Liberty**

**Summary: **Shikamaru and Sakura ended the rebirth case with the conviction that they have lost each other once and for all. As Tsunade stitches that case close, Orochimaru greets them with a surprise that will force the former lovers to beat the odds a second time – whether they remember their past or not.

* * *

**Chapter Ten**

**Shikamaru:**

"How are you settling in?

"Good, I guess. Though, it's only really been a couple of hours."

"Right." I turned on the stove and placed the kettle on top. Its metal surface distorted my reflection. Funny, I thought, because everything about me in this moment was distorted. Shaking my head to rid off my drowsiness, I returned to my chair and leaned back to relax. "Shouldn't she be asleep already?" I said.

"She's adjusting to the formula I fed her for dinner. In the meantime, she'll be asleep in the morning and awake in the evening." Sakura sat with her legs up to support Yutsuki. My baby sister sorted the pink hair of her medic, attempting to pluck a handful and discovering that she lacked strength to accomplish that.

"And so will you?" I asked to sustain the conversation.

"Yeah."

"Your job is demanding."

"You owe me an apology, in case you've forgotten." She glimpsed me through the corner of her eye. Yutsuki blinked at me, wondering.

I rubbed my nape and pretended to be enduring a stiff neck. "...Yes, I do."

"Well?"

Turning on my chair, I straightened my back, cleared my throat, and looked her in the eyes. "Sakura, I'm very sorry."

She propped up her elbow on the table behind her and looked at me. "I am, too," she said. "I didn't mean to call you a son of a bitch."

"You don't have to repeat it."

"Sorry," she said. "It just really hurt me, you know? My promotion was the last thing I had in mind when I confirmed Yutsuki's disease. Right now, it doesn't even weigh on me anymore. A lot of people are going through harder circumstances."

Folding my arms against my chest, I said, "I didn't...apologize right away because I was trying to think straight. Think right. What is the right way to do it? For all the recognition I get in the Intelligence Division, I couldn't muster enough cleverness to make a worthy apology. I realize now how much I still have to learn if I want to succeed dad."

"You just say it. I'm sorry. That's enough. It doesn't have to be flowery. We nearly died in a mission and got amnesia together – you don't have to be so shy anymore."

"No, not for you," I said, forcing myself to smile at her. "Dad told me what you did. You told him about Yutsuki before anybody else. You gave him the opportunity to be strong for mum and me. You considered my family and all that we're going through."

She adjusted Yutsuki in her arms. "Lady Tsunade is an excellent master. She deserves the credit."

"And I...uhm...am happy that you're here for me." I shook my head and motioned to Yutsuki. "I-I mean, for my baby sister and – yeah – _me_."

"Well, I'm also your doctor now. I'll be looking over the Nara heir. If ever I get bored of hospital drama, I expect you to hire me as the official clan doctor."

"Clan doctor? You'll be taking advantage of my specie."

"You bet I will. You've got plenty of ancient medical recipes that you don't share with us – Lady Tsunade told me. The first point of order will be to publish all those."

I fetched the kettle and poured hot water on our mugs. "We don't publish them because they only work on mentally unstable people – those from my clan, specifically."

"Are you serious?"

"Maybe."

"I don't think I'll ever marry into your clan."

I glimpsed her while I scooped spoonfuls of powdered cocoa from the container and dropped them into the hot water. "Why not?"

"_Why not?"_ She gawked. "If I marry a Nara, I'm sure my first child will be singing the alphabet backwards and my second child will be asking me why humans have arms instead of wings."

"I don't think my children will be that odd."

"No, you're different," she said. "Your child will hardly kick his mother's womb."

I slid her mug towards her. "Did mum tell you?"

"Tell me what?"

"Dad brought her to the hospital often because I only kicked once every hour during her ninth month of pregnancy." I sat on my chair and blinked, the steam from the hot cocoa hazing my vision. "They thought something was wrong with me. The doctor assured them that I was alive – just lazy. I practically slept my creation through to my first breath of air in the real world."

"You should really hire me as your doctor so your future wife won't panic when she has Shikamaru Jr. growing in her tummy." Sakura sipped her drink and scolded Yutsuki for dipping her forefinger into the mug. My sister pouted at me and showed me her reddening fingertip.

I dragged my chair closer to hers and hefted Yutsuki onto my lap. "Maybe I should marry a medic instead to save myself from the troublesome task of hiring you."

"Too bad Ino's taken." She kissed Yutsuki's fingertip. "If only you asked her out a lot sooner..."

"I thought we already agreed that she's better off an audience in this chaos I'm stuck in?"

"You want to avoid her drama." She saluted me. "Got it."

"I'd know where I screwed up if I only remember anything from last year." I scratched the back of my ear and looked away. "But...let's not talk about it. I'm sure you'd rather not."

Sakura wrapped her hands around the mug and lifted it to her lips. She stared at its content, making me wonder if she was studying her reflection like I did earlier. It's not that I minder her silence. She wasn't the type of girl to fidget when the conversation was suddenly put to a halt. In fact, she may just be the type of girl who wouldn't mind pausing to think over a certain aspect of the discussion. In that entire minute wherein I had the privilege to watch the light play in her green eyes and her breathing match the pace of her thoughts, I thought I knew her better.

Maybe that relationship dad branded as 'unhealthy' started as something good...something like this, because I couldn't deny the solace I found in our silence. Deep in my bones, I felt as though this wasn't the first silence we've given each other. It was safe, and I might just fall asleep kindly tonight.

"Shikamaru," she mumbled, lifting her gaze from the mug at last. "Do you think you could have fallen in love last year and just forget?"

I closed my mouth and bit my tongue. "I wouldn't know, Sakura. Why?"

"It's just that..." She lowered her feet to the floor and leaned forward to whisper, "If you forget about that person but you know you shared something...sort of special, don't you owe that person?"

My arms weakened. Yutsuki plopped on my lap and clutched my shirt to maintain her position. She could hear my heart pounding – I knew my sister could. "Sakura, do you know?" I hissed.

"Do... you?"

"Yeah." I embraced Yutsuki, using her as shield. "Ino told me not to tell you, but since you already know...I'm not sure how to wrap my head around it."

Sakura broke into a smile. "Relax. You don't choose whether or not you hear gossip. It just wafts pass you like a fly and you have no choice but to notice it."

"...What gossip?"

"About Neji and I," she said. "Why? Were we talking about different things?"

"N-n-no!" I faked a laugh. "No. I was referring to the gossip, really."

"Shikamaru, I know this is awkward, but there's no one else I can turn to right now."

"W-what is it?"

Sakura opened and closed her mouth. She tucked her hair behind her ear. She finished her hot cocoa. "If you were the one who, let's say, who shared a special relationship with me and you forgot, but someone tells you that the relationship did exist, won't you feel like you owe me something?"

Deep inside of me, the shadow of the Shikamaru who remembered our relationship recoiled. I liked to think that I did remember but I had forgotten it by choice because that choice was best for the both of us. It prevented me from mulling over the possibility that I had caused her sadness.

But she made even that shadow recoil and hurt. Hurt very much, in fact. I owed her something; I thought as I stared wide-eyed at her and tried not to gawk. I wanted to give her an answer, but all that my mind could formulate was this: "I'm about to be engaged to a stranger tomorrow."

She jolted, as though shaken to wakefulness by my response. "Yeah." She shook her head. "Sorry. That was petty of me. I forgot you have _that _to deal with tomorrow. I'll take Yutsuki to her room now."

I hoisted Yutsuki up for her to grab. With her arms full, she kicked the chair back under the table.

Sakura dawdled in front of the door while she debated on whether or not to say anything further to me. Before I could be the first to bid her goodnight, she crossed the threshold.

Once she entered the darkness of the hall, I jumped to my feet and called her name. She didn't return to the kitchen. I heard her footsteps on the staircase and listened as her presence drifted far from me.

That was a cheap trick to use; reminding her of my engagement to shun her need for answers.

So stupid of me.

I finished my hot cocoa and lingered in the kitchen for a few minutes longer before giving in to my body's yearning for sleep. My bed hadn't felt so comfortable until then, and my pillow had never been softer. Inside my head was a brain overwhelmed with panic and disappointment. Sometimes, I just didn't know what to think anymore.

The moonlight cast bars of shadows across my bedroom floor. It caught the dozen leaves' shadows as they floated past my window. I thought of a cherry blossom tree shedding its flowers. I thought of Sakura and what I could possibly owe her.

I rolled on my back and sat up. When the haze of moving too quickly had faded, I tiptoed out of my room and to Yutsuki's. "Sakura?" I hissed. "Sakura?"

I heard her grumble.

"Sakura?"

Her footsteps were light on the wooden floor. Her silhouette grew larger as she approached. The door slid to the right and Sakura lifted her head to see me through her half-open eyes. "Yeah?"

I glanced at the hall to make sure mum and dad were not loitering about. Sakura yawned without covering her mouth, warning me that she would fall back into dreamland if I wasted another second.

I gripped the doorframe and took a deep breath. "I won't try to revive what we did have. Instead I'll focus on what I can do for you now, because you're right – I do owe you. I was stupid for hurting you and I'll be the stupidest man alive if I ever hurt you again. I want you to be happy because you deserve it. That's what I'd say...to your question earlier. Remember?"

Sakura rubbed her eyes. "Shikamaru, I'm sleepy."

"I thought you're supposed to be awake at night."

"It's my first night here." She sighed. "I'm still adjusting, and so is your sister. Or do you need anything from me? Are you unwell, Shikamaru?"

"I just wanted to answer your question."

Sakura brushed her bangs off her face. "Thanks. Don't worry; Neji's not the bullying type. He was actually real sweet and mature earlier, helping me with Yutsuki despite of what I did to him... Goodnight?"

"Yeah, goodnight."

She closed the door. I heard the bed squeak. A small ball of flame appeared. It grew and revealed itself to be candlelight. Pages shuffled. Sakura must be studying.

My head snapped to the hallway. I crept down the staircase again, nearly tripping out of mindlessness, and hurried to the front porch. My eyes locked on the gate. This presence wasn't the same overpowering one that Sakura and I felt earlier; this was familiar chakra standing still in front of my house.

Pulling the gate inwards, I squinted at the darkness and recognized the man as Sai. He stood in the middle of the street, looking up at my house.

He lowered his gaze to me, nodded, and walked away as though it was broad daylight and he just so happened to pass by a friends' home.

Weird.

**Sakura:**

I fell asleep, eventually, and became victim to a dream that would haunt me for the rest of the morning. I was lucky that when I woke up, Yutsuki was already rolling in her crib and anxious to capture my attention. She only took four naps the entire evening – more if she cheated on me while my eyes were closed.

Her response to the formula I fed her was satisfactory and this encouraged me to try and bask her in the first rays of sunlight while morning dawned on the village. According to the case study, this should reveal to me whether her violent reactions were due to the presence of sunlight itself or the shock of receiving its brightness and heat all at once.

This was what my medical skills were good for – distracting me. As I shuffled about in Yutsuki's room, gathering the necessities of this experiment that would require at least an hour of strolling the streets and observing a baby, I suppressed the urge to peer outside the room and see whether Shikamaru had awoken yet.

After all, the dream involved him.

If the dream started and ended with his kiss, I would have been flustered and nothing more. That was the problem – there was something more. At first, I thought I hadn't been dreaming. The scene opened in this room and our interaction instigated by his beckoning for me to open the door. Sleepy and stiff, I had obeyed and accommodated him at the door. "Yutsuki's very sensitive," I had told him. "You can't keep on waking me in these hours. I need to save your sister."

But he didn't seem to be listening. His pupils were focused on mine and he leaned down to plant a kiss on my lips. Gentle, soothing, meaningful; all in all, the kiss was frightening. It was the hug before the punch, the compliments before the 'BUT'. It's like saying he wanted me but couldn't be with me, and he explained this by taking my hand and leading me to the cemetery.

There, he pointed at a tombstone. "That's mine," he said. He pointed at the one next to it. "That's yours."

I had wanted to inspect my name on the tombstone but was distracted by the miniature versions of it arranged in columns directly in front of ours. They were like the offspring of our death – the inevitable effect of our end.

Of course, in every dream, the dreamer had to ask the obvious: who died?

Shikamaru shook his head. "Not us. Although, those tombstones are ours. The miniature ones belong to important people. People you and I love – people we love but cannot save. C'mon, let's say goodbye to them." Then he hooked our arms together and pulled me to the right side of the cemetery, where I saw the silhouettes of familiar people. I couldn't name them, but I knew Shikamru was right when he said that I loved them. And they were just standing there as a group, dark and dead.

So I decided to be quick and take a stroll to vanquish the residues of the fright given to me by that dream. Dressed in a casual blue kimono, I carried Yutsuki downstairs to see who among the family members were already up and about to see Yutsuki off.

From the top of the staircase, I could hear the scrapping of furniture against the floor as they were being moved. Several footfalls brought to life the east wing of the house and, as I reached the middle of the stairs, I began to see the owners of those footfalls.

Male and female servants scurried about with bundles of garland, flowers, and metal ornaments in their arms. One of the young men nodded at me as I passed by. I nodded back and travelled to the drawing room where either Shikaku or Toya would normally be. If they were absent there, I would surely find Yoshino in the kitchen at least. Women, after all, were made to govern events like these. She'd be awake without a doubt.

Fortunately, all three adults were in the drawing room. Toya was the first to notice me. He paused from drinking his tea and raised his glass in my direction. "There's our princess and her beautiful doctor! Good morning!"

Shikaku and Yoshino stood at the sight of us. They greeted me with a smile, and Yoshino took Yutsuki from me for a quick embrace. I reported their daughter's positive response to the formula and enlightened them with my intention to take her out for a stroll.

"Won't it be bad for her?" Yoshino asked.

"I have to observe her under various settings, ma'am."

Shikaku stroked his beard. "Where will your route be?"

"I'll try to keep to the border," I said. "Fewer people will see me there and ask why I'm with Yutsuki."

Toya raised his glass again and greeted the person behind me. Turning, I saw Neji approach. He bowed to Shikaku and Yoshino. "It'll be quieter if our route involves the farmer's district. I know the place. I think testing Yutsuki's responses should begin with a setting as gentle as that."

"Oh," I said before I could stop myself. "I forgot."

"I won't bother you," he said.

"No, it's alright. That wasn't what I meant. I meant I forgot about Suna and all." I adjusted the strap of the sling bag across my torso. "We still have to discuss that, don't we?"

Neji looked at Shikaku. "You haven't told her, sir?"

Shikaku chuckled. "It passed my mind! I'm getting more and more forgetful these past few days, aren't I, Yoshino?"

"Hear, hear!" cheered Toya.

Shikaku grimaced at him. He folded his arms across his chest and turned to me. "Well, Sakura, I sent one of my men to go to Suna for the purpose of discussing your case with the judges of the Jounin Exams. You still have to steer clear of any mishap for the next two weeks to support your claim that you didn't cheat your way to victory, but if my representative manages to trample on their faulty accusations of you, there's a big chance you'll get your promotion the same day the rest of the examinees do."

Yutsuki extended her arms towards me. Yoshino gave me her baby. "This favour is merely a small show of gratitude. I'm sure your parents would have proposed the same course of action had they been around to shoulder this burden with you."

I bit my lower lip. They trembled even when I told them not to. The back of my eyes stung and I had to take deep breaths to prevent myself from crying. "That's so very kind of you," I mumbled.

Yoshino ran her hand along the length of my arm. "You must miss your parents terribly."

"Yes."

"I'll write to them to inform them that you'll be with us for the time being."

"That would be great. Mom would worry less. She doesn't believe I can last on my own."

"That's what parents are supposed to do," chided Toya as he stood. "We worry. We worry a lot and it does us no good because worry doesn't change a thing."

Shikaku frowned at him. "Worry is inevitable, and it doesn't make us weak or insufficient."

Toya bobbed his head fast, his hands gripping his waist and his eyes cast down on the table. Yoshino clapped once to divert our attention from him. "Sakura, Neji, you'll have to be back within an hour, though. Shikamaru's bride and her party will be arriving at seven o'clock. I'll still have to prepare Yutuski."

Before we left the Nara's house, I glimpsed the staircase in the hopes that Shikamaru would come down in time to see us off. I wanted to see how he would look today, knowing his fate was being bound to a stranger. Would the dread be evident in his gaze? Or would he confront this challenge with his chin held high and his fears well-imprisoned at the back of his mind?

Yutsuki's shuffling jerked me back to the present, where I was currently turning the corner that led to the farmer's district. Her eyelids hung low. Her mouth parted wider with every exhale. She snuggles her head against my neck and finally found a comfortable angle.

"Is she falling asleep?" Neji whispered. He stepped closer to peer at the baby.

"If she's allergic to sunlight, she'll wake up within the next twenty minutes."

"When the sun's up?"

"Yeah."

The underwater ambiance of dawn evaporated slowly from the village. I covered my mouth as I yawn. I was never a nature-lover, but I wouldn't mind sleeping on the grass this once if my body needed the rest.

Neji gripped my elbow. "Are you dozing off?"

"No-o." I yawned again. "I'm fine. Just had a rough first night studying and observing Yutsuki. By the way...do you sleepwalk, Neji?"

"Sleepwalk?"

"Walking while asleep, yes."

"I know what sleepwalking is, Sakura," he said. "Why do you ask?"

I shrugged one shoulder and pretend to be scanning the rice fields. Two farmers were already up and about, scrutinizing their work. "No particular reason."

He scowled. "No particular reason? Were you attempting to start a conversation?"

"Lower your voice." I prodded my chin towards Yutsuki.

Neji transferred to my right side, aware of the slope of land that led to the rice fields. "I apologize if I made you feel awkward with what I said yesterday. You don't have to put in the effort to be casual with me."

"Look, Neji." I stopped walking. "It's not your fault. You don't have to be sorry for making me feel any emotion. If I'm upset, it's not because you...loved me but because I can't remember. The last thing I want to do is to hurt people. And...and I honestly don't want to hurt you."

Neji opened his mouth and closed it. He craned his neck to glance behind him, at the sun rising from behind the mountains. I studied his face; I wondered what he was thinking, of whether he thought of our past or our present.

Yutsuki stirred. She embraced my neck and yawned. I rested my chin on top of her head. "Neji, there's something I have to tell you."

"...I made it clear that this doesn't bother me."

"I was a jerk yesterday for confronting you like that. I was insensitive to you by mentioning Ayano and accusing you of infidelity," I said.

"You were frustrated, Sakura. It was obvious." He massaged the underside of his left eye to suppress the protruding nerve . "You don't have to explain."

"I'm not finished yet." I swallowed hard. "I want to say that I won't revive what we did have; instead, I'll focus on what I can do for you now because I'm sure that I owe you for all the kindness you're showing me. I was stupid for turning you down and I'd be the stupidest girl alive if I turn you down again. I-I'm not implying that I want you to ask me out but I don't think I'd mind if...you do."

Neji stared down at me. At last, after a long pause, he said, "I want to, but my main concern is if you're ready. Will you be comfortable with the idea of dating me when you have plenty of burdens to shoulder?"

"How will I know if I don't try?"

He glimpsed the stretch of road to our right and to our left. "I am not exactly certain how I can ask you out when we're currently residing in the same house."

"...I'll have a day off?"

He smiled. A slight crease appeared between his brows. "Alright. We'll start from there."

"Wait," I said. "Isn't your clan strict about these things?"

"Sakura, I'm going to court you, not propose to you."

"You make it sound as though I was implying that – dream on."

We continued our stroll.

He stretched his arms overhead. "And if I ever choose to propose marriage to you, there's always a way to make things work as I please. I won't be head of my clan. I am in the position to listen to my heart instead of my duties when it comes to those things."

My cheeks burned. My chakra level rose. I willed it to revert to its normal flow before he sensed my agitated state.. "Neji...if I turned you down before, what were you doing in my apartment those nights you stayed over?"

"You were having nightmares," he said. "You told me during one session of the acupressure therapy, and I knew how it felt to be afraid of the dark; hence I promised to watch over you until the nightmares went away."

I wiped the sweat skating down my jaw.

"What did you assume?"

"A-At least I wasn't drunk!" I laughed. "I-I'm kind of crazy when I'm drunk. I might have embarrassed you or something. Phew."

Neji scoffed. "You were, the first time I was at your apartment. I saved you from public humiliation, after which you rewarded me with a trash bin full of vomit and an uncomfortable experience sleeping on an armchair with a drunken woman passed out on my lap."

"What?" I covered Yutsuki's ears. "_Seriously?"_

"You might as well know that we weren't romantic in the beginning."

"And..._later_?"

He pouted and resumed walking ahead of me.

"Neji!"

Chuckling, he turned around and said, "You're flustered."

"I'm not! Stop teasing me."

"I'm not teasing you."

"You're not answering my question, either."

His glee calmed into a wan smile. "I will never take advantage of you, Sakura."

Sunlight touched Yutsuki's face. She quivered. I turned my back on the sun. Tears streamed from her eyes. Neji stepped closer and stretched his arm to aid in shielding her. Yutsuki cried aloud. Neji jumped backwards, startled.

I rubbed her back. "Calm down. You'll be alright. We'll go home. We're going home now." I glanced at Neji. "What's wrong?"

He looked at the baby and then at me. "She's afraid of me."

"She's not afraid of you." I offered Yutsuki to her. "C'mon, take her. If you're going to be following me around, she'll have to be as comfortable with you as she is with me.."

Neji tried not to frown at me. With a deep breath, he scooped Yutsuki from me and nestled her against him. She gripped my thumb, unwilling to let go. Neji shifted his weight to his other leg. "Will she be fine with me?" he asked.

"She's not crying, is she?"

"Does this mean she's reacting to the sunlight itself?"

Touching his elbows, I turned him towards the rice field so Yutsuki caught a bit of light. She blinked and buried her face on Neji's chest. I brushed her hair with my fingers. "It's not the sun. She's merely having trouble registering it all at once. You picked the right location for this experiment."

"Will this discovery make your work easier for you?"

"Absolutely," I said, grinning. "She can undergo some sort of rehabilitation and avoid the drugs, which will spare her growth from being stunted."

He tipped his head sideways to allow his hair to screen the baby from the light. "Shall we pass under the shade?"

"Yes," I said. "Let's go home."

I allowed Neji to take the lead while I jotted notes on my notepad. As I was scribbling the list of medical studies that could be related to this case, my fingers weakened and I lost my train of thoughts. I watched Neji make his way to the entry of the farmer's district with Yutsuki coiled in ball against his chest.

Worry struck me.

He rotated his neck and touched a spot above his collarbone. A tingling in my spine surfaced – the same tingling I felt yesterday evening.

Yutsuki wouldn't close her eyes to sleep. She was tired but awake, as though patiently waiting in silent alarm.

I tucked my note pad in my skirt pocket and follow them. One foot forward, and I stopped. Craning my neck to look back, I saw Sai lingering on the network of mud pathways that criss-crossed the rice fields. He glanced at me and nothing more, although I was certain that he must have been watching us.

He walked away.

Konoha was partly awake by the time we made it to the series of streets that wound up to the main district. Most of the shops had opened their doors and rolled up their windows to greet the early risers. Neji was prompt to spot TenTen dawdling on the mouth of the road, yelling for the owner of the fireworks shop to let her in.

He snatched my arm and guided me into an alleyway, explaining that the last person we wanted to encounter today was TenTen. After all, it was through her that he even knew about the existence of gossip.

We travelled through the alleys with little to say to each other. Halfway our journey, both of us must have been struck by the significance of today's event for the Nara family. Neither of us voiced our thoughts, but I was sure that our ponderings centred on Shikamaru and his bride.

I lifted two fingers to my lips.

Why had Shikamaru kissed me in the dream?

Why must a kiss predate the revelation of deaths?

The gate swings from its hinges. Male and female servants come and go. Neji transfers Yutsuki to me and excuses himself to seek Shikaku. "He might need an extra hand," he said.

I manoeuvred past the servants in the front lawn and stepped into the main hall. Toya stumbles out of a room at that moment. He curses aloud while examining his big toe, causing Yutsuki to wake and giggle. He spots us and says, "Finally, you're back! Sakura, sweetheart, deliver the princess to her bedroom. The queen of the household is in distress. She needs to doll up her daughter to release her frustration and return to her human form. Go on, then. Shoo. Up the stairs you go!"

I did not reply to him for two reasons: no response suited his irony and he convinced me that I was mentally incapable of coping with his oddness. With a curt bow and a 'thank you', I climbed the stairs and suppressed a yawn.

I wondered if I would be permitted to sleep through the entire event.

The second landing was quiet. I rubbed my eyes with my knuckles to check whether I had fallen asleep and was imagining this. I ran my hand along the wall to guide my steps. As I rounded the corner, a man appeared from the adjacent hall and leapt backward to prevent a collision with me.

I wrapped my arm around Yutsuki's head out of reflex and bent my knees, my feet apart for balance.

"Hey!" We say in unison.

I blinked twice. I gawked. "Shikamaru?"

He straightened his stance and ran his hands across his kimono, smoothing down the creases. "Hey. You scared me."

I eyed him from head to toe.

He furrowed his brows scratched the back of his head. "Sakura, it would be nice if you don't laugh at me."

"I'm-I'm not laughing." I closed my mouth and swallowed. "It's...wow. I've never seen you with your hair down."

"I'm not supposed to let it down except for ceremonies like these." He touched the tip of his hair, as though checking if its length was acceptable.

Pools of heat gathered in my cheeks. I meant to tell him that I had never seen him like this – like man with a face and a stature that made me stare long enough to forget myself. How could a change of hairdo and a touch of face-paint around his eyes and along his cheeks change him from a shinobi so ordinary to an heir so beautiful?

His half-coat, a glistening green emblazoned with his family crest, broadened his already broad shoulders. The rest of the robe hung from his body with folds that complimented his physique. But it wasn't the revelation of his lean, masculine built that stunned me. My astonishment centred on his pair of dark eyes, made even darker by the drawings of leaves and deer rising in a blur from his lids to his forehead.

"Sakura?"

"Huh?"

His face flushed a bright pink as he motioned to himself. "Is it okay?"

I nodded again and again. Yutsuki shifted in my arms, deep asleep. "Yeah. It's okay," I said. "You look nice."

"Do you need help getting back to your room? You're dazed."

"I'm not dazed." I tucked strands of my hair behind my ears. "Tired, is all. Your mother is waiting for me. I'm going. Good luck!" I ducked my head as I walked past him. My stomach churned, and I was sure that this was anything but hunger.

"Sakura!"

I stumbled to a halt and looked at him from over my shoulder. "Y-yeah?"

"Thank you," he said. "For what you told me when we were in your apartment...about getting engaged to a stranger? I know that in the end, there will be no need for me to marry this woman, but I don't want to treat her any less than she deserves after being welcomed to my family. I hope she and I can be good friends, if not lovers. That would be best for my family, don't you think?"

"You do know that I'm not very credible in giving love advice, right?"

He snickered. "I listen to those who sincerely care."

"You're already forgiven, Shikamaru. You don't have to be such a kiss-ass."

"I wasn't kissing ass," he said. "I was complimenting you - practicing my skills in charming brutal women to spare the life of a currently incapacitated clan heir."

"I am not brutal. I dare you to call me that again."

He raised his hands in surrender. "Strong. Brutally strong and remarkably heroic."

"That sounds better." I grinned.

He smiled at me. "I'll see you at the feast in the evening?"

"Don't get yourself hurt by a woman, Shikamaru," I grumbled. "Seriously. I'm sure your fiancé won't be as bad as you think."

He sighed. "I hope you're right."

"Hey, about last night..."

"I thought I was forgiven?"

"What do you think about that presence we felt? Not to be paranoid but...you know, it could be the toothpick man/woman from the Jounin Exams."

"Or it could be Grandpa Michio's ghost haunting me for needing a woman to guarantee my inheritance." He strode towards me, leaned down, and kissed Yutsuki's head. "Wish me luck, princess," he whispered.

I couldn't let my breath out. When he lifted his gaze to clash with mine, concern dominated his features. My knees buckled. A giggle curdled in my throat. "Good luck," I squeaked.

He groaned. "You really need to rest, groggy."

If I were to be honest, I would have admitted that sleep was impossible with the intensity of my heart rate. Medics knew best, and since I was the best medic, I was certain this infection was physical.

Yutsuki flattened her palm between my breasts. As I made my way to her room, I whispered, "Don't tell your brother."

Yoshino allowed me to take a nap while she dressed her daughter, after which she loan me a green kimono to wear as part of the full compliment that the bride expected to have. I would not be permitted to enter the hearth room once the ceremony began; nevertheless, I should be ready in case Yutsuki needed my attention.

"Exceptions can be made," she told me. "We wouldn't want my daughter harmed by mere tradition. I hate these ceremonies. They always take too long. I recall wanting to collapse during my engagement to Shikaku. He took forever to weave the plant fibres in my hair and connect it with his."

I fixed the obi around my waist and tied a lace of a similar colour around my hair. "This bride knows that she won't be marrying Shikamaru, right?"

"It depends on you, partly."

"E-excuse me?"

"You're handling Shikamaru's case now. His recovery depends on you, too." She dipped a paintbrush in a pot of green ink and drew a circle on my forehead. "This symbolizes your partnership with us. Servants will have the family insignia painted on both cheeks. Why are you curious about their marriage, anyway?"

I pinned my bangs back so it wouldn't mess the paint. "Shikamaru's a friend. I bumped into him earlier and he seemed nervous. I'm only a bit worried."

"Don't be." She chuckled. "Yei Hano and my son have history."

I mumbled that name to myself as I joined the group of people standing on parallel lines from the gate to the entrance of the house. It wasn't a very striking name; the images it produced were of women with long swords dragging behind them after a kill and of brown skins scarred by years of battling.

Neji and Toya walked around the garden and injected themselves in the opposite line where the males stood. The Nara insignia was painted on their foreheads, too.

I found myself staring inside the house in anticipation of glimpsing the entire main family together. I hoped that Shikamaru would go through this with the same authority and grace that Shikaku always wore.

The singing of the lute deepened the silence in the front lawn. I turned my head towards the gate and saw dozens of men dressed in black standing outside. They marched into the estate in single file, their footfalls sounding a rhythm that grew louder as more men joined in the journey towards the house.

I stood on my toes to see past the crowd of never-ending men outside to catch a glimpse of any woman in their group, but it was an impossible feat when all of them donned the same pulled back, raven hair, stern expressions, and dark outfits.

So when she did appear, it took me a couple of seconds to register her identity. This particular person clad herself in the same clothes and stomped on the gravel pathway with the same fervour as the guards. I may have noticed her because by the time it was her turn to enter, I was half-asleep and watching the feet of the men flow by us like a river.

Her feet were small and wrapped in bulky, black boots that reached to her knees. A black belt encircled a waist that was as thick as my arm, and an estimate of three layers of clothing hid any hint of her breasts. I would have dismissed her as an ambitious boy joining in the responsibilities of his clan's men, but her face recompensed for whatever shortcomings her body and aesthetics had.

Yei Hano clutched the hilt of her sword as she crossed the pathway. She raised her chin and scanned the grounds with small eyes made sharp with black eyeliner. Aside from that, her pale face held no other sign of cosmetics. Her high bun bounced with every stride.

She walked past me and left a trail of her scent – one that wasn't luring but evidence enough of her realness – and I finally had to accept that Ino's beauty had been surpassed by another human being.

Yei Hano paused at the doorway, released the hilt of her sword, and looked over her shoulder – at me.

**Shikamaru:**

The guards outlined every inch of the hallway that led to the hearth room. None of them would notice the cracks on the ceiling of the west wing, what with their focus lying solely on the proper execution of this ceremony.

I stood taller, pushing by chest out and rolling my shoulders back to match the severity with which they were approaching this event. Mum and dad stood in silence a few feet behind me. I glimpsed my right to check whether the sound of the marching guards had awakened my sister.

Mum lifted Yutsuki higher for me to see. "She'll be fine, Shikamaru," she hissed.

I meditated on the fact that this engagement would benefit not only my parents, but my sister, too. She needed me to secure this position so I could continue to support her medication even if dad could no longer be around.

Two other guards joined the five who were already standing against the opposite wall with their spears held in front of them.

My gaze dropped to a female guard following the two, tall ones. She stopped by the doorway to eye the room – an act practiced by guards who were at sentry level – and found me.

A sense of familiarity clouted my brain, but I dismissed that notion. It would have been impossible for me to forget a woman this enchanting.

She marched up to me and bowed her head. "Long time no see," she chirped.

I blinked several times to fill in the seconds it took for me to muster my voice. "P-pardon?"

"Lo-ong...ti-me...no-o...seeee." She mouthed each word and ended with a smile.

Her statement took a while to sink in. I was too distracted by her face. I shook my head. "Forgive me, but I don't know you." Peering over her head, I searched the line of guards for a woman in a green kimono and a crown of flowers. She should have had her turn to enter by now.

The female guard followed my line of sight. "Who are we waiting for, Shikamaru?"

"W-what?" I shook my head again. "Wait, why are you beside me? Go find your place."

"You don't remember me?" She punched my shoulder. "Asshole! I'm Yei!"

I slammed my hand over her mouth. "Watch your language, lady. Wait. Wait! Yei? _Yei Hano_?"

She slapped my hand away from her. "Who else, idiot?"

"But-" I looked at her from head to two twice. "You're a woman!"

"I've always been a woman."

"No, I mean – you-ah, never mind!" I grabbed her shoulders, half carried her to my left, and told her to find her place. "This isn't the time to mock me, Yei. Geez, why did they let you join this ceremony?"

"Do you want me to beat you up again?" She seized my wrists and tugged my hands off her. "I can make you cry as easily as when we were children, in case you've forgotten. Hey, who are you waiting for?"

The last of the guards had taken up his post in the hall. I freed myself from her grip. "Yei, if you kidnapped my fiancé to ruin my day, I will have Kaemon beat you with a rod. What prank are you playing this time?"

Dad put his hand on my shoulder. "Shikamaru-"

"I'm her." Yei pointed to herself. "I'm your fiancé."

I rolled my eyes. "Please. You're the last person I'd marry. Now spit it out. Where-"

The guards at the back of the room and in the hallways bit their lips inwards to suppress a smirk. One of them stifled a laugh. Behind me, mum cleared her throat and said nothing to break the reigning awkwardness in the house.

I gawked at Yei. These guards surrounding us were her brothers in clan service – men with enough sanity as I did to disbelieve this twist in my fate that led me to promise my life to a girl like Yei Hano.

She blushed and scowled upon noticing her comrades' reactions.

My blood pressure dropped and the world hazed and I wanted someone to call Sakura because I was sure that I was going to faint. She entered my sight, her face more ethereal with the mixture of anger and concern it harboured, and the situation settled into a calm tide inside of me at last. I meant to announce the start of the ceremony, but what came out of my mouth instead was: "_What a_ _drag_."

Yei, being Yei, had enough of the guards' smirking and ended her humiliation by punching me in the stomach. "I warned you," she grumbled, watching as I bent over her first. I gagged. My fingers tightened around her wrist and felt the round beads of her bracelet embed themselves on my skin.

The guards resumed their stoic act.

Dad smacked palm against his forehead. "How about we begin before this turns into war?"

I looked at dad from the corner of my eye, and I promised myself that he would pay for this.

**Tsunade:**

I closed the door of my office. Jiraiya slid lower on my chair. He fiddled with the documents on my desk and did nothing to acknowledge me. Inoichi greeted him and proceeded to return the books to the shelf on the farther right corner of the room.

Jiraiya groaned. "Before I tell you the bad news, please tell me you have a snippet of good news on your part."

"Yei Hano has arrived," I said. "She'll be joining us in a meeting later in the evening, once everyone in the Nara household is passed out from the banquet."

He stood and paced, his wrinkles deepening the longer he contemplated his unsaid dilemma. I took my seat in case he stole my place again. "Oh, c'mon, Jiraiya. If you have bad news, you might as well-"

"I found a mutilated man's corpse floating in a pond not far from the village," he said. He stopped and turned to face me with his hands on his hips. "It's not the first, is it? You found a mutilated girl outside the village, too. When was that? Two weeks ago? Three?"

"The girl was attacked by an animal."

Inoichi delivered to my desk the set of books I would need to finish my workload for the afternoon. "Here you go, milady. Actually, my team is still confirming that piece of information. We found marks and scents that couldn't have come from an animal."

"See?" Jiraiya grumbled. "Orochimaru's on the move."

"Kabuto is," I said. "We all know Orochimaru's too crippled to move about. Let's consider these warnings as a good sign that they can't act without leaving some sort of evidence of their crime. Has anyone been sent to investigate that mutilated man?"

"I burned him and destroyed the pond."

I withdrew my hand from the drawer's handle. My craving for Sake departed. "You found proof that this man's death is undeniably related to the rebirth case?"

He glimpsed the view of Konoha behind him, as though we were in danger of being overheard by the entire village, and he leaned forward to whisper, "There was a messy collection of ancient scribbling around the pond. I recognized the damned pattern at once." He reached inside his pocket and tossed me a bracelet. "The man was wearing that. It's the only clue to his identity that I can save. The rest surely retained residues of the failed rebirth bullshit."

Inoichi pressed the lock on the doorknob. "Can there possibly be people left in Takeo's program?"

"Why do you say that?"

"If there are no traitors aside from Ryo that Hiroshi doesn't know about, perhaps he has comrades that are still adamant to take down Orochimaru."

"Inoichi, summon Hiroshi here right now." I lifted the bracelet towards the afternoon light. The translucent red beads hid inside it letters formed from plant fibres. "Get Kakashi and Nohara, too. One of them might recognize this."

Inoichi opened the door and exclaimed, "Daisuke!"

Jiraiya and I turned to the man standing outside my office who was frozen to the very tip of his hair. He bowed low and stammered his inquiry of whether he could enter or not. Inoichi stepped aside to let him pass. Daisuke took the doorknob from him and closed the door. "Sir." He bowed at us again. "Lady Hokage. Lord Jiraiya."

"Why so shaken?" Jiraiya asked.

He shivered. "Sir Shikaku is currently not to be disturbed; hence I decided it best to report to you instead. It's about the rebirth case. I-I assume it is – I really do."

"Just say it, Daisuke."

"Master Sho of the Nara Clan is officially missing," he blurted. "He went on his usual voyage to the mountains one week ago and was due to return yesterday. Guards have been sent to search for him but even the forest is clear of any trace of travellers."

I stood and waved my hand. "Wait, stop right there. Who is Master Sho?"

Inoichi closed his eyes. Lines appeared around his mouth as he suppressed a frown. "He is the scholar who keeps the ancient writings of the Nara Clan, which makes him quite the significant person – "

"-because he hides the knowledge that Shikaku and his forefathers have always drawn crucial information from," I finished for him, understanding the situation at once. "This is bad. _This is bad_."

"Tell me those ancient writings are stored and sealed in some kind of vault which is something either than that Master Sho's crippled brain." Jiraiya walked to the centre of the room and scanned our faces. "_Well_?"

"Everything is passed down orally," answered Daisuke. "I'm afraid Orochimaru might have targeted him since he cannot get his claws on Shikamaru as easily."

Jiraiya snatched the bracelet from me and raised it in the air. "Does this look familiar to you, boy?"

He paled. "Only the scholars wear that kind of bracelet. No. Oh no. That's Master Sho's. Only he has the right to wear beads that big. Do you know where he is? If you have that, does this mean that he..."

"Shit." Jiraiya pinched his nose-bridge. "Shit. Someone has to tell Shikaku now and have the other scholars guarded. How does their clan thing work? Does this Master Sho have a successor?"

Inoichi cursed under his breath and looked me in the eyes. "Milady, Yei Hano was his successor before she quit to take up the sword for her brother. She was seven months away from replacing him, that's why Shikaku chose her to help us in the rebirth case. If Orochimaru knows that the current successor was not the original one, he'll be hunting for Yei and will surely find her with Shikamaru."

"Fuck." I drop on my chair. "They're all in the same fuckin' house."

* * *

**Author's Note:** Do follow me on tumblr at libertysleepstorm . tumblr .com. I've already posted some ShikaSaku drawings, and I might post a picture of Yutsuki soon. I was a frustrated manga artist when i was eleven, just so you know, until i decided that i'd stick to writing and painting portraits. haha


	12. Chapter Eleven

**Fingers around My Toes**

**By Lapiz Liberty**

**Summary****: **Shikamaru and Sakura ended the rebirth case with the conviction that they have lost each other once and for all. As Tsunade stitches that case close, Orochimaru greets them with a surprise that will force the former lovers to beat the odds a second time – whether they remember their past or not.

* * *

**Chapter Eleven**

**Shikamaru:**

I remembered waking up in the ICU. They flashed photographs of people I knew and ordered me recite their full names and my relationship to them. I had asked whether that procedure was necessary to confirm my identity, and I remembered dad telling me that it was more for my benefit than theirs.

I don't remember clearly the succeeding events in the hospital, either because I wanted to minimize my guilt or I couldn't see the point of dwelling in them for too long until now.

Sakura and Sai were confined in the rooms next to mine. Lady Tsunade allowed me to check on them while both were asleep. Sakura had been lying on her side, her cheeks creased with pillow marks, and I mumbled an apology to her. Right after, Kazuo asked the Fifth and me to leave so he could begin checking Sakura's internal organs.

Had she suffered from internal bleeding? Lady Tsunade said that the three of us suffered badly.

The ambush had been committed by a band of rogue ninjas from other villages.

Sai was half awake when I entered. His pupils roamed the circumference of his eyeballs to search for me, and then Isas raised his voice to get him to focus on the flashlight that he was switching on and off in front of him.

Since my thoughts were already coursing this dangerous road, I should assume that it had not been a trick of an eye when I saw a man that looked exactly like Danzo standing on the farther right corner of Sai's room that night, submerged in the dark but hardly hidden from a shadow manipulator like myself.

As I sighed, I allowed my body to accept and process the various stimuli erupting in the banquet hall. I had long lost my appetite and subjected myself to the agony of scrutinizing the little hints I had been picking up since acquiring my grand amnesia.

Mind-wandering would have been rude had Yei Hano the slightest care for me. She, like the rest of her comrades, shoved the food into her mouth, chewed, swallowed, and repeated this act with an eagerness that made me wonder if dad had corrupted the clan's funds and deprived the guards of decent food for years.

I doubted if they ate this much often. Few in the Nara clan ever grew as bulky as, say, Asuma or the Raikage (Choji and I bet they descended from the fabled giants of the earlier times). Perhaps the guards did consume food in this ratio on a daily basis and was accursed to never gaining more body weight. I had been ten years old the last I saw so many of them assembled in the same room.

I scooped rice with my chopsticks and glimpsed Yei's wrist. If not for that bracelet, I wouldn't have considered the possibility that there was more to this engagement than anybody in my family was letting on. My time in the ICU two months ago kept on haunting me, urging me to notice the details I had chosen to ignore before.

This led me to reminisce on the two weeks of rest the Fifth endowed me with after my release from the hospital. Dad, mum, Yutsuki, and I had spent three days in our forest lodging to catch up with each other's lives. Our discourse travelled various roads, sometimes filled with laughter concerning Yutsuki's delivery and sometimes filled with sighing in regret that I couldn't remember being present to hold my baby sister for the first time.

But then dad and mum opened up about their past. The topic caught me off guard, to be honest, because not once had I shown interest in learning of their affairs before they were married or even the circumstances that led to their marriage. All I knew and thought that mattered were the fact that they were engaged to each other as strangers and eventually fell in love – a love that gave birth to an irksome boy like me.

That wasn't all, it seemed. Dad had been previously engaged to an Aiko Hyuuga. Mum had, immediately after her marriage to dad, eloped with the man she truly loved. Dad had covered up for mum by revealing Aiko's miscarriage and he received most of Grandpa Michio's wrath. Mum returned, and dad took good care of her. Oh, and dad stunned me by saying that gramps wasn't as bad as everybody made him out to be; he simply loved people in his own unique way.

"You don't have to explain anything to me," I had told them while battling Yutsuki for the last piece strawberry in the basket. "It won't change a thing."

"We don't want to keep you in the dark anymore," dad had said. "You might find out this truth through other means and misunderstand us. I wouldn't want you to assume that your mother and I ever considered you a mistake. We loved you the moment the doctor confirmed that Yoshino was pregnant."

Dad being sentimental like that was never a result of old age, which encouraged me to suspect that we had bumped into a boulder in our relationship as father and son last year – an incident that must have burdened him so that he wanted to correct his mistakes before we encountered the same boulder again.

While I had earlier dismissed my suspicions about my forgotten year's events, at the back of my mind the hints were slowly accumulating to form a solid conviction that something significant had happened...and they were purposely shielding me from it.

An amnesia, a crippled body, an unhealthy affair with Sakura Haruno, a letter written by myself to myself and pinned in a book about forbidden jutsus...a letter burned by my father and cautioned to forget about. Now I was engaged to a woman from the clan guards who wore a bracelet that only the scholars wore.

The guards laughed and cheered the traditional chants of good luck for newly betrothed couples. Yei had enough sense to stop eating and to glower at them from our place on the platform.

"Please don't go punching everybody who upsets you," I said as I shifted on the cushion, inching away from her discreetly. "This isn't a battlefield, Yei. Behave like a..._woman_, because you evolved to look like one. You must've given Kaemon quite a shock."

Yei snapped her head towards me. "How so?"

"How so? You're seriously asking me that?"

"Yeah, I am."

I motioned to her face and tried not to blush. "Have you looked at yourself in the mirror lately? There's no doubt you're a female. Growing up, Kaemon and I were convinced you were a boy like us."

She leaned forward and frowned at me. "Listen, Shikamaru; just because I'm a woman now doesn't mean I've lost my touch in making men like you cry. Try me. I'll fracture your skull next."

"I dare you," I said. "Do that and you won't be able to escape this betrothal."

Colour receded from her face. She scratched her nose and cursed under her breath. "And I thought I could last through this entire year with you if you allowed me to turn you into my sparring dummy. I'm disappointed at you."

"I'm not sorry for disappointing you if it saves me from more injuries." I tossed a piece of fried meat into my mouth. The soy sauce lingered on my tongue and made me realize that I hadn't been paying attention to the food until now.

I glimpsed the platform behind me where mom and dad oversaw the entire hall. The two of them conversed with Sakura, who was kneeling beside mom and preparing to take Yutsuki away. My eyes lingered on her green kimono and the painting of my family insignia on her forehead.

She'd never marry into my clan, huh? Would she have considered marrying me before?

Neji appeared behind her. He grabbed her arm to support her ascent and together, they bowed to my parents and left the hall.

This was another mystery I couldn't understand. If Sakura and I had a relationship before, when did Neji enter the picture?

I returned my attention to Yei and saw that she was watching me. "What?"

She pressed her lips together. "Lord Shikaku informed me about Yutsuki. "

"...I guess you would have known sooner or later."

"They're a nice couple, aren't they?" She prodded her chin in the direction of Sakura and Neji.

"They're not a couple," I muttered. "Well, I'm not sure they are. I just assume they aren't. He's watching over her and she's watching over my sister and me."

"So they're staying in the house with us?"

"That's the plan. We have to make sure I recover, don't we?"

"You bet!" Yutsuki snorted. "I like Lady Yoshino and all, but I don't want to be wearing girl's clothes all day and fetching you this and that. Lasting the ceremony was hard enough. If I were to spend time with you, I'd rather we were in a training ground, dodging each other's shadows."

"Why did you agree to this in the first place?" I watched her; every twitch of the muscle underneath the skin of that beautiful face, anxious for a sign that my paranoia wasn't founded on nothing and she was here for more than the bargain my father offered her.

Yei's gaze softened. She nodded at the guards. "I love Kaemon and my brothers. If we lose our place in the guards, we lose our identity, and we won't know what to do afterwards."

I sipped the sake and swallowed quickly. "I apologize. It slipped my mind – your ordeal and the trouble with the guards...I will fix these things once I'm chief, you know."

"Kaemon said you would."

"But I also have my family to think of, and while dad is chief, you're his responsibility and Yutsuki is my problem to shoulder." I cleared my throat and glanced around us before saying, "I hope you understand that."

"I'm sure you'll be fully capable of taking care of her once this year ends and you're back on your feet." She raised her fist and grinned. "My mission is to guarantee that you'll retain your post and your victory against those senile Pillars. If you, by any means, screw this up and give me my first failed mission, I will marry you and take over the clan. Do you hear?"

I blinked several times at her. "How did Kaemon react when you started talking like a woman?"

She tipped her head to the side. "He said he missed his little brother."

I laughed. Yei laughed, too, and added that she didn't know what was happening to her. "At least as a woman, I'm able to torture and help the clan heir at the same time," she said.

"I'm not looking forward to that." I held my hand out. "But we have a deal. Let's treat this as a mission and make Yutsuki and the clan's safety our primary goal."

Yei thrust her hand towards mine and shook it thrice. "Deal!"

Her wrist, now plainly in view, donned only tattoos and no bracelet. Yei asked whether I was looking for something, and I answered that I was simply admiring her tattoos.

"How long should you be an official guard to be tattooed?"

"All your life."

"But you're at sentry level, aren't you?"

She raised her eyebrows. "Excuse me?"

"You checked the hearth room when you met me there this morning," I said, still gripping her hand. "You're a sentry and yet you're tattooed. Is that a privilege you get for being a subfamily of the clan guards?"

She withdrew her hand. "Do you seriously think that a warrior of my calibre is still stuck with guarding temples and scholars? You gotta be kidding me, Shikamaru."

The guards hooted and bowed their heads low at Yei. Uncle Toya cheered an incomprehensible blessing for us and tripped on his own foot and fell on top of a chief guard. The laughter and the stomping and the hooting drained me of my energy.

I touched my forehead. I couldn't have possibly imagined that bracelet; I felt its beads with my own hands when she punched me earlier.

From the corner of my eye, I caught sight of Daisuke walking the perimeter of the hall to reach the elevated platform behind me where father sat.

He whispered in his ear. Dad's eyes widened. Mum held his hand. Daisuke bowed and retreated. I waved at dad to capture his attention. "Anything wrong?" I asked.

Dad kissed mum's temple and followed Daisuke out of the hall. Mum transferred behind me and put her hand on my shoulder. "Nothing's wrong, son. Your father just forgot to sign some documents that are due to be inspected by the Hokage tonight. Yei, how are you doing, dear?"

She stripped her gaze from dad's departing figure and nodded at her. "I am well, milady. Awfully stuffed. The food is magnificent."

"Right." Mum took a deep breath. "Everything's going as planned."

**Sakura:**

The noise from the banquet hall drifted from us the further we travelled down the long corridor that led to Shikaku's library. He had instructed me to continue studying Yutsuki's case instead of getting mixed up with the riot that his clan guards were slowly but surely leading into.

"I already piled on the table the texts you'll find useful," he'd told me. Yoshino reminded him that the light in that part of the west wing had yet to be fixed; hence we had no choice but to use oil lamps.

When the corridor became too dark to see the chipped floorboards beneath us even with the help of a lamp, Neji hooked our arms together and ordered me to stay close. "This part of the house is like a maze," he said.

Yutsuki giggled in the darkness.

Standing so close to Neji enabled me to finally absorb the fullness of his stature. I was only as tall as his shoulder, and even on tiptoes I must still be a few inches shorter than him. His grip wasn't forceful, even when he steered me to the right and to the left as we attempted to locate Shikaku's library. I could not see his face from my vantage point; aside from Yutsuki's bouncing in my arms, his hair continually strayed forward to frame his face.

"That must be it." He raised the oil lamp towards a partly open door at the end of the corridor. The dozens of bookshelves lined inside the room confirmed that we had successfully arrived at our destination. Neji guided me to a chair to rest while he lit the candles and opened the windows.

The gloom crept back and was replaced by a steady glow of yellow light. I sat Yutsuki on the table and reached for the first book on the mountain of books that Shikaku had prepared for me. Yutsuki grabbed one, too, and mimicked me as I flipped through the pages.

Neji sat beside me and set the oil lamp between us. "This house is quite the mystery."

"The family who owns it is the mystery," I said. "For such intelligent people, they're quite rebellious."

"Rebellious?"

I reached for another book. "Mr. Shikaku once mentioned that his father wanted to burn the west wing of the house and replace it with something of the modern age just so he could drive his grandfather out of his sight. He didn't do it, though, because he decided that he'd rather annoy him for the remainder of his life by letting this wing crumble on its own. Besides, it's not only that. You heard the guards – Yei assaulted Shikamaru and the engagement still happened. I think Mr. Shikaku's main concern is aggravating the Pillars."

Neji glimpsed me while he sorted through the books with his right hand and held Yutsuki still with his left. "Would you rather the engagement did not happen?"

"T-that's not what I meant."

"Trouble of that nature that is bound to occur if you have a character like Yei Hano and Shikamaru forced to cooperate for a greater purpose," he said.

"I'm worried for Shikamaru, that's all."

"I think Yei Hano has the right mind not to murder him."

"She is incredibly beautiful, though, isn't she?"

"That's compensation for Shikamaru."

I shut the book. "Yeah, but-"

"People think that arranged marriages are a curse." He blew the dust off the cover of the next book and handed it to me. "With a fiancé as beautiful as Yei, it's inevitable that the tables will turn for Shikamaru and people will begin to be jealous instead of sorry for him."

"Shikamaru isn't the type to function properly in this kind of set-up."

"How would you know, Sakura?"

I shrugged one shoulder. "It just seems that way, judging from his character..."

"Shikamaru knew from the start that he will succeed his father one day, and at some point, Mr. Shikaku must have explained these possibilities to him," he said. "Stop worrying about him. You have your own problems to think of."

"But I'm also Shikamaru's doctor now."

"Temporarily," he added.

"While we're playing with them in their game?"

"Yes, while we're involved in this game of theirs," he said.

I rubbed my elbow and frowned at it, pretending to be worried of a graze when something else entirely was dominating my thoughts. "What happens to the game if Shikamaru falls in love with Yei Hano?"

"He marries her."

"Just like that?"

"You'd do best not to underestimate Shikamaru even in the midst of this pathetic engagement," Neji said. "I doubt he'll let his emotions run wild before he settles this mission which his birthright had predestined him to fulfil...or perhaps he _will_ fall in love with Yei Hano and resolve the issue once and for all."

"Why the sudden change of opinion?"

"I've learned that even the most passive of people can surprise his peers at the least opportune moments."

"You're talking out of experience, aren't you?" I cupped my face as I gazed at him. "So who is this 'passive' person who managed to surprise the almighty calm of Neji Hyuuga?"

He leaned close and whispered, "You don't know him, and he does not know you. There is no point in sharing that piece of the past."

"Did he reveal that he's not as passive as he made everybody think and being passive was just his way of getting the upper-hand in battles?"

"Didn't you hear what I said?"

"You didn't like him at first but he does something in a mission that gains him your respect?"

"Sometimes, I wonder how I can keep up with you."

"Was he in love?"

"Pardon?"

"I mean, it's cheesy but it's true that people do crazy stuff when they're in love and – or maybe that passive guy _is_ crazy like a psychopath. You're not giving me enough hints."

"He does not wish to be acquainted with women who are below the rank of jounin."

"Haha, Neji. Ha. Ha."

"Ha!" echoed Yutsuki.

"Don't develop TenTen's gossiping habit." He scowled and sighed, as though I was a withering plant that he used to admire. "It's unpleasant. And can you please sit more like a lady? You, too, Yutsuki."

I glanced at my position, cross-legged and hunched over an open book. "How is a kunoichi who is studying new medical texts supposed to sit? Like a statue?"

"I am not a lady that I should know."

I ran the back of my hand along my hairline to wipe the sweat before they touched the paint on my forehead. "Sorry, Neji, this is the most proper I can be when I'm in the middle of attempting a breakthrough in medicine. I can be better when we're doing something else."

Neji swiped his thumb across my cheek. "You're perspiring. Do you want me to open the windows wider?"

"No, no, it's fine."

He walked to the window directly in front of our table. "Yutsuki might be uncomfortable."

I gathered the sleeve of my kimono and wiped Yutsuki's neck with it. She wriggled on the table, blushed and grinned, enjoying my pampering. "How about we just blow out some of the candles, Neji?"

I waited for a response. He didn't move. I called his name again and received the same silence.

Lowering Yutsuki to the ground, I let her walk beside me as I approached Neji.

The wind from the backyard whistled into the room, blowing his hair away from his face. I shivered and touched his arm. "Neji?"

He stared outside with drooping eyelids, unaware of me. His body maintained a rigidness that alarmed me. I stepped closer to him and clutched his shoulder. "Neji, are you okay? Hey, why are you – "

He swung his arm outwards, driving my hand off him, and his fist collided with my right cheekbone. I doubled backwards, slipped, and fell on my rear. Yutsuki fell, too, and burst into tears.

I heard Neji gasp. I looked at him again, and I had a feeling that he was finally himself. He whipped his head left and right and found me on the floor. Yutsuki cried louder.

"Sakura," he hissed and crouched beside me. "What happened?"

**Ino:**

I kept my feet wide apart for balance as I bent my knees and ducked my head to merge with the shadow that the nearby tree had cast over the roof. The wind played with my hair, and for once I was glad that it was so short I did not have to brush if off my face.

Beside me, TenTen sneezed.

I covered her mouth with my hand and pulled us down the other side of the roof, deeper into the shadows.

TenTen wriggled free of me. "She's not a ninja that she should hear me from up here, Ino. The damn woman hadn't even paused the entire hour we've been following her."

"I won't risk getting seen." I glimpsed her silhouette on the road, a lone figure in the empty street of this residential faction of Konoha village. "If dad discovers that I'm spying on his girlfriend, he won't talk to me until he has to because he's proposed to her and they need me to be present in the wedding like the good girl I'm supposed to be."

TenTen hopped to the next roof and laded without a sound. I leapt and joined her on the water pipe, standing on tiptoes to see our prey better.

"You're convinced Sir Inoichi will propose to this Matsui woman?"

"Tazu Matsui," I corrected her. "And yes, I'm really convinced that he'll propose to her soon. Why do you think I left the house?"

"Did you at least uncover evidence?"

"_Who are you_?" I gasped. "TenTen never asks for 'evidence'. Did you eat Shikamaru's brain?"

She put her hands on her waist and tossed her chin up. "Romantic matters that are of this severity call for evidence, Ino. You can never assume that a man will propose to a woman simply because he allows her to spend the night in his house or he spends the night in her house or he constantly makes everybody feel that he won't last a day without at least seeing her-"

"-exactly why I'm disgusted by dad at the moment!"

"No, you need concrete proof," she said. "Ino, you wouldn't have moved out if your dad didn't do something that really offended you. Spit it out and I'll be the judge of whether he is proposing to this bitch."

I dragged my feet to the edge of the roof and leapt to the neighbouring apartment building. TenTen tailed me silently, a sign that she wasn't going to mutter another word until I came clean. On the street below us, Tazu greeted a woman and her child as they passed through their front gate.

I hated her red lipstick and her long legs and her brown hair.

"I hate her," I said. "It's because of her that dad put down his wedding picture and boxed away his wedding ring. It's all her fault."

"Shit, Ino." TenTen dragged me away from the building's edge. "He is going to propose to her."

"What did I tell you?"

"Why so fast?" She pressed her hands against her cheeks and stared wide-eyed at me. "This is wrong. How long have they been together? Two months? Three?"

"Six weeks."

"Six weeks!"

"Six fuckin' weeks." I slogged along the building's perimeter, following Tazu as she turned the corner. "This is the only exercise she does, isn't it? Walk the same route in the evening, greet people, get fresh air, return home, eat dinner, visit my dad if possible...hey, is she doing hand formations?"

TenTen squinted to see. "Can't be. She must be stretching her fingers. I would be if I were planting flowers in the morning and trimming them in the afternoon."

"Do you think dad is trying to impress her with his ninja skills?" I mimicked the hand formation she was doing, speeding up the transition from one command to another, and rummaged my memory for this technique. "Yeah, she's just stretching her fingers. It doesn't even have elemental summon to it, what she's doing."

"Ino, Tazu not a ninja." TenTen glowered at me. "She hasn't even noticed us and we've been spying on her for a week. She's not that kind of threat to your father. She just made him fall in love with her."

"If she's not a serial killer – "

"Ino! TenTen!"

The two of us jumped backwards and searched the street for the idiot who disclosed our presence. TenTen elbowed me. "Two o'clock. Choji Akimichi."

I stood straight to see the network of streets connected to the one we were in. "Hey, Tazu's gone."

"TenTen! Ino! Yohoo!"

We leapt down and raced each other to smacking Choji. I won. Choji held his forehead and winced. "What was that for, Ino?"

"You idiot! Don't you see we were on a mission?"

"Mission?" He looked back and fro TenTen and me. "Inside of Konoha? You haven't been promoted to ANBU, have you? Oh, hey, Kiba! Did you know that TenTen and Ino are in a mission?"

I shivered. TenTen whistled. Choji busied himself with searching his pockets for food.

Kiba dropped his arm around my shoulders. "So, still in that mission, huh? You said you'd be in the hospital for night shift. Is Tazu Matsui a patient who ran away?"

I folded my arms against my chest. "I've got no reason to apologize for wanting to do a background check on the woman who has seduced my father."

Choji grinned and scratched the back of his head. "Sorry, Ino."

Kiba opened his mouth, closed it, and wrinkled his nose. "TenTen, what in the world is that smell?"

Akamaru growled.

TenTen sniffed her clothes. "I've already changed my clothes twice since coming from that trip out of the village. It's your fault you've got that nose, Kiba."

I leaned closer to her. "I don't smell anything."

"Like a corpse." Kiba gagged. "I hate that smell. Been dead for a while – rotting, even. Woman, middle-aged...horrible death, eh?"

"I'll never understand how the smell of a corpse can determine that," I told him.

Kiba smirked. "You've got a genius for a boyfriend!"

"Yeah, yeah, every guy says that."

Choji offered a bag of potato chips to TenTen. "What were you doing with a corpse?"

She sniffed her elbow. "Sir Inoichi had Master Guy and me check out this mutilated woman and identify whether the marks on her flesh were caused by animal claws or human insanity. Turned out the claw marks are actually from a dagger that originated from the fifth generation of the Morikubo Clan who were famous for their-"

"Oh goodness, TenTen, skip the specifications on the weapon and get on with the story!" I said.

"The rest of her flesh was hand-scraped – especially around the face. Can't identify her with the amount of injury she received and the time that has lapsed since her death." She smelled her fingers and stuck her tongue out. "Disgusting. The blood doesn't wash away so easily, it's frustrating!"

I clung to Kiba's arm. "Hand-scraped?"

"It's weird, really." TenTen shooed Akamaru. "Hey, stop smelling me!"

"Too late." Kiba clicked his tongue to call his dog back to him. "We've already memorized the woman's scent. I'll tell you if her ghost is following you."

Choji shoved the bag of potato chips to TenTen's face. "C'mon, it will make you feel good. This is a special edition, too. Won't find any of these anymore."

I glanced behind me - at the empty street that Tazu had passed. Kiba pecked my cheek and whispered that I shouldn't worry too much about dad. He'd be fine. Tazu seemed like she was serious enough about making him happy.

He jerked his head to our left and untangles himself from me. "We've got company."

Kakashi emerged from the gloom. He balanced on the fence and flicked his hand up. "Yo."

"Good evening, sir," said Choji. "What happened to your book?"

Kakashi forced a chuckle. "I finished reading it. You're asking because you heard that it will be banned soon?"

"Father says it should be."

"Sir Chouza and I aren't really close." He smiled at me. "Ino, Lady Tsunade wants to see you. She said she'd bother Sir Inoichi if only he wasn't too old; as it is..."

"Tell that to his face!" I squeezed Kiba's hand and patted Akamaru's nose before I marched towards Kakashi. "He's too old to have a girlfriend!"

"_Ino_..." Kiba grumbled.

Kakashi put his hand above his eye. "Actually, your father is busy right now because he's covering for Sir Shikaku. The Naras must be having quite the feast tonight. All the lights are turned on in their estate. Are the lot of you planning to crash the party?"

"Oh, yeah!" Choji offered me the chips. "His fiancé arrived today! If Tazu Matsui's lurking here, she must be delivering flowers to Mrs. Nara."

"Tazu as in Inoichi's girlfriend?" asked Kakashi.

"Yes, the one and only." I looked over my shoulder – at TenTen. "We've never seen her deliver flowers here before, have we?"

**Shikaku:**

I found Yei Hano meditating on the roof at two o'clock in the morning. Her legs were tucked beneath her and her hands were upturned and relaxed on her knees. She sat in comfortable silence while listening to the whispers of the Hidden-Leaf Village, the only form of rest she would have now that she had entered the game.

"The sentries from your party?" I asked as I approached her.

She opened her eyes and bowed her head to me. "I've drugged them, sir – during the feast. We are at complete liberty to travel through this side of the estate without being seen by my party or yours."

"You adapted quickly."

"I had to," she said. "You promised this would save Kaemon and my family's heritage."

"It will, Yei. It will."

We crossed the backyard, coursed through the empty lot behind our estate, and leapt from roof to roof to get to the military base. Daisuke met us at the gate with two more men from my team. Together, we manoeuvred past the guards on night shift and found the underground tunnel that led out of the village.

Daisuke held the torch high for us. "The rest of the team are already in Lab Five, sir. They're waiting for you."

Yei sustained her pace in front of me, checking the stance of my men every now and then and tightening her grip on the hilt of her sword. "Lord Shikaku, you mentioned that the Hyuuga who is with Sakura Haruno is part of this case. I didn't feel him leave the house."

"I did," I said. "He left earlier than we did because his superior in this case is an ANBU we call Nohara. He answers to her and you answer to me. That's our current chain of command."

"Yes, sir."

I cleared my throat and glanced at Akira and Satoshi. "I'd appreciate it if you stop gawking at a newly betrothed girl. She will be my daughter-in-law soon. Do not make any attempt of sweeping her off her feet. She'll cut off yours."

"Are they bothering you, sir?" Yei dragged her sword out of its sheath a little, enough for them to see the blade.

Akira and Satoshi cast their eyes elsewhere.

I shook my head. "We're fine. You can trust these men. I trained them well."

It shouldn't have surprised me that Yei Hano received the same – if not worse - reaction from the actual team. Daisuke announced our presence and the last sound we heard for at least five minutes was the door shutting close behind Yei and I.

Yei, oblivious to her powers of enchantment, stared back at everyone and assumed this was the customary welcome for newcomers. When I could bear their stunned expressions anymore, I marched forward and flicked my finger twice, signalling her to tail me.

Master Jiraiya pinched his cheek. "I feel so ugly."

Lady Tsunade came forward. "So this is the girl, Shikaku?"

"Yes, milady. Fifth, this is Yei Hano, only daughter of the Hano branch of the clan guards." I smile at Yei to ease her up. "This is the Fifth Hokage, the person you've been longing to meet."

Yei's chest rose and did fall. She gaped at Lady Tsunade.

I chuckled. "Pardon her – she's not used to meeting woman of high rank."

"That's understandable. At least there are people of her age who are still capable of showing me some respect. " She extended her hand to her. "It's a pleasure to finally meet you, Yei. How are you getting along with Shikamaru?"

"_Horrible_." She breathed out the word and glimpsed me from the corner of her eye. "I m-mean, he's fantastic. He let me punch him."

"You punched him?" Master Jiraiya applauded her. "I like this girl. She's just like Tsunade."

"Meet the rest of the team." I walked her around the table, where Inoichi and my underlings were still attempting to comprehend her physical appeal. Kakashi waved once. Nohara shook her hand. Inoichi congratulated her on her engagement, even if it was only a necessary formality to save my family from ruin. Shizune exclaimed that she had never imagined someone could be so gorgeous, and TonTon snorted his agreement.

Ino's smile was forced – even I could tell. Before Inoichi's daughter struck tension, I proceeded to introduce Yei to Kurenai, our genjutsu expert. She remarked that it was impossible for Shikamaru not to fall for a beauty like Yei, which gave me a hint that she favoured Sakura to be with Neji.

I chose not to ponder on this detail because pondering would likely lead to a discussion in the morning with Yoshino, who would shrug and say that Sakura might actually be the best partner for Shikamaru in the end.

Neji acknowledged Yei with a curt bow – recognizing her now as part of my family - and without the slightest interest in impressing her. Yei mimicked him, albeit hers was manlier.

I sensed a slight discomfort in Neji's air. Had I been working him too hard?

The last would be Hiroshi. He did not move or say anything. For some reason, this made Yei smile.

Lady Tsunade clapped her hands once. "Alright, people, let's get to work. Priority is the recent progress we've made in determining Orochimaru's course of action – one that is being executed rather sloppily because he can't lift his ass off his deathbed and Kabuto has his hands full feeding him, washing him, nursing him, and killing innocent people for him."

"We have dead people on our plate now?" asked Kakashi.

We stepped closer to the round table and focused our attention on the miniature pond encircled by the rebirth script and the blood seal Shikamaru had used. Lady Tsunade flattened her hands on the table. "One has been confirmed by Jiraiya, the other is being studied by Inoichi's team. Unfortunately, the corpses are showing more and more similarities."

"Have we got an identity, at least?"

Master Jiraiya and Lady Tsunade turned to look at me. I felt my pocket for the bracelet that Daisuke had surrendered to me during his visit. Taking it out, I uncurled my fingers and showed it to Yei. "Master Sho had been targeted and killed. I'm sorry."

Yei's lips parted. She sucked in air and would not release it.

I gripped her shoulder, worried that she would collapse. Yei blinked at the bracelet, found hers in her pocket, and scanned the faces of her audience. "Your enemy will be after me, but they'll try to capture Akemi first. He'll only be a casualty, however. Everybody knows he hasn't trained under Master Sho as long as I have."

"Akemi's your replacement?" said Master Jiraiya.

I affirmed and add that Akemi, along with the other scholars, were currently being evacuated and transferred to an abandoned temple that had been restored and inhabited by the guards. "Yoshino and I will be visiting them soon to give them instructions. The Pillars will interrogate me for sure; I'll tell them that we're investigating a possible attack on the medical breakthroughs achieved by the Fifth and her apprentice. Isn't there an issue brewing about the Cloud doubting the medical practice of the Leaf?"

Nohara was suddenly behind me, her palm flat against Yei's forehead. "Calm down, girl. Breathe."

Yei whisked away from her. "They won't be able to grab me now that I'm in Konoha. They'll lure me out. They'll abduct Kaemon!"

"We're already securing your brother."

Inoichi offered to go out and check the progress of the evacuation. "They should have word of your brother by now."

"If I were Orochimaru, I will wait for this team to solve the puzzle before I abduct Kaemon and bargain for the answer I need to perfect the rebirth jutsu." She rubbed her cheek, as though trying to scrape off its redness. "To do that, I need a mole in this team. That person should be one of the firsts to receive whatever progress the case makes. That would eliminate Neji Hyuuga, Ino Yamanaka, and Miss Kurenai Yuhi. Kakashi Hatake and Nohara the ANBU are okay choices, but I'd want to stay ahead of the game – no, it'll between Miss Shizune, the assistant to the Fifth, the Fifth Hokage herself, Sir Inoichi Yamanaka, Master Jiraiya, and you, Lord Shikaku." She turned around and pointed at Hiroshi. "You can't be the mole. Based on my briefing, I'm certain that you're going to be under observation until Orochimaru is brought down once and for all. If I were him, I'd kill you the soonest I get the opportunity to do so. You're the only person who'll be able to confirm whether the assumptions in this rebirth puzzle have a chance of being correct. While everybody's busy figuring out how you died, I'd win the race by performing a rebirth jutsu on someone Shikamaru will die for just to see whether there are any more loopholes he can uncover."

"Yei!"

"I won't kill an old man from an old clan unless I'm desperate or I'm well on my way to piecing together the answer! Nobody but me knows when he plans to visit the mountains and the route he'll take!"

"That's enough!"

"Master Sho had nothing to do with this!" She flailed her arms. "I'm supposed to be the sacrifice, not my godfather or my brother!"

Nohara jabbed Yei's neck. Neji caught her.

I pinched the bridge of my nose and closed my eyes. Lady Tsunade paced the room. Master Jiraiya grumbled. The rest watched as Neji carried Yei on his back and received instructions from Nohara on what room to put her in. "She's in shock. Let's give her time to rest, even just for a little while. She's useless like this," she said.

"She could be right," said Kakashi. "Orochimaru manipulated us through Anko before. If he does not have the means to fight against us in the physical, he'll move within us and reserve his strength until the right moment arrives for him to act."

Inoichi conceded that we did not know enough.

I announced that we had to move cautiously; if a mole did exist, the trigger for war would be the moment Yei discovered the secret behind Shikamaru's counterattack on the rebirth ceremony. "Until then," I said. "be careful where you put your trust."


End file.
